Face it: Monogamy is unnatural

[MikeK]

One thing that my wife and I do is not control every minute and every aspect of each others lives. We are free to come and go as we please and see whom we want without harassment or drama.

Does the, ". . . see whom we want" part mean what "see" means in a so-called "open" marriage?

 

[ekrem]

Monogamy is a societal construct. Biologically we aren't designed to be monogamous.

A religious concept.

 

[BlueGin]

You could say honesty is unnatural or self control is unnatural. Leave it to the ignorant left to try to redefine society.

Exactly. Driving a car,flying in a plane and practicing medicine are also unnatural but done in today's society. Why? Because humans have evolved/advanced beyond the caveman days. But somehow we are supposed to except that humans can't evolve past sexual instincts related to monogamy...so, we should just get used to the fact that it "will" happen. Even going so far as to "prove" that animals in nature that mate for life really "cheat".

It's like they want our mindset to be that of under achievers and to expect less.

 

[dilloduck]

Hardly a concern in an over populated world. I think that excuse is quite out dated.

Ya but our chemistry is still pretty much the same. It's in our nature. We are naturally sexually attracted to numerous people in a lifetime. We must repress our natural instincts to comply with social and religious norms. I'm not saying anything is wrong with that. I just think sexual monogamy is a social convention and not a biologically natural one.

So, are you saying that it's the nature of both sexes or just the men?

there are so many semantics at play here that it makes a coherent discussion almost impossible without setting some parameters. Some people have what I would call a monogamous relationship yet they may have had been intimate with someone outside the relationship at times. That doesn't strike me as something "unnatural" for a man or a woman

 

[dilloduck]

You could say honesty is unnatural or self control is unnatural. Leave it to the ignorant left to try to redefine society.

Honesty is just a fact. You either are or you are not.

 

[BlueGin]

Ya but our chemistry is still pretty much the same. It's in our nature. We are naturally sexually attracted to numerous people in a lifetime. We must repress our natural instincts to comply with social and religious norms. I'm not saying anything is wrong with that. I just think sexual monogamy is a social convention and not a biologically natural one.

So, are you saying that it's the nature of both sexes or just the men?

there are so many semantics at play here that it makes a coherent discussion almost impossible without setting some parameters. Some people have what I would call a monogamous relationship yet they may have had been intimate with someone outside the relationship at times. That doesn't strike me as something "unnatural" for a man or a woman

Would you find it acceptable if your significant other had sex outside of your relationship if you were monogamous?

 

[dilloduck]

So, are you saying that it's the nature of both sexes or just the men?

there are so many semantics at play here that it makes a coherent discussion almost impossible without setting some parameters. Some people have what I would call a monogamous relationship yet they may have had been intimate with someone outside the relationship at times. That doesn't strike me as something "unnatural" for a man or a woman

Would you find it acceptable if your significant other had sex outside of your relationship if you were monogamous?

If adults want to maker things a bit easier on themselves I think it's a good idea to set up some rules that BOTH agree to abide by. If my partner broke the "rules" I would have to decide on my own what my next step would be.

 

[ekrem]

Women "selecting" their partners is a privilege of modern society, enforced by the State.
When humans live with "jungle laws" the female is always at the bottom of the pecking order.

Even if the woman had a desire to have sex with more than just 1 partner she couldn't have done it in the past without risking her whole existence.

 

[dilloduck]

Jungle law----natural.

 

[BlueGin]

there are so many semantics at play here that it makes a coherent discussion almost impossible without setting some parameters. Some people have what I would call a monogamous relationship yet they may have had been intimate with someone outside the relationship at times. That doesn't strike me as something "unnatural" for a man or a woman

Would you find it acceptable if your significant other had sex outside of your relationship if you were monogamous?

If adults want to maker things a bit easier on themselves I think it's a good idea to set up some rules that BOTH agree to abide by. If my partner broke the "rules" I would have to decide on my own what my next step would be.

So, then we have apparently evolved enough to negotiate mutually beneficial deals in the relationship and have the ability to abide by them if we want to. The choice is not out of our hands.

