How do you build REAL self-esteem?

[Darkwind]

We gain confidence by doing. It is a fundamental truth of life.

If you are a helicopter parent, pay attention to how it's really done.

Oops....

Try this one.

Okay.

Never mind. LOL

 

[Anomalism]

In my experience, real self-esteem comes from living your life in a way that you're actually proud of.

 

[Lockback]

Discipline.
Doing the right thing when nobody's watching.

 

[Darkwind]

Man, you guys should have seen. LOL

Oh well.

 

[my2¢]

Being generous and helping others.

 

[MarathonMike]

But what about kids with no self esteem? That seems to be a very serious problem these days.

 

[Darkwind]

But what about kids with no self esteem? That seems to be a very serious problem these days.

??

The problem, from where I'm sitting, is the exact opposite. Kids today have far too much false self-esteem.

 

[Lockback]

??

The problem, from where I'm sitting, is the exact opposite. Kids today have far too much false self-esteem.

Well, that's a good point.

 

[Seymour Flops]

The first step for me would be to drop the term "self-esteem" and replace it with "self-respect."

"Self-esteem" was first used as a substitute for "self-respect," by the same people who brought you no spanking kids, permissive parenting and participation trophies.

The idea of self-esteem is for someone else to be responsible to instill it in you, for anyone but yourself to take charge of your feelings.

Self-respect, as with any other kind of respect, is earned. When people earn respect, they rarely fail to get it, be it from others whose respect they have earned, or from themselves having earned their own respect.

 

[MarathonMike]

??

The problem, from where I'm sitting, is the exact opposite. Kids today have far too much false self-esteem.

I don't think so. Young girls for the most part think they have to look like Sydney Sweeney or they are a failure. Many young men suffer from social isolation, drug use, gambling etc. all associated with poor self esteem.

 

[1srelluc]

The first step for me would be to drop the term "self-esteem" and replace it with "self-respect."

"Self-esteem" was first used as a substitute for "self-respect," by the same people who brought you no spanking kids, permissive parenting and participation trophies.

The idea of self-esteem is for someone else to be responsible to instill it in you, for anyone but yourself to take charge of your feelings.

Self-respect, as with any other kind of respect, is earned. When people earn respect, they rarely fail to get it, be it from others whose respect they have earned, or from themselves having earned their own respect.

Damn! That was the first thing that crossed my mind....Well, a much shorter version.

I have better things to occupy my time than to heap empty platitudes on the self-described worthless.

 

[LibertyWeeps]

We gain confidence by doing. It is a fundamental truth of life.

If you are a helicopter parent, pay attention to how it's really done.

Oops....

Try this one.

Okay.

Never mind. LOL

 

[luiza]

How do you build REAL self-esteem?​

Mix with doddery old people , fools and clowns -- my sole reason for being here .

I had very average self esteem until I met the likes of IQ-2.0, de Crappy , Turdy Tommy etc etc
Full list of 63 others available

 

[SweetSue92]

But what about kids with no self esteem? That seems to be a very serious problem these days.

Yes, but not because we don't compliment them enough, or "help them succeed".

It's because we don't encourage them to do hard things; in some cases, really hard things that require tenacity, resilience, failure, and success through failure. That builds all the good things.

Instead we praise them (empty praise) for any old little effort. And well....we see the mess we're in.

 

[Ava]

Set high standards for yourself and live up to them. Don't betray yourself by violating them. Live life on your terms without compromising your values. This sustains earned self-esteem, or self-respect, as you would discern it.

 

[Darkwind]

Yeah, I couldn't get the damn video to play. Sorry.

It was a father with a disabled child in a walker, and he was doing a great job of getting the boy to actually go down off a curb. When he managed to do it, the father praised him by asking him how did he manage that and the kids understood the lesson.

Reinforced by action and due praise is the correct way to teach self-esteem. In My opinion.

lk

 

[MarathonMike]

Damn! That was the first thing that crossed my mind....Well, a much shorter version.

I have better things to occupy my time than to heap empty platitudes on the self-described worthless.

You might peer outside your comfort zone every once in awhile and recognize there are many people young, middle aged and old who are struggling mentally and financially.

 

[Darkwind]

Yes, but not because we don't compliment them enough, or "help them succeed".

It's because we don't encourage them to do hard things; in some cases, really hard things that require tenacity, resilience, failure, and success through failure. That builds all the good things.

Instead we praise them (empty praise) for any old little effort. And well....we see the mess we're in.

It helps if they are a bit daunted by the task too. Because then, when they finally overcome the obstacle, they know, deep in their heart, that they can. And if they can do that, maybe they can do the other hard things.

 

[Unkotare]

But what about kids with no self esteem? That seems to be a very serious problem these days.

When kids bring things up for themselves, they develop self-esteem.

 

[Captain Creeper]

Bang tons of women!!