Geroge Has to Have an MRI! He is Apprehensive, Big Time!

[Colin]

Yeah, I have heard those are a little uncomfortable, as the doc likes to say. Any time a doc tells you something is going to be a "little uncomfortable," be prepared to start screaming.

I called my Doc a LOT of colorful names

"Guess there was more scar tissue in there than I thought"

Here is a list of (allegedly) actual comments made by colonoscopy patients to their doctors:

1."Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
2."Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3."Can you hear me NOW?"
4."Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5."You know in Arkansas we're now legally married."
6."Any sign of the trapped miners yet, Doc?"
7."You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8."Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9."If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
10."Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11."You used to be an executive at Enron didn't you?"
12."God, Now I know why I am not gay."
13."Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact not up there." (our favorite)

My favorite is No. 6: ."Any sign of the trapped miners yet, Doc?"

Well, 9 hours to go until the MRI. But I'm not nervous . . . .

When I had a cystoscopy...that's where they send a camera crew up your dick... I think I said something like, "fuuuuuuuuuuuck meeeee!". Or maybe I screamed it.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

Get a Xanax from your doc. You'll be amazed how much it helps.

I took two Xanax tablets prior to a little "procedure" I had to have a couple of years ago. I was told to take one four hours before the procedure and then the other one just before the procedure. I took both of them just before the procedure. Badda-BOOM! Those bad boys are POWERFUL.

No way to get them today, alas - not enough time. (Maybe I can get a couple from one of my clients . . . . )

But I think I'm OK. As I may have mentioned, I THINK my eyes will be actually outside of the tube. This is, after all, a knee MRI. My doc said I won't have to go all the way in and I am also fairly tall (dark and handsome, as well, of course), so I am hopeful that I won't be sucked entirely into this enlarged piece of PVC pipe.

I will be glad when this is over. George Costanza never was very brave . . .

Edit Note: This just in! I had forgotten that my primary care physician is also a pal of mine. I have his iPhone number and can, therefore, send him a text message. I have done so. I may be able to pop a Xanax or two yet . . . .

They will do everything they can to make you more comfortable. Tell them to put a warm washcloth over your eyes, maybe turn a fan on, pillows under your arms, etc. I know, I get claustrophobic in those things too.

In fact, I won't go into an enclosed tube. Wide open mri for me only.

Oh, I didn't know that was an option! I'll have to remember that in case I need to have an MRI.

 

[whitehall]

They make a lot of noise so they gave me earphones and a Willie Nelson CD to listen to. I fell asleep. One thing bothers me though. They asked me if I ever used a wire brush or a grinding wheel or stuff like that which might cause tiny splinters in the eye. The theory is the big magnet might move the splinters around. What adult male hasn't so they ordered what they call "orbits" which is a x-ray of the eyes. Within two years I had cataracts so bad I needed an operation. Coincidence? Maybe and maybe not.

 

[George Costanza]

Get a Xanax from your doc. You'll be amazed how much it helps.

I took two Xanax tablets prior to a little "procedure" I had to have a couple of years ago. I was told to take one four hours before the procedure and then the other one just before the procedure. I took both of them just before the procedure. Badda-BOOM! Those bad boys are POWERFUL.

No way to get them today, alas - not enough time. (Maybe I can get a couple from one of my clients . . . . )

But I think I'm OK. As I may have mentioned, I THINK my eyes will be actually outside of the tube. This is, after all, a knee MRI. My doc said I won't have to go all the way in and I am also fairly tall (dark and handsome, as well, of course), so I am hopeful that I won't be sucked entirely into this enlarged piece of PVC pipe.

I will be glad when this is over. George Costanza never was very brave . . .

Edit Note: This just in! I had forgotten that my primary care physician is also a pal of mine. I have his iPhone number and can, therefore, send him a text message. I have done so. I may be able to pop a Xanax or two yet . . . .

They will do everything they can to make you more comfortable. Tell them to put a warm washcloth over your eyes, maybe turn a fan on, pillows under your arms, etc. I know, I get claustrophobic in those things too.

