Melania's Dragnet: Casino Comedy

[Abishai100]

This is a Melania Trump crime-story inspired by Quick Change (Bill Murray).

Signing off,



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"After Melania Trump (U.S. First Lady) attended the sad funeral of her husband Donald (U.S. President), she wondered how the Secret Service and CIA could allow a Cobra terrorist to actually infiltrate the White House and cut Donald's throat while he slept! Melania was shocked to also discover that the Vice-President was also murdered, creating a state of emergency in the U.S. government and forcing the Cabinet to elect her (Melania!) as the stand-by acting President until a proper procedure could be determined to create social stability."



"Meanwhile a daring band of bank-robbers wearing Disney character masks (e.g., Mickey Mouse) were robbing banks across U.S. cities and leaving messages at the robberies such as, 'If the First Lady is now the acting President, then Americans have the right to consider more fun ways to celebrate capitalism --- e.g., bank-robbery!'. The FBI penned this gang the Disney Devils [DD]. DD was responsible for over 10 robberies in just one month, so the FBI considered them top-priority."

"President Melania Trump felt absolutely affronted by the suggestion that she was somehow 'incapable' of serving as America's top leader, so she decided to don a vigilante costume and mask and become the heroine known as the Batwoman. As Batwoman, Melania could prowl around America (in a bat-mobile and bat-jet built by her private engineer from MIT) tracking the Disney Devils [DD] gang, determined to put them behind bars. Batwoman believed any conviction in consumerism-culture warranted a serious praise of law and order. Batwoman (Melania) wanted to see DD become an 'example' of what not to do."



BATWOMAN: Don't you have pity towards America?
DISNEY DEVIL: Why? Consumerism is superficial!
BATWOMAN: Well, there're ways to vent frustrations...art for example.
DISNEY DEVIL: Art? Are you joking? Hollywood is as corrupt as Microsoft.
BATWOMAN: Are you suggesting there're media-scandals among celebrities?
DISNEY DEVIL: Do you doubt it, Mrs. Trump? Why is People Magazine so thrilling?
BATWOMAN: I suppose it's because everyday shoppers like 'brain-candy.'
DISNEY DEVIL: Yes and no; Americans crave the outlandish to make consumerism 'fun.'
BATWOMAN: So since people like junk-food, you advocate the marketing of crime?
DISNEY DEVIL: We understand that crime doesn't pay, but TrumpUSA was depressing!
BATWOMAN: Why do you think I became a vigilante?
DISNEY DEVIL: For the same reason you revealed your identity once you arrested us.
BATWOMAN: To prove a point, right?
DISNEY DEVIL: Yes...
BATWOMAN: Well, your point was that "Crime is a vehicle for comedy/sarcasm."
DISNEY DEVIL: Precisely...
BATWOMAN: Perhaps we share something --- we're both 'pensive' by fortune.
DISNEY DEVIL: Haha, that's funny!

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[Abishai100]

Chapter 2: The Night-Destroyer



This addendum I couldn't resist posting asks the question, "Would Melania Trump be a top-rate social critic?"

I was at first a critic of the Trump Administration, but perhaps it's growing on us all...



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"Melania Trump was no longer a vigilante, but she used a classic photo of her with her deceased husband (Donald Trump) to make a nifty little ad about recruiting vigilantes for modern crime. In the ad, Melania suggested that whoever was willing to take up the reins of crime-fighting in America would be canonized as a real patriot. Would the ad work?"



"Meanwhile, in Siberia, a terrifying snow-creature (humanoid in appearance) named Wendigo was terrorizing tourists and residents of nearby villages. Wendigo would simply kidnap people trekking in the snow and take them back to his cave where he'd break their necks before devouring them. He was, after all, a cannibal. An idealistic vigilante named Ajay read about Wendigo and also Melania's vigilante-ad and decided to contact Washington to explain to Melania that he wanted to track/chase Wendigo. Melania was thrilled, since Wendigo was a real freak."



After Ajay killed Wendigo, he was immortalized in a new series of comics called Cannibal (printed in the USA), where he was described as a 'pedestrian-favorite modern hero.' Ajay was depicted as simply wearing an orange shirt and hat and chasing overgrown alligators eating tourists, serial-killers with chainsaws and a taste for human flesh, and of course, the dreaded snow-creature known as the Wendigo. Ajay became a cult-celebrity for his heroism."



"Soon, Brett Ratner wanted to make a film about Ajay, starring Tom Cruise as Ajay and Tom Hardy as his fictional sidekick, Watson. The film would depict Ajay going to Siberia with Watson not to tackle the Wendigo but rather a strange new ape-deviant strain-species large in size and cannibalistic in behavior. The film, titled Snow Monkeys of the AntiChrist, was a big success, and it prompted Melania to tweet, 'Perhaps vigilantism is the new religion!'."



