- Sep 22, 2013
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This commerce-paranoia vignette inspired by the recent North Korean nuclear 'intrigue' was inspired by the capitalism-crisis historical-drama film Thirteen Days.
Cheers,
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American paramilitary-crusaders known as 'G.I. Joes' were vying with a super-terrorist organization known as 'Cobra' which was currently allied to ISIS. The G.I. Joe ninja 'Snake-Eyes' was on a personal mission to rescue his dream-lover Mara (an undersea nymph) from Cobra's underwater fortress in the Pacific. Snake-Eyes was infatuated with Mara and was enraged that Cobra was using her hostage-status as a bargaining-chip. President Trump suggested to Snake-Eyes that rescuing Mara from Cobra would uplift the morale of all Americans.
No one knew Snake-Eyes was actually the mystical ale-mascot (avatar) 'Pumpkinhead' for the Shipyard ale company. Snake-Eyes knew that Mara was the secret ale-muse (avatar) for St. Pauli's Girl Beer company. It was a big darkside secret that Mara really was the St. Pauli's girl! Snake-Eyes reasoned that Cobra wanted to hijack consumerism-culture by demoralizing Americans with the social loss of the magical and beautiful blue-skinned Mara (aka, 'the St. Pauli's girl'). Snake-Eyes (aka, 'Pumpkinhead') knew he had to rescue Mara to save the autumn harvest.
Cobra Commander realized that keeping Mara as a prisoner would thwart the Trump Administration's plan to use commerce to catalyze peace-promoting commercial relations with the European Union and therefore with other vital trade partners such as South Korea (now that nuclear North Korea was threatening the world with its nefarious weapons-testing!). Cobra Commander was a vile fascist and wanted to use ISIS to plot a secret global terrorism plot involving North Korea, nuclear weapons, and also chemical weapons (on Halloween Eve in Washington, D.C.!).
All of this geo-political 'insanity' had released an evil 'leviathan' from the abyss of Earth's oceans --- a 'bronze dragon' named Tiamat. Tiamat knew that President Trump ordered the U.S. Navy to park its secret nuclear submarine (the SRX-99) outside the shores of North Korea (in case there were any nuclear threats undermining key commercial efficiency between America and smooth democratic-trading partner South Korea!). Snake-Eyes cut Tiamat's throat and drove the dragon away before it destroyed South Korea and then rescued Mara and took her back to America where he married her. President Trump declared the entire ordeal a complete 'Dream-Warrior Triumph.'
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Cheers,
====
American paramilitary-crusaders known as 'G.I. Joes' were vying with a super-terrorist organization known as 'Cobra' which was currently allied to ISIS. The G.I. Joe ninja 'Snake-Eyes' was on a personal mission to rescue his dream-lover Mara (an undersea nymph) from Cobra's underwater fortress in the Pacific. Snake-Eyes was infatuated with Mara and was enraged that Cobra was using her hostage-status as a bargaining-chip. President Trump suggested to Snake-Eyes that rescuing Mara from Cobra would uplift the morale of all Americans.
No one knew Snake-Eyes was actually the mystical ale-mascot (avatar) 'Pumpkinhead' for the Shipyard ale company. Snake-Eyes knew that Mara was the secret ale-muse (avatar) for St. Pauli's Girl Beer company. It was a big darkside secret that Mara really was the St. Pauli's girl! Snake-Eyes reasoned that Cobra wanted to hijack consumerism-culture by demoralizing Americans with the social loss of the magical and beautiful blue-skinned Mara (aka, 'the St. Pauli's girl'). Snake-Eyes (aka, 'Pumpkinhead') knew he had to rescue Mara to save the autumn harvest.
Cobra Commander realized that keeping Mara as a prisoner would thwart the Trump Administration's plan to use commerce to catalyze peace-promoting commercial relations with the European Union and therefore with other vital trade partners such as South Korea (now that nuclear North Korea was threatening the world with its nefarious weapons-testing!). Cobra Commander was a vile fascist and wanted to use ISIS to plot a secret global terrorism plot involving North Korea, nuclear weapons, and also chemical weapons (on Halloween Eve in Washington, D.C.!).
All of this geo-political 'insanity' had released an evil 'leviathan' from the abyss of Earth's oceans --- a 'bronze dragon' named Tiamat. Tiamat knew that President Trump ordered the U.S. Navy to park its secret nuclear submarine (the SRX-99) outside the shores of North Korea (in case there were any nuclear threats undermining key commercial efficiency between America and smooth democratic-trading partner South Korea!). Snake-Eyes cut Tiamat's throat and drove the dragon away before it destroyed South Korea and then rescued Mara and took her back to America where he married her. President Trump declared the entire ordeal a complete 'Dream-Warrior Triumph.'
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