In fact, I won't go into an enclosed tube. Wide open mri for me only.

The problem with open MRI's is that they are not as accurate as the enclosed MRI's, whatever that means. My doc said I could have an open one if I wanted, but intimated that, if I did, he would not be able to determine what is going on with my knee as well as with an enclosed MRI.

Time to MAN UP, right?

5 hours to go. Dead man walking.

 

[George Costanza]

I called my Doc a LOT of colorful names

"Guess there was more scar tissue in there than I thought"

Here is a list of (allegedly) actual comments made by colonoscopy patients to their doctors:

1."Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
2."Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3."Can you hear me NOW?"
4."Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5."You know in Arkansas we're now legally married."
6."Any sign of the trapped miners yet, Doc?"
7."You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8."Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9."If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
10."Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11."You used to be an executive at Enron didn't you?"
12."God, Now I know why I am not gay."
13."Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact not up there." (our favorite)

My favorite is No. 6: ."Any sign of the trapped miners yet, Doc?"

Well, 9 hours to go until the MRI. But I'm not nervous . . . .

When I had a cystoscopy...that's where they send a camera crew up your dick... I think I said something like, "fuuuuuuuuuuuck meeeee!". Or maybe I screamed it.

Oh, God - I thought I was the only guy who ever had to have one of those. I went for a physical and my urine sample came back with a slightly elevated red blood cell count. So, in order to protect my doc from malpractice, I had to check in with the urologist and have a cystoscopy. When he described the procedure to me, I asked him what kind of antesthetic would be involved - general, I assumed. He looked at me like I was nuts and gave me the bad news. He said: "It only takes about 30 seconds. It's nothing." To which I replied: "I can probably take one of your legs off with a chain saw in about 30 seconds." He didn't seem to get my point.

So anyway, he prescribed some Xanax for me which I made sure to OD on just prior to going in. It worked. A nothing procedure, really - it was all in the apprehension ahead of time. But, I mean, who WOULDN'T be a little apprehensive about some doc shoving a camera on the end of a rubber tube straight into Big Gerry?

As I grow older, I am learning - if it ends in "oscopy," you might want to consider other options.

 

[Colin]

Here is a list of (allegedly) actual comments made by colonoscopy patients to their doctors:

1."Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
2."Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3."Can you hear me NOW?"
4."Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5."You know in Arkansas we're now legally married."
6."Any sign of the trapped miners yet, Doc?"
7."You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8."Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9."If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
10."Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11."You used to be an executive at Enron didn't you?"
12."God, Now I know why I am not gay."
13."Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact not up there." (our favorite)

My favorite is No. 6: ."Any sign of the trapped miners yet, Doc?"

Well, 9 hours to go until the MRI. But I'm not nervous . . . .

When I had a cystoscopy...that's where they send a camera crew up your dick... I think I said something like, "fuuuuuuuuuuuck meeeee!". Or maybe I screamed it.

Oh, God - I thought I was the only guy who ever had to have one of those. I went for a physical and my urine sample came back with a slightly elevated red blood cell count. So, in order to protect my doc from malpractice, I had to check in with the urologist and have a cystoscopy. When he described the procedure to me, I asked him what kind of antesthetic would be involved - general, I assumed. He looked at me like I was nuts and gave me the bad news. He said: "It only takes about 30 seconds. It's nothing." To which I replied: "I can probably take one of your legs off with a chain saw in about 30 seconds." He didn't seem to get my point.

So anyway, he prescribed some Xanax for me which I made sure to OD on just prior to going in. It worked. A nothing procedure, really - it was all in the apprehension ahead of time. But, I mean, who WOULDN'T be a little apprehensive about some doc shoving a camera on the end of a rubber tube straight into Big Gerry?

As I grow older, I am learning - if it ends in "oscopy," you might want to consider other options.

Lol! I know what you mean, but sometimes it can be a lifesaver. Turned out I had bladder cancer.

 

[hortysir]

Let us know if they find a heart

 

[George Costanza]

When I had a cystoscopy...that's where they send a camera crew up your dick... I think I said something like, "fuuuuuuuuuuuck meeeee!". Or maybe I screamed it.