"Ajay then began providing stick-figure doodle-drawings of beloved DC Comics and Marvel Comics characters such as the female Livewire and the male symbiote maniac Carnage. These doodles were provided to Highlights Magazine for Children, since the publication was known for 'colloquialisms' regarding education and culture conducive to the marketing of norms and customs to children/youngsters in a tutorial-setting. There were even coloring-sections in some editions. These stick-figure doodles Ajay provided to Highlights Magazine became very popular. Melania tweeted, 'I love Ajay's tiny doodles!'."



"As Ajay became more and more popular, comic book artists decided to pen him as a modern-day superhero. Now, a Marvel Comics writer began writing about Ajay, giving him the hero-alias Sage. Marvel's Sage became very popular and he came to symbolize modernism idealism towards justice and the law. Spielberg was even directing a movie-adaptation of Sage comics, starring Christian Bale as the offbeat Sage."



"A psychotic Algerian terrorist named Ali saw the Sage film directed by Spielberg and concluded that American society was all about justice-daydreams and was somewhat of a hypocrisy, given America's history of terrible legal decision-making such as the misgovernance of the Native-American population. Ali decided to fashion himself a metallic suit and hit the streets of Europe (London, Paris, Berlin, and Barcelona), killing people with a fancy silencer-pistol late at night. Ali called himself the Night-Destroyer. Would Ali now became a celebrity too, or would Ajay ('Sage') be able to defeat him (the 'Night-Destroyer')?"



MELANIA: All this Sage-fanfare is exciting, no?
CNN: Do you miss your days as a crime-fighter yourself?
MELANIA: Not really; it was scary chasing those Disney Devils.
CNN: What do you make of this Night-Destroyer?
MELANIA: He's a real spook; I wish Donald was here to offer advice.
CNN: We all miss President Trump...
MELANIA: I hope I did an adequate job in our time of crisis!
CNN: Many feel you did just fine, Mrs. Trump.
MELANIA: I wonder what they'll say about Trumponomics.
CNN: I suppose you hope they don't disparage it like Reaganomics.
MELANIA: Well, Trump was the first celeb-prez since Reagan...
CNN: Isn't society-chatter rather...schizophrenic?
MELANIA: Yes it is; I hope Ajay/Sage decides to arrest Night-Destroyer.

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[Abishai100]

Pompeii


An entire city/civilization is built around a volcano which erupts, destroying the area and reducing the settlement into ashes. We know of the story of Pompeii, and there's even a movie about it now.

Why would humans want to live around a volcano? Is that some kind of pedagoguery-dare?

What if our fictional Disney Devils bank-robbers Melania contended with in our 'capitalism-parody' performed their robberies after it was reported that a giant asteroid would crash into the Earth, bringing forth the Apocalypse, or some potential species 'extinction level event' (ELE)?

What would we say about such 'Sophism-pedagoguery?

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DISNEY DEVIL: Why did you order this interview, Agent Pervis?
PERVIS: I've been a cop for 5 years, and a detective for 2.
DISNEY DEVIL: So what?
PERVIS: I can't get my head around the fact that you'd rob a bank during the Apocalypse.
DISNEY DEVIL: Why is that so surprising?
PERVIS: Hey, we all love a good joke, but what are you, the AntiChrist?
DISNEY DEVIL: Gimme a break, Agent Pervis...
PERVIS: Seriously, what's the allure of robbing banks when an asteroid approaches Earth?
DISNEY DEVIL: Well, I can flee to Tahiti with the money and get some good living before I die.
PERVIS: That's a laugh; you'd have, what, 6 months before the asteroid crashes into Earth?
DISNEY DEVIL: Precisely!
PERVIS: Precisely? Are you just proving you're Evil Knievel, some daredevil?
DISNEY DEVIL: What are you, the new Centurion of Capitalism?
PERVIS: Maybe.
DISNEY DEVIL: Well, let's just say, I'm interest in 'late-hour' heroics for humanity.
PERVIS: Heroics? Do you think you 'inspire' the homeless when you rob banks?
DISNEY DEVIL: I have no intention of 'inspiring the homeless,' Agent Pervis.
PERVIS: What then? What's your 'rationale'? Why did Melania become Batwoman just for you?
DISNEY DEVIL: In my estimate, Agent Pervis, Melania caught us since she was clever with money.
PERVIS: You mean she was shrewd about human nature...
DISNEY DEVIL: Precisely; our purpose was to simply show America that treasure-hunting was vaudevillian.
PERVIS: That explains your Disney-character masks?
DISNEY DEVIL: Who doesn't love Disney's Atlantis, Agent Pervis?

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