DrLove
Diamond Member
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Responding to speculation that Democrats might seek to expand the size of the Supreme Court, Brett Kavanaugh warned that doing so would require an increased number of kegs.
Kavanaugh expressed concern that increasing the number of Supreme Court Justices without acquiring additional kegs might result in a “replay of the regrettable Beach Week incident.”
“One time during Beach Week, I was throwing this rad party with P.J. and Squee,” he said. “Out of nowhere, Tobin shows up and brings four of his friends.”
“Well, that would have been fine if Tobin’s friends drank a normal amount, but those dudes liked to party,” he said. “It was a classic Tobin move.”
Kavanaugh said that expanding the size of the Court without a commensurate increase in kegs would set “a very dangerous precedent.”
“If the new Justices are anything like Tobin’s buds, the situation will be heinous,” he said.
Kavanaugh Warns That Expanding Size of Supreme Court Would Require More Kegs
Kavanaugh expressed concern that increasing the number of Justices without acquiring additional kegs might result in a “replay of the regrettable Beach Week incident.”
