Lol...do you like oysters?
Pan fried oysters:
1 jar raw oysters (small or medium)
oil
flour or bread crumbs or panko coating mix
salt/pepper
Italian seasoning
Lemon (or lemon juice)
Open the oysters, drain off the liquid. Heat pan till it's hot, add oil, quite a bit, at least 1/4", up to 1/2", heat it up till it's pretty hot (but not smoking insanely)
The breading is easy; if you use panko, just get a dish and don't put anything else in it except the breading (and maybe italian seasoning...). If you use bread crumbs or flour, mix salt, pepper, italian seasoning..I like to add parmesan cheese to it, too, but that's up to you.
Drop an oyster in, then sort of smash it down into the breading with the back of a fork...turn it over and do it again. I like to sort of flatten the thickest part of it. It will sort of split and goosh a little, that's okay.
Drop it into the pan, do that with each of the oysters until you have a pan full.
Just cook till lightly browned, turn and cook the other side...they're done. It doesn't take long, you don't need eggs.
Serve with lemon, cocktail sause, tartar sauce, whatever you like.
We use the leftover cold ones to make oyster sandwiches, yum yum.