I Was A Cable Guy. I Saw The Worst Of America.

Synthaholic

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Jul 21, 2010
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Wild article. From 3 years ago, but that doesn't matter. I now have a lot more empathy for Cable Guys.



I Was A Cable Guy. I Saw The Worst Of America.

I canā€™t tell you about a specific day as a cable tech. I canā€™t tell you my first customer was a cat hoarder. I can tell you the details, sure. That I smeared Vicks on my lip to try to cover the stench of rugs and walls and upholstery soaked in cat piss. That I wore booties, not to protect the carpets from the mud on my boots but to keep the cat piss off my soles. I can tell you the problem with her cable service was that her cats chewed through the wiring. That I had to move a mummified cat behind the television to replace the jumper. That ammonia seeped into the polyester fibers of my itchy blue uniform, clung to the sweat in my hair. That the smell stuck to me through the next job.

But what was the next job? This is the stuff I canā€™t remember ā€” how a particular day unfolded. Maybe the next job was the Great Falls, Virginia, housewife who answered the door in some black skimpy thing I never really saw because I work very hard at eye contact when faced with out-of-context nudity. She was expecting a man. Iā€™m a 6-foot lesbian. If I showed up at your door in a uniform with my hair cut in whatā€™s known to barbers as the International Lesbian Option No. 2, you might mistake me for a man. Everyone does. She was rare in that she realized Iā€™m a woman. We laughed about it. She found a robe while I replaced her cable box. She asked if I needed to use a bathroom, and I loved her.

For 10 years, I worked as a cable tech in the Virginia suburbs of Washington, D.C. Those 10 years, the apartments, the McMansions, the customers, the bugs and snakes, the telephone poles, the traffic, the cold and heat and rain, have blurred together in my mind. Even then, I wouldnā€™t remember a job from the day before unless there was something remarkable about it. Remarkable is subjective and changes with every day spent witnessing what people who work in offices will never see ā€” their co-workers at home during the weekday, the American id in its underpants, wondering if it remembered to delete the browsing history.

Mostly all I remember is needing to pee.

More at the link.
 
This is partly why I spent 20+ years building the systems and 0 years doing installs and tech work at customer's homes.
 
When I did in home care nursing, one family had welded dadā€™s metal bedpan to the antenna on the roof of their trailer to get better tv reception.
Gee whiz.....hopefully it was a bed pan that was no longer needed for its original purpose.

God bless you always!!!

Holly
 
A cable guy thinks that a mummified cat is "the worst of America"? Try visiting some of those illegal alien encampments along the border. A cat wouldn't last a day before it was butchered and on a spit. Funny how smarmy cable guys are reluctant to judge the filth that enters our Country daily but they condemn some poor old lady who lives with cat piss.
 
These days "cable guy" is a dying occupation as people shift to internet viewing.

Pretty soon conventional cable will be done entirely. Most likely to repalce it? Paid service via the web? Over-the-air free (antenna) TV?

Most likely? Given Xiden's remaining term perhaps a mandatory government channel piped into every American home providing all the information the dictatorship feels you are allowed to know! But it'll be popular for two reasons:

1. It'll be FREE
2. If you don't watch it your children will be taken into "care". --for their own protection.
 
These days "cable guy" is a dying occupation as people shift to internet viewing.

Pretty soon conventional cable will be done entirely. Most likely to repalce it? Paid service via the web? Over-the-air free (antenna) TV?

Most likely? Given Xiden's remaining term perhaps a mandatory government channel piped into every American home providing all the information the dictatorship feels you are allowed to know! But it'll be popular for two reasons:

1. It'll be FREE
2. If you don't watch it your children will be taken into "care". --for their own protection.

It is not a dying occupation. The internet comes over the same sort of wiring that the cable does. And the installation requires that the modem be setup for each individual home.
 
A cable guy thinks that a mummified cat is "the worst of America"? Try visiting some of those illegal alien encampments along the border. A cat wouldn't last a day before it was butchered and on a spit. Funny how smarmy cable guys are reluctant to judge the filth that enters our Country daily but they condemn some poor old lady who lives with cat piss.

The cable guys sees what he sees. The fact that he does not mention the illegal alien encampments only means that the topic has nothing to do with the illegal alien encampments. I am sure the homeless encampments are nasty too. But, like the illegal alien encampments, that is not the topic at hand.
 
It is not a dying occupation. The internet comes over the same sort of wiring that the cable does. And the installation requires that the modem be setup for each individual home.
You are correct however in this area most people confronted by the termination of conventional cable and the price structure for the internet version is such that they are choosing to cut the cord entirely. Antenna sales are booming; dishes are sprouting like mushrooms. In the past two weeks I've run tests for four neighbors and, in every case, was able to set them up with indoor simple antennas for under $15 in parts. True that they don't get 100 channels but each of them said they primarily use CBS, PBS and occasionally NBC. All of them already have internet in the home - typically a faster, more expensive service than the actually need. I've also showed them how to use devices like ROKU which gives them access to a huge amount of free-to-them content and the few "pay" providers (like NetFlix; BritBox; as well as Amazon's Prime - in which all were already "members".

