Healing Painful Memories

[wavingrl]

I've got a few--and noticed in a recent thread a few others have had similar experiences.

eta: I had to delete--never like to have to put 'this' out there in any way.

thanks all.

here's a link--
When Painful Memories Resurface - Receive God's Healing

 

[editec]

Some transgressions might be forgiveable, but forgiveness is something that should be meted out to those who deserve it and who are not likely to commit the same transgressions again.

Living well is still the best revenge though.

 

[eflatminor]

Sounds like you should stop giving a crap what other people think.

Life's tough, get a helmet.

 

[wavingrl]

Some transgressions might be forgiveable, but forgiveness is something that should be meted out to those who deserve it and who are not likely to commit the same transgressions again.

Living well is still the best revenge though.

I keep trying.

The people in my life are conservative southerners, if that really makes any difference.

Church involvement has worked well for many. My family believes in that.

I have faith-which is of course--'different' from the traditional--same beliefs but I guess it is broader, more inclusive of different styles. To some this would be wonderful. Might eventually give the Episcopalians a try--WASP--not certain I would do well if praying to a saint would be an issue requiring 'training'. Methodist family for generations, then I found a Presbyterian church I liked--but changed again--in my area Episcopalians would most likely be ? less restrictive. lol--My father was an Episcopalian but my mother, Methodist had concerns over I don't know what and it doesn't matter to me--the people there are friendly and kind.

At the moment --well, sharing much of my life with others is something that I don't want to do--

~~~
As for meting out forgiveness--the consensus is that they have to try to forgive me and as true as that may be--a lot of forgiving takes place on my end--for reasons that apparently can never be understood?
It is ridiculous. Old school morality--that is 'how it was' decades ago--and some just can't change.

There is almost no way to apologize. Grudges are held--until the end of time?

 

[wavingrl]

Sounds like you should stop giving a crap what other people think.

Life's tough, get a helmet.

My head can take some knocks--but I can't seem to do the same with my heart?

Enmeshed, dysfunctional--issues are confronted--the air is cleared and before you know it we are right back doing what never worked --will never work.

an example--my cousin and her husband were marathon runners--healthy activity, they enjoyed it--now mainly hike. Most families would be thrilled. My family has found ways to shake their heads over this. Or maybe it is something else. Their outlook on life is extremely cautious--the glass is never half full?

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

I think you should go where you are celebrated, Wavingirl. Not where you are tolerated. There is a difference and God wouldn't put you with people who are condemning you over something that should have been dismissed long ago. It is indeed their issue and I don't think you should give them permission to make it yours.

This is what has worked for me. I say to God - God, I cannot forgive these people for what they have done to me but I am willing to allow you to forgive them through me. Then I release it. Everytime it comes back around - I go back to that because he is able to do what I cannot. This does two things. It frees you to have your joy back. It stops the memory dead in its tracks.

Unless these individuals come to you and sincerely apologise to you - you are in no wise required to be restored in relationship with that individual because without repentence there is no reconciliation.

The truth is even while they may apologise and you do forgive them.. it does not mean you should trust them. Alot of people claim to be christians but its the fruit that reveals what kind of tree it is. Forgiveness is free. Trust is earned. Not everyone gets a front row seat to your life. Go where you're celebrated. Your feelings count. - Jeri

 

[Avatar4321]

Full healing only comes through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. And that often takes long discussions with the Lord and working out one's feelings. It usually requires forgiveness. Both for oneself and for others.

No matter the pain though, I know the Lord can heal it. Even if you aren't entirely sure what caused the pain.

You are loved. By people in your life, by many of us here, and most importantly by the Lord.

 

[wavingrl]

I think you should go where you are celebrated, Wavingirl. Not where you are tolerated. There is a difference and God wouldn't put you with people who are condemning you over something that should have been dismissed long ago. It is indeed their issue and I don't think you should give them permission to make it yours.

This is what has worked for me. I say to God - God, I cannot forgive these people for what they have done to me but I am willing to allow you to forgive them through me. Then I release it. Everytime it comes back around - I go back to that because he is able to do what I cannot. This does two things. It frees you to have your joy back. It stops the memory dead in its tracks.

Unless these individuals come to you and sincerely apologise to you - you are in no wise required to be restored in relationship with that individual because without repentence there is no reconciliation.

The truth is even while they may apologise and you do forgive them.. it does not mean you should trust them. Alot of people claim to be christians but its the fruit that reveals what kind of tree it is. Forgiveness is free. Trust is earned. Not everyone gets a front row seat to your life. Go where you're celebrated. Your feelings count. - Jeri

I think I will print out your post and say those exact words to myself over and over again.

That is really all I can do.

