Frank Zappa said it best

[CrusaderFrank]

You can't be a Real Country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

 

[CrusaderFrank]

There will never be a nuclear war; there's too much real estate involved

 

[CrusaderFrank]

Interviewer: "So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?"

FZ: "You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?"