Monogamy = Monotony?

[ClosedCaption]

I was watching some show about dating and a younger female (maybe late 20's) said that Monogamy was Monotony.

I have some thoughts on this so I'm curious how others feel about it. One of the best analogies I heard was that men and women are different. Men typically want more or new women. Women typically like to keep their numbers sort of low so they have those guys they can count on if they are in need instead of finding some new guy.

Sex for men is sorta like pizza. Even when its bad its still sorta good. Its the complete opposite with women.

So back to the analogy: You can train a bear to ride a unicycle and wear a funny hat but at his foundation, a bear would like nothing more than to swat salmon out of a stream and shit in the woods. But he can learn to ride that uni....And thats men, Men would love to have new women but they have learned to deal with the social contract that is marriage. Sometimes (most times) they cheat somewhere along the line because (blah blah foundation, evolution, etc etc)

Anywho, your thoughts?

 

[Delta4Embassy]

I think at different stages of our lives, what may have appeal for someone older/younger might not for someone different in age. Monogamy might be perfect for older people prizing stability and familarity more than passion for example. Whereas for younger people, variety and excitement might be what's prized.

To me, affection is affection and how it's expressed doesn't matter. So there's no 'line' separating 'friendly affection' from 'romantic affection.' The way I hug friends isn't so different from how I'd hug a lover. And rather than put people into different boxes as with 'friends' and 'lovers' it's all the same box. Because the way affection is expressed isn't fundamentally different one type of relationship to another, why should I differentiate between friends or lovers? Consequently, while I don't object to monogamy, it's simply irrelevant in my life and how I relate to people. If I have a friend I enjoy making feel good including sexually, they'd already know for all intents and purposes it's not indicating exclusivity. I have multiple friends at any given time, and with some of them I may be expressing affection physically. No way better.

I think when we force monogamy or exclusivity it's like passing a law forbidding something. All you really do is force aquisition or enduldgement to go udnerground. As with cheating. If you insist on monogamy, you're really only insisting on cheating in secret. If you really like or love a person, shouldn't their being happy be unconditional? If they're happy being able to share physical affection and pleasures with other friends as well as ourselves, isn't that better for our making them happy them forcing them to only be affectionate with us?

Admittedly, it's taken me a long time to get to this point emotionally where I'm ok 'sharing' my friends with other friends, but I think it's ultimately the prefered mode. 'If you love someone, let them boink their brains out, if they spend the night with you they're your's...'

 

[Disir]

The marriage contract was about property. The transfer of wealth. So, for men to learn how to deal with the social construct is pretty funny. It was their social construct to begin with. The only thing that men had to figure out is how to deal with the social construct now that women are often in control of their own financial destiny and do not have to be dependent on them.

Women cheat too.


It depends on how well you know yourself, your partner, what it is that you are looking for and how well each can adapt later as life changes and you have different wants and needs. If you can't do that then it's not just monotony, it's a death sentence.

 

[Casjah]

Most of what I would say has already been stated. For the vast majority of people, monogamy is simply an unnatural state. Imo, cheating is for cowards and the socially lazy who cannot manage their lives as adults. If people find they cannot be exclusive, it is their responsibility to find relationships accepting of that fact. Living a life of deceit is a pathetically low existence unworthy of respect.

 

[Mr. H.]

I have a crush on the salon gal next door but I have too much respect for the Mrs. to go dabbling about.

If I were 30 years younger and single, it would be a different story.

If I wanna bop a young beauty I could always go to Vegas...

 

[September]

Monogamy is extremely overrated.
​

 

[Mad Scientist]

I was watching some show about dating

Stop watching TV shows about dating.

 

[Mad Scientist]

Monogamy is extremely overrated.
​

You're right. It's SO hard to get any STD's that way.

 

[JakeStarkey]

Women think they can change men, and they can't.

Men think women don't change, and they do.

Personal opinion: anyone who can't be monogamous should not prey on others.

 

[ClosedCaption]

I was watching some show about dating

Stop watching TV shows about dating.

No.

 

[ClosedCaption]

Women think they can change men, and they can't.

Men think women don't change, and they do.

Personal opinion: anyone who can't be monogamous should not prey on others.

I wonder tho...Do cheaters go into the relationship with the intent to cheat? I dont think so.

So "cant be monogomous" is a prophetic statement, right?

 

[OnePercenter]

You're right. It's SO hard to get any STD's that way.

I haven't been monogamous for 20 years, yet I'm STD free. It's called being smart and responsible.

 

[OnePercenter]

You're right. It's SO hard to get any STD's that way.

A yeast infection is a STD. Usually caused by a dirty penis.

 

[JakeStarkey]

Monogamy is not difficult at all and certainly not boring sexually or intimately. If one has a great spouse, why look around?