Colin, I never thought I'd write this, but your resilience against this tidal wave of criticism against our country from this group of largely ignorant hicks is most commendable. Most commendable indeed.
But please, allow me to take the helm.
Now, hear me, America.
It is true that many of us feel that the U.K has taken the restrictions on firearms too far. Quite frankly, they're depriving us of our sense of responsibility by banning anything and everything that bears a threat against our safety. This is a bad, Labour policy.
But it's something I hope our new government will address.
That said, perhaps you could take a leaf out of our book with regards to firearms legislation. For too long now the world has looked on in pity at a nation with such a juvenille attitude towards firearms. Constantly indulging their child-like obsession.
Honestly, when are you going to realise that not everything is solved by a gun. It actually comes across as quite cowardly.
Also, handguns, rifles and shotguns are one thing. But a private citizen has no need of automatic weapons. Hopefully you'll all soon realise that some hardware belongs in the hands of the military. Not in an environment where a child could gain access to it.
As a nation, you really do need to get your priorities in order.