~~~
I deleted the OP--just cannot stand to even read the summary of my issues again.
~~~
I cannot even properly quote scripture --allowed this to damage my faith so severely.

But, I can remember --'Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.'

--smacking myself in the head--

and I have a collection of resources--some amount of effort went into that collection.

Fairly certain that I can 'get myself together'.
lol--My mother was employed for 30 years in a theology school. I will never be 'exactly' like her--but I will give it another try.
I basically go with the Beatitudes--will work on 'be merciful'--if others cannot or will not.

Conversations such as this do help.((()))

 

[wavingrl]

Full healing only comes through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. And that often takes long discussions with the Lord and working out one's feelings. It usually requires forgiveness. Both for oneself and for others.

No matter the pain though, I know the Lord can heal it. Even if you aren't entirely sure what caused the pain.

You are loved. By people in your life, by many of us here, and most importantly by the Lord.

I will try even harder.

~~~
In every discussion of 'what is wrong with 'them'/inner city black youths who kill others' I can pretty much guess. The same thing that is wrong with me--multiplied 10,000x--'some will never listen'--I understand that much.

"There go I, but for the Grace of God'--Al Anon--not certain where it originated --fairly certain that was something I heard in Al Anon.

My younger brother is now deceased--he got the worst of the 's'--then came the drugs and then came cancer. And still my family says--'what they say'.

I give eternal thanks that there are those who 'know better' and 'do better'--mentors of all kinds for girls and boys --who, like me, sometimes cannot see through the darkness.

Thanks to all.

 

[Avatar4321]

It's not trying harder. It's letting go.

If i had to rely on how hard i tried, I'd be a neurotic wreck. When we have faith in God, we make real changes in our life. One of those is trusting in God. It's not easy. Trust me. I believe the doctrine without any problem but actually letting go and trusting Christ, that's not easy. It's something I struggle with every day because I want things to be done my way. Or I want to be self sufficient.

That's not saying we don't have to do anything. We just have to remember that no matter what we do, it's Christ that ultimately heals us.

 

[wavingrl]

