- Sep 22, 2013
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This is a media-consciousness parable inspired by L.A. Story and Santa Claus: The Movie.
Cheers (signing 0ff),
====
Americans loved the family value oriented programming featured on the iconic Hallmark Channel which presented movies about neighborhood sleuths, Christmas party magic, children's clubs, and reunited couples. The Hallmark Channel was a modern phenomenon (post-1990s), but it was based in the tradition of Little Orphan Annie and The Today Show. Celebrities who were spotlighted by Hallmark included family-program 'high-priestess' Lori Loughlin and comics-program superstar Dean Cain.
One day, a prince from Denmark named Hamlet wanted to be part of the whole 'Hallmark hubbub.' Hamlet watched Hallmark programs on TV from Denmark and was interested in investing in the network's shows and films and also wanted to do a cameo in one of the network's family-Christmas films in 2018. Hallmark mainstay Lori Loughlin was enraged, insisting that the network should not cater to the whims of just one fan just because he happened to be a eyebrow-raising prince. Hamlet disagreed!
However, Hamlet was being stalked by his evil nemesis and rival, Fortinbras. This man was from Norway and was something of a 'prince of darkness.' Fortinbras managed an extensive narcotics-empire and despised the values-oriented spirit that networks like Hallmark promoted in modern media. Fortinbras wanted to have Hamlet assassinated before the 'spritely prince' was paraded on one of Hallmark's 'beloved Christmas films.' Fortinbras decided to cajole Lori Loughlin to host a Hallmark staff holiday-season dinner party (with Prince Hamlet as the guest-of-honor) and had one of his 'damsels' attend as a society journalist who would poison Hamlet's dinner. Fortinbras told Lori he was a Wall Street investor from Europe with ties to royalty (since no one knew his underworld identity).
When Lori hosted her party with Hamlet as the guest-of-honor, Fortinbras' secret-agent Delilah was there covering the event as one of the journalists from Harper's Bazaar. Delilah cut the pumpkin pie piece for Prince Hamlet and dosed it with a vial of liquid arsenic which was hidden in her shoe and served it to Hamlet herself. Just before Hamlet bit into the delicious pie, Lori ran over to stop him so he could take a media-circle photo for the Washington Post. Hamlet never ended up eating Delilah's poisoned pie and survived the event. Fortinbras was furious and had Delilah assassinated instead.
Media-intrigue comprised a new form of 'social consciousness.' Celebrities, media-scandals, political endorsements of entertainment, networking for consumerism/commerce, and real-time journalism reigned over civilization imagination. Media was the new meteorology. That's why all kinds of intrigue regarding ethics and values created metaphysical forms of 'imagination wars,' and those who fell behind were dinosaurs or prey. This was a 'Great Tribulation' in the evolution of social cohesion, as consumerism-oriented socialization (e.g., The Home Shopping Network) became podiums for great 'patriotism-propaganda.'
The Christian Coalition did not want to be left out of the new parade and wanted to comment on Hamlet's newfound role with Hallmark. The Coalition sent a delegate, a young southern minister named Luke, to a Hallmark Christmas-film production set where Hamlet was found training as an actor. Luke asked Hamlet why he wanted to be part of a Hallmark holiday-movie, and Hamlet explained that media was the new 'religion.' That's when Luke decided to post an editorial in the Christian Coalition Gazette about 'princely involvements' in media-programs based purely on 'socialization idolatry' (e.g., Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?). Was Luke right?
TRUMP: I love the Hallmark Channel, Carter.
CARTER: It's become a holiday-treat.
TRUMP: Those Christmas-movies are beloved.
CARTER: Lori Loughlin is one of the featured stars.
TRUMP: Did you hear about the new Prince Hamlet film?
CARTER: Yes, it caught the attention of the Christian Coalition.
TRUMP: What's wrong with a little 'royal spotlighting'?
CARTER: Nothing...as long as the marketing is sane.
TRUMP: I suppose consumerism can become...zany!
CARTER: Remember the looting of stores during the L.A. Race-Riots?
TRUMP: Yes, that was to the '90s was 9/11 was to the '00s.
CARTER: Modern media should solely be about intuitive journalism.
TRUMP: Consumer-products reflect social attitudes these days.
CARTER: Wilson Hammer racquets, Burt's Bees lotion, DiGiorno's homemade pizza.
