How to Deal with the Family Criminal?...

[Anathema]

I got word from my mother this evening that the Black Sheep of our family (my father's youngest brother) will likely be getting out of prison next April.

If so, he will have served 8 years of a 15 year sentence for multiple Child Endangerment and Invasion of Privacy charges he plead guilty to in 2009. These were related to a home photography business he ran. He will have to register as a sex offender and will be on lifetime parole.

Some of you know that my wife was raped and sexually assaulted on multiple occasions as a pre-teen. She still suffers the PTSD effects of those incidents even after nearly a decade of counseling (she repressed the memories for over a decade).

Assuming my uncle is released, there is a very high probability that he will be at certain family events that my wife and I also attend.

My wife has made it extremely clear that she wants nothing to do with him. I agree and feel the same way. However, my mother has made it very clear that she wants and expects me (not my wife) to at least be cordial to him at these events. I'd rather simply avoid him completely. If for no other reason than keeping me from causing a scene when I kick his ass.

What do you folks think? Any advice or suggestions on how to handle this sort of situation?

 

[Onyx]

Just treat him with civility and forget the bullshit.

If a situation develops, it would be because you created it.

 

[Pumpkin Row]

Avoid him like airborne herpes. If he goes out of his way to speak to you, you don't have to outright say it for him to know that you want to cave his skull in. Your attitude can say it without words.

 

[Onyx]

If he goes out of his way to speak to you, you don't have to outright say it for him to know that you want to cave his skull in. Your attitude can say it without words.

Could we stop with the suburban savagery?

Anathema was not slighted and he is not a victim. He is acting like one.

 

[Pumpkin Row]

If he goes out of his way to speak to you, you don't have to outright say it for him to know that you want to cave his skull in. Your attitude can say it without words.

Could we stop with the suburban savagery?

Anathema was not slighted and he is not a victim. He is acting like one.

Someone doesn't have to wrong you specifically to be a piece of trash.

 

[Onyx]

Someone doesn't have to wrong you specifically to be a piece of trash.

It does make you annoyingly judgmental. Society needs less self righteous crusaders.

The person in reference is not Earl Bradley. The weight the OP assigns to the word criminal is silly as hell.

 

[westwall]

I got word from my mother this evening that the Black Sheep of our family (my father's youngest brother) will likely be getting out of prison next April.

If so, he will have served 8 years of a 15 year sentence for multiple Child Endangerment and Invasion of Privacy charges he plead guilty to in 2009. These were related to a home photography business he ran. He will have to register as a sex offender and will be on lifetime parole.

Some of you know that my wife was raped and sexually assaulted on multiple occasions as a pre-teen. She still suffers the PTSD effects of those incidents even after nearly a decade of counseling (she repressed the memories for over a decade).

Assuming my uncle is released, there is a very high probability that he will be at certain family events that my wife and I also attend.

My wife has made it extremely clear that she wants nothing to do with him. I agree and feel the same way. However, my mother has made it very clear that she wants and expects me (not my wife) to at least be cordial to him at these events. I'd rather simply avoid him completely. If for no other reason than keeping me from causing a scene when I kick his ass.

What do you folks think? Any advice or suggestions on how to handle this sort of situation?

Any function he attends I simply would not. He's a pariah and he will do nothing but harm to your family.

 

[Billy_Kinetta]

I got word from my mother this evening that the Black Sheep of our family (my father's youngest brother) will likely be getting out of prison next April.

If so, he will have served 8 years of a 15 year sentence for multiple Child Endangerment and Invasion of Privacy charges he plead guilty to in 2009. These were related to a home photography business he ran. He will have to register as a sex offender and will be on lifetime parole.

Some of you know that my wife was raped and sexually assaulted on multiple occasions as a pre-teen. She still suffers the PTSD effects of those incidents even after nearly a decade of counseling (she repressed the memories for over a decade).

Assuming my uncle is released, there is a very high probability that he will be at certain family events that my wife and I also attend.

My wife has made it extremely clear that she wants nothing to do with him. I agree and feel the same way. However, my mother has made it very clear that she wants and expects me (not my wife) to at least be cordial to him at these events. I'd rather simply avoid him completely. If for no other reason than keeping me from causing a scene when I kick his ass.

What do you folks think? Any advice or suggestions on how to handle this sort of situation?

I would tell your Mom to enjoy his company, that you will not be in attendance.

 

[Onyx]

Any function he attends I simply would not. He's a pariah and he will do nothing but harm to your family.

He is only a pariah when you have self righteous crusaders acting like they are any better.

This guys crimes all seem like they should be misdemeanors.

 

[Onyx]

I would tell your Mom to enjoy his company, that you will not be in attendance.

So stay 5000 feet away from any convicted criminals?

Tell me what I am not understanding. A man goes to jail and he suddenly becomes equated to a child killing satanist?

 

[Pumpkin Row]

Someone doesn't have to wrong you specifically to be a piece of trash.

It does make you annoyingly judgmental. Society needs less self righteous crusaders.

The person in reference is not Earl Bradley. The weight the OP assigns to the word criminal is silly as hell.

As far as you know. In his position, I'd shun the guy, too.

 

[Billy_Kinetta]

I would tell your Mom to enjoy his company, that you will not be in attendance.

So stay 5000 feet away from any convicted criminals?

Tell me what I am not understanding. A man goes to jail and he suddenly becomes equated to a child killing satanist?

Try reading the OP.

 

[Onyx]

As far as you know. In his position, I'd shun the guy, too.

So you block off all communication with anybody that has been locked up by the Federal Government?

Not only that, but you judge them as bad people for that simple fact alone? Create drama and silliness to establish a pariah which does not need to exist?

 

[Onyx]

Try reading the OP.

I did.

What did I miss in the OP?

 

[Pumpkin Row]

As far as you know. In his position, I'd shun the guy, too.

So you block off all communication with anybody that has been locked up by the Federal Government?

Not only that, but you judge him as a bad person for that simple fact alone? Create drama and silliness to establish a pariah which does need to exist?

It's not drama if you avoid them, and show you prefer not to deal with them.

 

[Onyx]

It's not drama if you avoid them, and show you prefer not to deal with them.

It is definitely drama.

Everything being advocated for is using overt drama to create a black sheep which does not need to exist. It is not only silly, but quite cruel as well.

 

[Pumpkin Row]

It's not drama if you avoid them, and show you prefer not to deal with them.

It is definitely drama.

Everything being advocated for is using overt drama to create a black sheep which does not need to exist. It is not only silly, but quite cruel as well.

Serves him right for what he did.

 

[Onyx]

Serves him right for what he did.

What he did?

So you never once invaded anybodies privacy? Never peeked through a diary or perved on anybody? Do you believe that behavior warrants being exiled and punished by your own family members?

Or were you referring to child endangerment? You better believe there is not a single parent who has not been reckless around their child

 

[westwall]

Any function he attends I simply would not. He's a pariah and he will do nothing but harm to your family.

He is only a pariah when you have self righteous crusaders acting like they are any better.

This guys crimes all seem like they should be misdemeanors.

Wrong. Any contact with him will be a constant source of irritation to the wife. The dude's a pedophile. They have a 100% recidivism rate.

 

[Onyx]

This thread represents the same error in the honor systems in Eastern countries.

The amount of drama the offended party instigates is always a lot worse than the conjectural disgrace brought against them.