Oh, God - I thought I was the only guy who ever had to have one of those. I went for a physical and my urine sample came back with a slightly elevated red blood cell count. So, in order to protect my doc from malpractice, I had to check in with the urologist and have a cystoscopy. When he described the procedure to me, I asked him what kind of antesthetic would be involved - general, I assumed. He looked at me like I was nuts and gave me the bad news. He said: "It only takes about 30 seconds. It's nothing." To which I replied: "I can probably take one of your legs off with a chain saw in about 30 seconds." He didn't seem to get my point.

So anyway, he prescribed some Xanax for me which I made sure to OD on just prior to going in. It worked. A nothing procedure, really - it was all in the apprehension ahead of time. But, I mean, who WOULDN'T be a little apprehensive about some doc shoving a camera on the end of a rubber tube straight into Big Gerry?

As I grow older, I am learning - if it ends in "oscopy," you might want to consider other options.

Lol! I know what you mean, but sometimes it can be a lifesaver. Turned out I had bladder cancer.

That's the thing - you really don't have any other options once a doc feels an "oscopy" of some kind is indicated. Sure, you can refuse to go through the procedure. Then what?

Glad they caught your bladder cancer!

 

[George Costanza]

Two and a half hours to go. I am expecting a visit from the chaplain any time.

 

[George Costanza]

AP/Reuters - Pasadena, CA - 5-16-13: Yesterday, George Costanza underwent an MRI to determine the condition of his right knee. Reliable sources state that the popular star tolerated the procedure well, spending the remainder of his evening in the company of friends and well wishers. Costanza will consult with his orthopaedic doctor next Monday to review the results of the MRI.

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I did it! I got it done! Wow! I didn't even have to get drunk or suck down four or five Xanax pills. Here's how it went:

If you have ever been thought one of these mothers, you will know that there are really two tubes. In the center of the machine is the main tube. That's the small one. But before you get to the main tube, there is an entranceway that kind of fans out to form a larger opening or a larger tube. MRI guy said not to worry - that I am tall enough so I will be well out of the smaller tube.

And thus it was. The only part of my body that went into the smaller tube was from the waist down. If I crossed my arms over my stomach, my elbows were touching the beginning of the smaller tube. So claustophobia was not an issue in any way.

The whole thing took 25 minutes. I managed to keep my right knee from moving, so nothing had to be done over. I had these earphones on that played soft jazz from a local radio station. (As an aside, the female disk jockey is a personal friend of my wife's, so I got to hear a familiar voice.)

So, nothing more to see here . . . move along folks . . . EXCEPT:

Sadly, there some bad news to go along with the good. In going through this MRI, I learned one thing, and that is, that I would NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS be able to undergo an MRI if my entire body had to go into the smaller tube. It wouldn't be a matter of claustrophobia - it would be a matter of physical impossiblity. I simply would not fit into the smaller tube.

I was lying there with my hands clasped across my stomach. My elbows were right up against the beginning of the smaller tube. Then, MRI guy had to move me forward several inches. He had warned me that he might have to do that at some time during the procedure but, when the time came to do it, he did not tell me he was going to do it. As my body moved forward, my elbows jammed up against the edges of the smaller tube. Not so much as to cause a major problem, but I knew that if he moved me forward any more, there would be a major problem. I buzzed him on the intercom. He told me to put my arms over my head, which I did.

After a while, I moved my arms back down again to see if I could get them into the smaller tube alongside my lower body. No dice. Not enough room.

That does not bode well for the future in the event I ever have to have another MRI for some other area of my body that will require full immersion into the smaller tube. I guess if that happens, it will have to be an open MRI or nothing. I'll discuss that with my doc on Monday when I see him for the MRI consult.

As an aside, it's no accident that I use George Costanza as my screen name. In many ways, I am much like the character of George Costanza as played by Jason Alexander. This is a prime example: only George would find something else to worry about in spite of the highly successful conclusion of something he had worried himself sick about in the first instance.

Anyway, it's over. Thanks for all of your serious and good natured support. It really did help me a lot.

