- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
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Does media-culture in the modern world and America make you feel excited about magazine-imagination?
This crime-metaphysics yarn was inspired by Last Action Hero.
Cheers,
====
As the heroic webbed-wonder Spider-Man soared around New York City on 9/11, making sure that terrorists/criminals did not take advantage of traffic insecurities on the anniversary of the destruction of the World Trade Center, an artist was busy making a home-made painting of the hero. The artist, Cal Thomas, wanted to cast Spider-Man as the perfect democracy-defender. He wanted Spider-Man to look both accessible and intelligent.
After Cal completed his portrait/painting, he picked up a comic book series featuring two fictional adversaries of Spider-Man, Venom and Hobgoblin. Venom was a menace and brute of pure terror, using his inhuman strength to frighten people about safety and security. Hobgoblin was a fashion-designer named Roderick Kingsley who became a pumpkin-bomb throwing terrorist in an eerie orange-costume. Venom and Hobgoblin weren't real 'beings' and Cal was excited to read these two comic book issues and compare the pedestrian-friendly art in them to his new Spider-Man portrait/painting. After all, Spider-Man comics were made to praise the real-life superhero Spider-Man.
As Cal read his two Spider-Man comics featuring Venom and Hobgoblin, his wife Emily wanted him to attend a special Warner Bros. premiere for a new movie about Spider-Man. Emily had ties to the Hollywood community, while Cal was merely a home-business manager and amateur artist. Cal attended the event with Emily and noticed a strange man who took a photo of him and his wife. The man seemed to be fascinated by some aspect of the new Spider-Man film which felt odd to Cal, so Cal informed the event security-guards of the suspicious appearance of the man. Nevertheless, Cal and Emily enjoyed attending the Warner Bros. premiere.
When Cal got home, he decided to make two child-like silly stick-figure color-pencil doodles of Hobgoblin and Venom and submit them to a local newspaper so readers could appreciate why everyday people and especially kids who loved to doodle adored making home-made artistic renditions of 'Spider-Man's universe.' The stick-figure doodles of Hobgoblin and Venom suggested that Americans appreciated the basic 'friendliness' of this unusual world of superpowers and heroism...and villainy.
Cal's submissions gained notice, and a special Warner Bros. promoter wanted him to have a special advertising-campaign themed pair of wrist-watches (for Cal and Emily). One watch was an orange-colored Apple watch representing the Hobgoblin, while the other was a black-and-gray see-through Swatch watch representing Venom. Cal gave the Hobgoblin watch to his wife and kept the Venom watch for himself. They wore the 'matching watches' at the next Warner Bros. promotional event for the new Spider-Man film the next week. Cal thought fondly of the marketing of movie-and-merchandise related goods, but still felt 'haunted' by the strange man he and Emily encountered at the Warner Bros. Spider-Man movie premiere.
One day, while Cal was walking to the grocery store, that same man approached him and presented him with a very handsome Spider-Man wrist-watch...as a gift. Cal accepted the gift but demanded to know the man's name/identity, but the man simply state, "I'm just a Spider-Man fan!" and departed. Cal continued to wonder what the intentions of this unusual 'Spider-Man fanatic' was. One year passed, and Cal still had the Spider-Man watch the man gave him and wore it often, and his wife Emily noticed it. Cal continued to make home-made portraits/painting of Spider-Man while wearing the watch the strange man gave him.
The man that Cal met was in fact an insane anti-Hollywood terrorist from Algeria named Ben. Ben designed a liquid-nitrogen hand-gun at home and intended to use it to spray freezing ice into the face of a celebrity he intended to stalk. Ben narrowed his 'list' down to Tom Hanks and Tom Cruise, whom he likened to Hobgoblin and Venom. Ben planned to hit one of these two 'celebrity-Toms' on a precocious day or perhaps at a star-studded movie premiere.
Ben then prayed to Satan and asked that the demonic villainous 'spirits' of the fictional Spider-Man adversaries, Hobgoblin and Venom, be brought to life and possess the bodies/minds of Tom Hanks and Tom Cruise. The Devil granted Ben's 'wish' and sent two demons who inhabited/possessed the minds of Hanks and Cruise. The next day, Ben turned on the TV and noticed that Hanks and Cruise agreed to pose together for a celebrity-photo so they could make the following eerie press-statement: "Americans are obsessed with media, because it makes us feel safe from terrorism!" Ben immediately understood that Hanks and Cruise were possessed by the demonic spirits of Hobgoblin and Venom, which is why the two movie-stars were 'motivated' to make a bizarre media-paranoia statement.
