Liberal use of language: A glossary

[Stephanie]

By RACHEL MARSDEN

:teeth:
Officials of that great bastion of liberalism -- the European Union -- reportedly want to replace the term "Islamic terrorism" with "terrorists who abusively invoke Islam." According to the EU Observer, other terms under review include "jihad," "Islamist," and "fundamentalist,"

It's hardly the first time that liberals have taken the English language and made it their own. Here's my handy glossary of commonly used leftist terms, and what they really mean:

Social justice: Spreading the misery of socialism equally throughout society.

Enlightened: A person who refuses to accept that socialism has failed everywhere it has been tried.

Journalist: A news person who, under the guise of objectivity, slants coverage to the left.

Hack: Any media member who introduces a right-wing viewpoint into a political discussion.

Balance: Left vs. far-left (e.g., Hillary Clinton debating Ted Kennedy).

Environmentalists: Celebrities who brag about their environmentally friendly hybrid cars while tooling around the world in gas-guzzling private jets. Liberals who can't afford a car also use this label so they don't appear pathetic to friends.

Filmmaker: Anyone who cranks out anti-Bush propaganda, like Michael Moore.

CBC: Like Michael Moore, only more bloated.

Propagandist: Mel Gibson, because he made a movie about Jesus.

Freedom fighters: Terrorists whose goal is to destroy Western democracy.

Terrorist: George Bush, or anyone who wants to harm "freedom fighters."

Feminist: A woman who constantly points out how hard it is to get things done, because of men.

Anti-feminist: A woman who just gets things done, without the whining.

Multiculturalism: The belief that traditional Canadian values aren't enough to make our country great.

Affirmative action: Liberal-sanctioned racism and sexism.

Quagmire: Any struggle that lasts longer than it takes for a liberal to down a Starbucks latte.

War: A quagmire to be avoided at all costs, unless it's for the purpose of fighting poverty or homelessness -- in which case no victory or end is ever necessary.

God: Pierre Trudeau.

The Resurrection: Justin Trudeau leading the Liberal Party's new youth task force.

Higher education: Four or more years spent napping on desks while listening to leftist brainwashing.

Hidden agenda: Conservative ideas that are likely to prove more popular than liberal ones.

Torture: Frat-party activities that occur on foreign soil, in the presence of U.S. military personnel. Murder, rape and violence perpetrated by communist regimes don't count.

United Nations: Impotent, glorified debating club in which defenders of freedom and democracy foot the bill to entertain the musings of dictators and thugs.

Bush lied: A catch-all that means, "I have no idea how to debate this issue intelligently."

http://www.torontosun.com/News/Columnists/Marsden_Rachel/2006/04/21/1543303.html

 

[fuzzykitten99]

Someone should truly publish something like this. Like a guide to liberal-minded thinking. Seems like the only way to get the point of anything across to them is to use liberal-logic (which is an oxymoron, i know...) and liberal-speak.

Stephanie...thought you'd like this one...kinda fits with yours.

Democrats Version of Tax Cuts
Right-click here and save this to your computer.

If you don't understand the Democrats' version of tax cuts (and you are not alone), this will explain it for you:

50,000 people go to a baseball game, but the game was rained out. A refund was then due. The team was about to mail refunds when the Congressional Democrats stopped them and suggested that they send out refund amounts based on the Democrat National Committee's interpretation of fairness.

After all, if the refunds were made based on the price each person paid for the tickets, most of the money would go to the wealthiest ticket holders. That would be unconscionable. The DNC plan says:

People in the $10 seats will get back $15, because they have less money to spend. Call it an "Earned" Income Ticket Credit". Persons "earn" it by demonstrating little ambition, few skills and poor work habits, thus keeping them at entry-level wages.

People in the $25 seats will get back $25, because that's only fair.

People in the $50 seats will get back $1, because they already make a lot of money and don't need a refund. If they can afford a $50 ticket, then they must not be paying enough taxes.

People in the $75 luxury seats will have to pay another $50, because they have way too much to spend.

The people driving by the stadium who couldn't afford to watch the game will get $10 each, even though they didn't pay anything in, because they need the most help.

Now do you understand? If not, contact Representative Richard Gephart or Senator Tom Daschle for assistance.


But if you want to be a GOOD Democrat, there are some prerequisites you
must have first. Compare the below and see how you rate.

1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S.nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.

8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians start wars.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

Vote Democratic... It's easier than getting a job.
http://www.92kqrs.com/listingsEntry.asp?ID=44242&PT=Bits+&+Audio

 

[Nuc]

How about "Liberals are the only ones who deny that Canada is the 51st state"?

Or is it conservatives? I forget.