 

[Pop23]

Waist down in a cozy tube


Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Doesn't sound all that bad to me!

Glad you got through it Ok?

 

[George Costanza]

Waist down in a cozy tube


Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Doesn't sound all that bad to me!

Glad you got through it Ok?

I can think of other types of cozy tubes I would rather be inside of, but yes, I got through it OK. Thanks.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

Hip hip HOORAY! It's funny, George, you were so concerned about the procedure but don't seem all that concerned about your poor knee! : ) But I know exactly how you feel!

I wonder if a CT scan would give doctors what they needed to know in place of an MRI? I think it might. When the doctor wanted me to get one I researched it. It's a big donut, not a long tube, so I don't think claustrophobia would be a problem...most of you would be sticking out.

I didn't get the CT scan, i was concerned about the radiation. It is the radiation of about 200 chest x-rays, or more, all at once! I told the doc, let's wait and see if the symptoms return, then I'll get the CT scan. He wanted to check for kidney stones...not a particularly life-threatening possibility, although they might make you think you're dying! Personally, I think it was my gallbladder, and I think it was uncomplicated biliary colic. Hopfully it was a one-time thing. Time will tell. : )

Here's some information on CT scan vs. MRI:

A CT Scan (or CAT Scan) and an MRI operate differently and are better suited for different types of diagnoses. An MRI suited for examining soft tissue, (e.g. ligament and tendon injury, spinal cord injury, brain tumors etc.) while a CT scan is better suited for bone injuries, lung and chest imaging, and detecting cancers. CT scans are widely used in emergency rooms because the procedure takes less than 5 minutes. An MRI, on the other hand, can take up to 30 minutes.

An MRI typically costs more than a CT scan. One advantage of an MRI is that it does not use radiation while CAT scans do. This radiation is harmful if there is repeated exposure.

CT Scan vs MRI - Difference and Comparison | Diffen

 

[George Costanza]

Hip hip HOORAY! It's funny, George, you were so concerned about the procedure but don't seem all that concerned about your poor knee! : )

I wonder if a CT scan would give doctors what they needed to know in place of an MRI? I think it would. And when the doctor wanted me to get one I researched it. It's a big donut, not a long tube, so I don't think claustrophobia would be a problem...your head and feet would be sticking out.

I didn't get the CT scan, i was concerned about the radiation. It is the radiation of about 200 chest x-rays, or more, all at once! I told the doc, let's wait and see if the symptoms return, then I'll get the CT scan.

Here's some information on CT scan vs. MRI:

A CT Scan (or CAT Scan) and an MRI operate differently and are better suited for different types of diagnoses. An MRI suited for examining soft tissue, (e.g. ligament and tendon injury, spinal cord injury, brain tumors etc.) while a CT scan is better suited for bone injuries, lung and chest imaging, and detecting cancers. CT scans are widely used in emergency rooms because the procedure takes less than 5 minutes. An MRI, on the other hand, can take up to 30 minutes.

An MRI typically costs more than a CT scan. One advantage of an MRI is that it does not use radiation while CAT scans do. This radiation is harmful if there is repeated exposure.

CT Scan vs MRI - Difference and Comparison | Diffen

You're darn right I was more concerned about the MRI than the conditon of my knee. I don't care WHAT they do to me when I'm knocked out, which I will be if surgery on the knee becomes necessary. You aren't knocked out when you are having an MRI. Of course, now that I have that behind me, I suppose I can begin to concentrate on whining about what's going to happen to me next. Stay tuned . . .

I have had a number of CT scans. They are no problem, of course, because they are totally open. I hadn't thought about seeing if I could have opted for a CT scan on my knee. I'll ask my doc about that on Monday. (One possible clue is that my doc owns the entire building where he has a very large practice - 12 ortho docs in his group and he's the head of it - and, more significantly, owns the MRI facility down on the first floor where I went for last evening's procedure.)

Perhpas the answer lies in what you say about a CT scan being for bone issues with an MRI being better suited for soft tissue stuff. My doc suspects a torn meniscus or ligiament(s) in my case.