They're also becoming aware of landline alternatives like Ooma (VOIP) and various low-cost celluar providers. True, when they "break the bundle" and retain standalone internet their savings are big but not huge. Still, in one case a neighbor saw his communication cost drop to $99.99 from the previous $270/month.

Ex "cable guys" might find decent incomes through shifting to setting up non-cable company internet program content systems and simple indoor antenna systems. I do it for neighbors at no cost if they buy the equipment my quick tests show what they need. But not from me. I don't sell anything. These days Amazon, Walmart, Home Depot and Lowe's stock a variety at decent prices. That one family whose cost reduction i spoke of above purchased equipment totaling $41 - a one-time expense to save $170.01 per month.

Unfortunately too many will buy expensive satellite based systems packaged with a hundred or more channels they don't want and will never use in order to see the half-dozen they actually do watch.
 
You are correct however in this area most people confronted by the termination of conventional cable and the price structure for the internet version is such that they are choosing to cut the cord entirely. Antenna sales are booming; dishes are sprouting like mushrooms. In the past two weeks I've run tests for four neighbors and, in every case, was able to set them up with indoor simple antennas for under $15 in parts. True that they don't get 100 channels but each of them said they primarily use CBS, PBS and occasionally NBC. All of them already have internet in the home - typically a faster, more expensive service than the actually need. I've also showed them how to use devices like ROKU which gives them access to a huge amount of free-to-them content and the few "pay" providers (like NetFlix; BritBox; as well as Amazon's Prime - in which all were already "members".

They're also becoming aware of landline alternatives like Ooma (VOIP) and various low-cost celluar providers. True, when they "break the bundle" and retain standalone internet their savings are big but not huge. Still, in one case a neighbor saw his communication cost drop to $99.99 from the previous $270/month.

Ex "cable guys" might find decent incomes through shifting to setting up non-cable company internet program content systems and simple indoor antenna systems. I do it for neighbors at no cost if they buy the equipment my quick tests show what they need. But not from me. I don't sell anything. These days Amazon, Walmart, Home Depot and Lowe's stock a variety at decent prices. That one family whose cost reduction i spoke of above purchased equipment totaling $41 - a one-time expense to save $170.01 per month.

Unfortunately too many will buy expensive satellite based systems packaged with a hundred or more channels they don't want and will never use in order to see the half-dozen they actually do watch.
I am not sure what you are getting at here. I think Winter's point, and if not then one I will make, is that the cable companies provide the internet that those other options use to get into your home. There are alternatives, there have always been alternatives, but the vast majority of internet is provided by the cable company. Companies like Comcast provide internet to almost every single customer within their service area because those other alternatives are, for the most part, garbage in comparison with the reliability and speed you can get with your cable. And the dirty little secret is that those companies are purposefully throttling connection speed, there is a LOT more capability in the lines without any more expense required at all, because they know they can just bump speeds up when their competition manages to squeeze out some more speed from their technology.

Maybe 5g or Starlink will break that monopoly but until then, the cable guy is not going anywhere. Even if all television ended tomorrow, the cable guy will still be setting up your internet connection.
 
The thing to note is that what started as "Cable Companies" - offspring of CATV (Community Antenna TeleVision) providers morphed into deliverers of programming having nothing to do with terrestrial television stations. Things which they bundled into hugely expensive packages. Then came internet and, for many, VOIP (though at exhorbitant prices). As internet providers most also provided "included" email applications. These days many are dropping the email applications - sending people to things like g-mail and the bastard child of what was Hotmail.com. They're also dumping conventional means of TV delivery in favor of a different form of service which requires changing out equipment and making new program package (cost) decisions. I can't speak for all internet TV providers but in all four nearby cities where the change has occurred the results are not good. Customers have to take their "old" cable boxes to provider storefronts and pick up new boxes which come with instructions first written in Chinese then translated to Hindi and finally to English. Once (if) successfully installed most discover halting "bufferihng" and are told they have to migrate to a master data rate with a higher cap. In many cases something they're told "will be coming to your area later this year". If in your area it's going well enjoy it. Were you paying attention? Locally the internet providers are NOT sending people to change out and set up converter boxes. Not even for a fee. The few remaining "cable guys" they haven't terminated are used exclusively for new installations and system maintenance.
 
Maybe 5g or Starlink will break that monopoly but until then, the cable guy is not going anywhere. Even if all television ended tomorrow, the cable guy will still be setting up your internet connection.
I don't know. I have T-Mobile home internet, which is just like the internet you get on your phone, from a satellite. No cable, no wires just a box that sits in front of the TV. It has a couple of lan ports. One goes to my Roku, the other goes to my Netgear router. Plus there is a router built into the T-Mobile box, but it doesn't have great range.
 

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