TRUMP: Americans crave goods that represent 'lifestyle spirituality.'
====
Cheers (signing 0ff),
====
Americans loved the family value oriented programming featured on the iconic Hallmark Channel which presented movies about neighborhood sleuths, Christmas party magic, children's clubs, and reunited couples. The Hallmark Channel was a modern phenomenon (post-1990s), but it was based in the tradition of Little Orphan Annie and The Today Show. Celebrities who were spotlighted by Hallmark included family-program 'high-priestess' Lori Loughlin and comics-program superstar Dean Cain.
One day, a prince from Denmark named Hamlet wanted to be part of the whole 'Hallmark hubbub.' Hamlet watched Hallmark programs on TV from Denmark and was interested in investing in the network's shows and films and also wanted to do a cameo in one of the network's family-Christmas films in 2018. Hallmark mainstay Lori Loughlin was enraged, insisting that the network should not cater to the whims of just one fan just because he happened to be a eyebrow-raising prince. Hamlet disagreed!
However, Hamlet was being stalked by his evil nemesis and rival, Fortinbras. This man was from Norway and was something of a 'prince of darkness.' Fortinbras managed an extensive narcotics-empire and despised the values-oriented spirit that networks like Hallmark promoted in modern media. Fortinbras wanted to have Hamlet assassinated before the 'spritely prince' was paraded on one of Hallmark's 'beloved Christmas films.' Fortinbras decided to cajole Lori Loughlin to host a Hallmark staff holiday-season dinner party (with Prince Hamlet as the guest-of-honor) and had one of his 'damsels' attend as a society journalist who would poison Hamlet's dinner. Fortinbras told Lori he was a Wall Street investor from Europe with ties to royalty (since no one knew his underworld identity).
When Lori hosted her party with Hamlet as the guest-of-honor, Fortinbras' secret-agent Delilah was there covering the event as one of the journalists from Harper's Bazaar. Delilah cut the pumpkin pie piece for Prince Hamlet and dosed it with a vial of liquid arsenic which was hidden in her shoe and served it to Hamlet herself. Just before Hamlet bit into the delicious pie, Lori ran over to stop him so he could take a media-circle photo for the Washington Post. Hamlet never ended up eating Delilah's poisoned pie and survived the event. Fortinbras was furious and had Delilah assassinated instead.
Media-intrigue comprised a new form of 'social consciousness.' Celebrities, media-scandals, political endorsements of entertainment, networking for consumerism/commerce, and real-time journalism reigned over civilization imagination. Media was the new meteorology. That's why all kinds of intrigue regarding ethics and values created metaphysical forms of 'imagination wars,' and those who fell behind were dinosaurs or prey. This was a 'Great Tribulation' in the evolution of social cohesion, as consumerism-oriented socialization (e.g., The Home Shopping Network) became podiums for great 'patriotism-propaganda.'
The Christian Coalition did not want to be left out of the new parade and wanted to comment on Hamlet's newfound role with Hallmark. The Coalition sent a delegate, a young southern minister named Luke, to a Hallmark Christmas-film production set where Hamlet was found training as an actor. Luke asked Hamlet why he wanted to be part of a Hallmark holiday-movie, and Hamlet explained that media was the new 'religion.' That's when Luke decided to post an editorial in the Christian Coalition Gazette about 'princely involvements' in media-programs based purely on 'socialization idolatry' (e.g., Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?). Was Luke right?
TRUMP: I love the Hallmark Channel, Carter.
CARTER: It's become a holiday-treat.
TRUMP: Those Christmas-movies are beloved.
CARTER: Lori Loughlin is one of the featured stars.
TRUMP: Did you hear about the new Prince Hamlet film?
CARTER: Yes, it caught the attention of the Christian Coalition.
TRUMP: What's wrong with a little 'royal spotlighting'?
CARTER: Nothing...as long as the marketing is sane.
TRUMP: I suppose consumerism can become...zany!
CARTER: Remember the looting of stores during the L.A. Race-Riots?
TRUMP: Yes, that was to the '90s was 9/11 was to the '00s.
CARTER: Modern media should solely be about intuitive journalism.
TRUMP: Consumer-products reflect social attitudes these days.
CARTER: Wilson Hammer racquets, Burt's Bees lotion, DiGiorno's homemade pizza.
TRUMP: Americans crave goods that represent 'lifestyle spirituality.'
====