Two weeks later, Ben read a new story of a strange masked-man who appeared in the home a movie-star with two more strange masked-individuals, both women, and murdered the movie-star in cold blood. Ben knew that the masked-man was either Tom Hanks or Tom Cruise, demonically-possessed by the underworld spirits of the Hobgoblin and Venom. Ben grabbed his ice-gun and headed out to target Hanks and Cruise after blogging on the Internet, "The murder of the movie-star in his home by the three mysterious masked 'strangers' reveals to society that anti-media terrorism represents new age angst regarding customs-based fashions and trends, which is why I intend to terrorize the movie-stars Tom Hanks and Tom Cruise --- so Americans realize the 'frailty' of media-culture in the modern world; no one is safe."
SPIDER-MAN: Thanks for your nice Spider-Man painting!
CAL: You're welcome. Did you like my Hobgoblin/Venom doodles?
SPIDER-MAN: I sure did; I was anxious about that Internet-blog about Hanks/Cruise.
CAL: Yes, that mysterious fellow Ben seemed to think that Hanks and Cruise are 'possessed.'
SPIDER-MAN: Ben believes the two movie-stars are inhabited by Hobgoblin/Venom spirits!
CAL: I wonder where he got such a strange notion...
SPIDER-MAN: It seems to me Cal that new age media excitement also generates paranoia.
CAL: Where there is great traffic, there comes the 'evil' of terrorism!
SPIDER-MAN: Yes, terrorism is indeed evil, which is why I intend to track Ben.
CAL: He seems intent on stalking Tom Hanks and Tom Cruise.
SPIDER-MAN: If we don't watch Ben closely, he might become the new Unabomber.
CAL: What if Ben is a Satanist who prayed to Satan so Hanks/Cruise would be 'possessed'?
SPIDER-MAN: I suppose Hanks and Cruise did make a very ominous press-statement!
CAL: The world of modern media is so darn eccentric, Spider-Man.
SPIDER-MAN: That's why we need more sane fans/artists such as yourself, Cal.
CAL: I'm thinking of teaching a Yale course this fall semester on comic book art.
SPIDER-MAN: That sounds fascinating; maybe we can find ways to reach out to Ben too.
CAL: We don't want Americans to feel that anti-media angst generates 'tangible evil.'
SPIDER-MAN: God bless America!
====
This crime-metaphysics yarn was inspired by Last Action Hero.
Cheers,
====
As the heroic webbed-wonder Spider-Man soared around New York City on 9/11, making sure that terrorists/criminals did not take advantage of traffic insecurities on the anniversary of the destruction of the World Trade Center, an artist was busy making a home-made painting of the hero. The artist, Cal Thomas, wanted to cast Spider-Man as the perfect democracy-defender. He wanted Spider-Man to look both accessible and intelligent.
After Cal completed his portrait/painting, he picked up a comic book series featuring two fictional adversaries of Spider-Man, Venom and Hobgoblin. Venom was a menace and brute of pure terror, using his inhuman strength to frighten people about safety and security. Hobgoblin was a fashion-designer named Roderick Kingsley who became a pumpkin-bomb throwing terrorist in an eerie orange-costume. Venom and Hobgoblin weren't real 'beings' and Cal was excited to read these two comic book issues and compare the pedestrian-friendly art in them to his new Spider-Man portrait/painting. After all, Spider-Man comics were made to praise the real-life superhero Spider-Man.
As Cal read his two Spider-Man comics featuring Venom and Hobgoblin, his wife Emily wanted him to attend a special Warner Bros. premiere for a new movie about Spider-Man. Emily had ties to the Hollywood community, while Cal was merely a home-business manager and amateur artist. Cal attended the event with Emily and noticed a strange man who took a photo of him and his wife. The man seemed to be fascinated by some aspect of the new Spider-Man film which felt odd to Cal, so Cal informed the event security-guards of the suspicious appearance of the man. Nevertheless, Cal and Emily enjoyed attending the Warner Bros. premiere.
When Cal got home, he decided to make two child-like silly stick-figure color-pencil doodles of Hobgoblin and Venom and submit them to a local newspaper so readers could appreciate why everyday people and especially kids who loved to doodle adored making home-made artistic renditions of 'Spider-Man's universe.' The stick-figure doodles of Hobgoblin and Venom suggested that Americans appreciated the basic 'friendliness' of this unusual world of superpowers and heroism...and villainy.