again, spanx.

~~~(what I tell you 3 x is true--the trinity)

--my mother and I went through 'it' again

--so I put my dog in the car and went to the dog park

--beautiful night--gibbous moon/fall-like--just what I like

--Josh was happy--I was happy--all dogs were happy

--I met someone from my high school class--extremely rare--and that really makes me happy--'We'--are still around--go 'Us'--lol.

--finally found the oldies station I had given up any hope of finding. change--wonderful as it is--if you have a lot to think about and stuff to do--you need to know where to find your music and all that.

--favorite song in the world was playing

-so--assuming that I know anything about Faith--never ever certain--but maybe I do

--according to my Higher Power--'You've got it'--just move on--keep on moving on. 'My yoke is easy...'/I said that and I meant it. Amen.

--now what my 'mission' in life may be--'do a little bit of whatever you 'want' to do'--do not get stuck and do too much. 'Paralysis of analysis'/for some in certain fields--technology for one--they need to really analyze and they can because they have 'that sort of abilities'.
Not good for me.

-'Too much religion or not enough'?

-Faith is simpler. Cannot be explained--and why should it?

--If Steven Hawkings cannot do it--doubtful that any of the rest of us need to be concerned.

--now playing--Ricky Nelson--'But it's all right now--learned my lesson well--you can't please everyone--so I please myself'---the song is 'I went to a Garden Party'--

how difficult can it be?

--my dog is happy and ate his supper--lol--he stares at me --just stares--and Dog is God spelled backwards. 'Come on--just come on--come with Me...'

-I really might write--might write things like that. Easy--fun--work.

 

[The Irish Ram]

Wavingrl, God forgives freely and once and for all. Whether others do or don't is their issue with God. You have no power over that, except to pray that God soften their hearts.

As for where you worship, good luck. Pray for discernment and guidance. You'll end up where you are needed. No one can make that decision for you but God. I can't tithe to the church I was born in, baptized and married in, that my ancestors built over 200 years ago. They tithe to the World Church, soon to become the false prophet's platform. It is very hard to find a church that preaches Christ.

(And no praying to saints, or mothers.) Christ said to pray to the Father through Him.
I would suggest a Bible study group for actual knowledge and understanding, and a church that needs your area of expertise, so as not to forsake the assembly.

As for those memories, they are Satan's delight. You can't change the past, your past is forgiven. And you don't have to give Satan a moment of your future. So simply refuse to accommodate the negative.

Darkness and light cannot exist in the same place at the same time. Darkness flees when Light shows up.
So sing.
God considers praise a sacrifice. Sing your favorite gospel song. The dark thoughts may creep back in, so you may need more than one song, but God will hear you and He promises peace, and He keeps His promises.
You're a child of God. If He's for you who can be against you?

Hebrews 8:12 For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.”

 

[syrenn]

I've got a few--and noticed in a recent thread a few others have had similar experiences.

eta: I had to delete--never like to have to put 'this' out there in any way.

thanks all.

here's a link--
When Painful Memories Resurface - Receive God's Healing

in my opinion, you dont need god to deal with and or overcome painful memories.

 

[wavingrl]

Wavingrl, God forgives freely and once and for all. Whether others do or don't is their issue with God. You have no power over that, except to pray that God soften their hearts.

As for where you worship, good luck. Pray for discernment and guidance. You'll end up where you are needed. No one can make that decision for you but God. I can't tithe to the church I was born in, baptized and married in, that my ancestors built over 200 years ago. They tithe to the World Church, soon to become the false prophet's platform. It is very hard to find a church that preaches Christ.

(And no praying to saints, or mothers.) Christ said to pray to the Father through Him.
I would suggest a Bible study group for actual knowledge and understanding, and a church that needs your area of expertise, so as not to forsake the assembly.

As for those memories, they are Satan's delight. You can't change the past, your past is forgiven. And you don't have to give Satan a moment of your future. So simply refuse to accommodate the negative.

Darkness and light cannot exist in the same place at the same time. Darkness flees when Light shows up.
So sing.
God considers praise a sacrifice. Sing your favorite gospel song. The dark thoughts may creep back in, so you may need more than one song, but God will hear you and He promises peace, and He keeps His promises.
You're a child of God. If He's for you who can be against you?

'The Irish'--i really like them --I can tell you that---and I like others. Universal wisdom. it's around.

(((Irish Ram))) --a piece of the same cloth.

as we all are. mortals.

what you said was really good--oil--it heals.

purge the 's' out--vinegar or whatever happens to be at hand. but get the 's' out. that is Christianity. or go further--life--science--if it is malignant--get it out. And now, I should be offered a PhD--why?


oh, what we have done--mere mortals.

gotta love the irish--pragmatists and whatever. fun loving people--life is meant to be enjoyed.

~~~
anything anyone cares to say 'really helps'--'It' happens--regardless of $ and anything else--what should never happen to anyone 'happens' and it hurts---always hurts.

Greatest person of the 20th/21st century--it is you. 'Cause--the Beatles said--'We all get by with a little help from our friends'. however it was said before---same thing and we will always be able to relate to the Beatles, I hope we will.




'wherever 2 or more are gathered in My name'--It can and will be done.

high five.

 

[wavingrl]

I've got a few--and noticed in a recent thread a few others have had similar experiences.

eta: I had to delete--never like to have to put 'this' out there in any way.

thanks all.

here's a link--
When Painful Memories Resurface - Receive God's Healing

in my opinion, you dont need god to deal with and or overcome painful memories.

it's cultural--I know that.

Science/Religion--Alpha & Omega. i am a critical thinker--and hey--Christ was, too--since he was 'Alpha and Omega'---tell the story--what He did--He left his parents, his family, his community --because He knew He was God.

Now--that will get you into a mental institution.

whoever said--'don't pay any attention to the 's'--Go with God'--you said what needed to be said.

Fortunately--I have a drop of Irish blood---so I am going with that--best thing that I've got.

Now--Elvis--singing 'We Are Caught in a Trap'

get 'it' however you can. or as 'we' say in the South---'Grab it and Growl'.

high five.

long time before the 'Final Curtain'--so 'enjoy'. God says that is Good.

