- Apr 11, 2023
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Now seems like a good time to remind everyone of Ken's Seven Laws of Conspiracy Theory Plausibility.
1. Does your conspiracy theory require that more than two people keep a secret? If the answer is yes, then your conspiracy theory is dumb.
2. Does your conspiracy theory involve a group of liberals working together in a coherent and coordinated fashion towards a common goal? If the answer is yes, then your conspiracy theory is dumb. Have you ever actually known any liberals?
3. Does your conspiracy theory require any corporation to participate in a plan that won't show a clear positive impact on their next quarterly earnings statement? If the answer is yes, then your conspiracy theory is dumb. Also, you should probably brush up on how corporate governance works.
4. Does your conspiracy theory require a large number of pigheaded, idealistic journalists who will obediently adhere to a pre-determined agenda? If the answer is yes, then your conspiracy theory is dumb. Also, you don't know anything about how the media works.
5. Does your conspiracy theory require a large number of pigheaded, idealistic scientists to lie, falsify data, and meekly go along with the crowd? If the answer is yes, then your conspiracy theory is dumb. Also, you don't know anything about how science works.
6. Does your conspiracy theory involve Bill Gates, the Illuminati, George Soros, the Elders of Zion, Freemasons, QAnon, Antifa, Space Lizards or a Flat Earth? If the answer is yes, then your conspiracy theory is really dumb.
7. Does the person who told you about this conspiracy theory make all or a significant portion of their income from telling you about it, via YouTube videos, books or websites? If the answer is yes, then your conspiracy theory is not necessarily dumb. But it's probably dumb.
In other words, if you subscribe to any or all or some of the above, you are dumb.
1. Does your conspiracy theory require that more than two people keep a secret? If the answer is yes, then your conspiracy theory is dumb.
2. Does your conspiracy theory involve a group of liberals working together in a coherent and coordinated fashion towards a common goal? If the answer is yes, then your conspiracy theory is dumb. Have you ever actually known any liberals?
3. Does your conspiracy theory require any corporation to participate in a plan that won't show a clear positive impact on their next quarterly earnings statement? If the answer is yes, then your conspiracy theory is dumb. Also, you should probably brush up on how corporate governance works.
4. Does your conspiracy theory require a large number of pigheaded, idealistic journalists who will obediently adhere to a pre-determined agenda? If the answer is yes, then your conspiracy theory is dumb. Also, you don't know anything about how the media works.
5. Does your conspiracy theory require a large number of pigheaded, idealistic scientists to lie, falsify data, and meekly go along with the crowd? If the answer is yes, then your conspiracy theory is dumb. Also, you don't know anything about how science works.
6. Does your conspiracy theory involve Bill Gates, the Illuminati, George Soros, the Elders of Zion, Freemasons, QAnon, Antifa, Space Lizards or a Flat Earth? If the answer is yes, then your conspiracy theory is really dumb.
7. Does the person who told you about this conspiracy theory make all or a significant portion of their income from telling you about it, via YouTube videos, books or websites? If the answer is yes, then your conspiracy theory is not necessarily dumb. But it's probably dumb.
In other words, if you subscribe to any or all or some of the above, you are dumb.