Cal's submissions gained notice, and a special Warner Bros. promoter wanted him to have a special advertising-campaign themed pair of wrist-watches (for Cal and Emily). One watch was an orange-colored Apple watch representing the Hobgoblin, while the other was a black-and-gray see-through Swatch watch representing Venom. Cal gave the Hobgoblin watch to his wife and kept the Venom watch for himself. They wore the 'matching watches' at the next Warner Bros. promotional event for the new Spider-Man film the next week. Cal thought fondly of the marketing of movie-and-merchandise related goods, but still felt 'haunted' by the strange man he and Emily encountered at the Warner Bros. Spider-Man movie premiere.
One day, while Cal was walking to the grocery store, that same man approached him and presented him with a very handsome Spider-Man wrist-watch...as a gift. Cal accepted the gift but demanded to know the man's name/identity, but the man simply state, "I'm just a Spider-Man fan!" and departed. Cal continued to wonder what the intentions of this unusual 'Spider-Man fanatic' was. One year passed, and Cal still had the Spider-Man watch the man gave him and wore it often, and his wife Emily noticed it. Cal continued to make home-made portraits/painting of Spider-Man while wearing the watch the strange man gave him.
The man that Cal met was in fact an insane anti-Hollywood terrorist from Algeria named Ben. Ben designed a liquid-nitrogen hand-gun at home and intended to use it to spray freezing ice into the face of a celebrity he intended to stalk. Ben narrowed his 'list' down to Tom Hanks and Tom Cruise, whom he likened to Hobgoblin and Venom. Ben planned to hit one of these two 'celebrity-Toms' on a precocious day or perhaps at a star-studded movie premiere.
Ben then prayed to Satan and asked that the demonic villainous 'spirits' of the fictional Spider-Man adversaries, Hobgoblin and Venom, be brought to life and possess the bodies/minds of Tom Hanks and Tom Cruise. The Devil granted Ben's 'wish' and sent two demons who inhabited/possessed the minds of Hanks and Cruise. The next day, Ben turned on the TV and noticed that Hanks and Cruise agreed to pose together for a celebrity-photo so they could make the following eerie press-statement: "Americans are obsessed with media, because it makes us feel safe from terrorism!" Ben immediately understood that Hanks and Cruise were possessed by the demonic spirits of Hobgoblin and Venom, which is why the two movie-stars were 'motivated' to make a bizarre media-paranoia statement.
Two weeks later, Ben read a new story of a strange masked-man who appeared in the home a movie-star with two more strange masked-individuals, both women, and murdered the movie-star in cold blood. Ben knew that the masked-man was either Tom Hanks or Tom Cruise, demonically-possessed by the underworld spirits of the Hobgoblin and Venom. Ben grabbed his ice-gun and headed out to target Hanks and Cruise after blogging on the Internet, "The murder of the movie-star in his home by the three mysterious masked 'strangers' reveals to society that anti-media terrorism represents new age angst regarding customs-based fashions and trends, which is why I intend to terrorize the movie-stars Tom Hanks and Tom Cruise --- so Americans realize the 'frailty' of media-culture in the modern world; no one is safe."
SPIDER-MAN: Thanks for your nice Spider-Man painting!
CAL: You're welcome. Did you like my Hobgoblin/Venom doodles?
SPIDER-MAN: I sure did; I was anxious about that Internet-blog about Hanks/Cruise.
CAL: Yes, that mysterious fellow Ben seemed to think that Hanks and Cruise are 'possessed.'
SPIDER-MAN: Ben believes the two movie-stars are inhabited by Hobgoblin/Venom spirits!
CAL: I wonder where he got such a strange notion...
SPIDER-MAN: It seems to me Cal that new age media excitement also generates paranoia.
CAL: Where there is great traffic, there comes the 'evil' of terrorism!
SPIDER-MAN: Yes, terrorism is indeed evil, which is why I intend to track Ben.
CAL: He seems intent on stalking Tom Hanks and Tom Cruise.
SPIDER-MAN: If we don't watch Ben closely, he might become the new Unabomber.
CAL: What if Ben is a Satanist who prayed to Satan so Hanks/Cruise would be 'possessed'?
SPIDER-MAN: I suppose Hanks and Cruise did make a very ominous press-statement!
CAL: The world of modern media is so darn eccentric, Spider-Man.
SPIDER-MAN: That's why we need more sane fans/artists such as yourself, Cal.
CAL: I'm thinking of teaching a Yale course this fall semester on comic book art.
SPIDER-MAN: That sounds fascinating; maybe we can find ways to reach out to Ben too.
CAL: We don't want Americans to feel that anti-media angst generates 'tangible evil.'
SPIDER-MAN: God bless America!
====
