Votto
Diamond Member
- Oct 31, 2012
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Washington DC - President Joe Biden today decided to write a historic 1500 pardons for felons all across the United States. Never before has a President pardoned so many felons in US history. "Today, I am releasing 1500 prisoners from jail", said Joe Biden. "These folks all committed nonviolent felonies like my son Hunter, or like my cousin Frank Wilson who also failed to follow our silly gun laws, and my half cousin Janet Johnson who also broke our half-retarded gun laws, not once, but twice cuz she was hitting the crystal meth pipe once too many times while filing for a gun application." But when asked why he had chosen to only grant pardons for relatives of the Biden family, Joe Biden got defensive. "Folks, listen up", Joe Biden then began to whisper, "These are distant relatives, not like my son Hunter, OK? Besides, all of us distant realitives in some form or fashion.............well..............anyway..............."
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