 

[wavingrl]

music--that helps me. and loling and the concept--that 'we all really know' and we are mortals.

Gotta give it to the Irish--as far as I am concerned--u guys--nailed it. life. live it as well as you can--and 'then' -just don't worry about that.

'the best'--not something I can determine.

but today -based on 'what I've got' and 'what works for me'--the Irish---Go Green. Boston Strong.

and I am German/English.

none of that 'stuff' matters.

you can 'bet' that JC was never a pompous ass. take it to the bank. some --certain things 'pissed' him off--and He was a cynic.

unifying song--what would that be---take your pick.

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

Wavingrl, God forgives freely and once and for all. Whether others do or don't is their issue with God. You have no power over that, except to pray that God soften their hearts.

As for where you worship, good luck. Pray for discernment and guidance. You'll end up where you are needed. No one can make that decision for you but God. I can't tithe to the church I was born in, baptized and married in, that my ancestors built over 200 years ago. They tithe to the World Church, soon to become the false prophet's platform. It is very hard to find a church that preaches Christ.

(And no praying to saints, or mothers.) Christ said to pray to the Father through Him.
I would suggest a Bible study group for actual knowledge and understanding, and a church that needs your area of expertise, so as not to forsake the assembly.

As for those memories, they are Satan's delight. You can't change the past, your past is forgiven. And you don't have to give Satan a moment of your future. So simply refuse to accommodate the negative.

Darkness and light cannot exist in the same place at the same time. Darkness flees when Light shows up.
So sing.
God considers praise a sacrifice. Sing your favorite gospel song. The dark thoughts may creep back in, so you may need more than one song, but God will hear you and He promises peace, and He keeps His promises.
You're a child of God. If He's for you who can be against you?

Hebrews 8:12 For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.”

That was a Holy Spirit led answer, Ram. Good for you. You're right. On all accounts.

It reminds me of this song which starts with scripture:

Put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. Oh magnify the Lord! Pray in the spirit and with understanding ... O magnify the Lord! If you sing that song the spirit of heaviness will lift off of you. Guaranteed. Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty. Those whose minds are stayed on the Lord are kept in perfect peace.

The enemy wants to rob of us of our peace. He will use those closest to us to do it. Your greatest weapon is praise. Jehoshaphat defeated an army with praise in II Chronicles 20: 1-29. While he and his people worshiped the Lord - God ambushed his enemy and he and his people were saved.

The scripture - Put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness - is the answer for oppression - and is just as much a cure for oppression as taking 2 aspirin for a headache is. It works.

The key is to overcome these thoughts in your mind - where the battle rages - by praising God when you do not feel like it. You step into the worship by an act of your will - it is indeed a sacrifice as Ram pointed out because in the moment of feeling oppressed and overcome with grief - it isn't something one would naturally do. It takes an act of your will to do it. But once you do? The enemy has to flee. The enemy cannot stay in the presence of the Lord and when you worship you are ushering in the presence of the Lord.

 

[wavingrl]

anger--'sinful' at times but at other times necessary--an energy gets things moving.

a common goal and many styles are needed, many abilities--all kinds of people.

if there is anyone thinking about 'forgetting' Thursday, Sept. 11th--to think of it--sends me into a 'rage'. Never, ever forget--perhaps at this time it is best to consider all the options before proceeding. I thought that was covered during the term of Bush 1--'Wouldn't be prudent'. I am not going to be unduly upset with the current POTUS for a similar approach.

I was satisfied with what Bush2 felt needed to be done. Expensive fiscally and in every other way. Complained about Bush 2 and now more complaining.

Positive that those who served are in any way they can contributing to what needs to be done at home. Keep the guns--but ? what to do about those who should never have access.

Try to stabilize life in every way possible. Those who will never listen--difficult to believe it is always because support of any kind wasn't available. I know the things I have done to get what I need--will never stop.

So many people are doing what they can to make things better. Race--that needs to be reduced to its proper size. Goodwill Industries is a resource for anyone. There are so many charities seeking donations and recycling resources --distributing the wealth.

A new day--not necessary to fight those battles again. jmo.

 

[wavingrl]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0P-DknZRrCk]bells of new york city - josh groban - YouTube[/ame]