 

[Skull Pilot]

Interesting... so now we live way too long, and therefore can't be expected to be monogamous. I also find it funny that our society has such a problem with this concept ( monogamy) that they must seek out proof that even the animals thought to mate for life...don't. And therefore how can humans be expected to. Makes me laugh.

****************************************************************


Editor's note: Meghan Laslocky is the author of "The Little Book of Heartbreak: Love Gone Wrong Through the Ages" (Plume/Penguin 2013).

(CNN) -- Kristen Stewart, Ryan Phillippe, LeAnn Rimes, Jude Law, Mark Sanford and Bill Clinton. What do they have in common?

Many are quick to label a person who strays from his or her marriage or relationship as a "cheater," but it's really not that simple. It's time for our culture to wake up and smell the sex pheromones: monogamy is not natural for many, or probably even most, humans.

With people living longer than ever before, a greater tolerance toward the human impulse to experience sexual variety is needed. Whether a person succeeds at being sexually monogamous depends as much on biology as environment.

History and biology suggest that strict monogamy, which has social advantages, is not a "one size" fits all proposition.

Opinion: Monogamy is unnatural - CNN.com

One makes the choice to be faithful.

The ability to make that choice is what separates us from other animals.

We are not slaves to our baser urges as is the rest of the animal kingdom.

 

[dilloduck]

Interesting... so now we live way too long, and therefore can't be expected to be monogamous. I also find it funny that our society has such a problem with this concept ( monogamy) that they must seek out proof that even the animals thought to mate for life...don't. And therefore how can humans be expected to. Makes me laugh.

****************************************************************


Editor's note: Meghan Laslocky is the author of "The Little Book of Heartbreak: Love Gone Wrong Through the Ages" (Plume/Penguin 2013).

(CNN) -- Kristen Stewart, Ryan Phillippe, LeAnn Rimes, Jude Law, Mark Sanford and Bill Clinton. What do they have in common?

Many are quick to label a person who strays from his or her marriage or relationship as a "cheater," but it's really not that simple. It's time for our culture to wake up and smell the sex pheromones: monogamy is not natural for many, or probably even most, humans.

With people living longer than ever before, a greater tolerance toward the human impulse to experience sexual variety is needed. Whether a person succeeds at being sexually monogamous depends as much on biology as environment.

History and biology suggest that strict monogamy, which has social advantages, is not a "one size" fits all proposition.

Opinion: Monogamy is unnatural - CNN.com

One makes the choice to be faithful.

The ability to make that choice is what separates us from other animals.

We are not slaves to our baser urges as is the rest of the animal kingdom.

by baser urges are you meaning natural urges ?

 

[ekrem]

 

[BlueGin]

No do overs.

 

[C_Clayton_Jones]

only for men.lol

That was once the case, but now women are cheating as much as men.

If someone is unfulfilled in their relationship, they have a choice of either ending it, cheating, or resigning themselves to being unfulfilled (if the other partner is incapable or unwilling to work on it).

These days fewer and fewer people are resigning themselves to the idea that they just have to face it and "be strong".

I believe that it is because we now live in a throw away society and are taught that when things are too hard to just give up. And not to value relationships.

Reactionary, anachronistic nonsense.

We live in a more enlightened and sophisticated time where it’s understood relationships have a life span of their own; all things come to an end, whether we want them to or not.

It has nothing to do with a ‘lack of commitment’ or a ‘throwaway culture,’ but where relationships or marriages simply run their course, and are no longer appropriate or healthy for one or both members.

We are also a culture more enlightened and sophisticated to understand one cannot be compelled to remain in a marriage or relationship unwillingly where a party is unhappy solely for the 'sake of society.'

 

[whitehall]

Who would have thought a hundred years ago that there would be an entire industry dedicated to killing the unborn? Social evolution is a lot different from human evolution but the ignorant left often uses the terms interchangeably.

 

[dilloduck]

Who would have thought a hundred years ago that there would be an entire industry dedicated to killing the unborn? Social evolution is a lot different from human evolution but the ignorant left often uses the terms interchangeably.

So is monogamy evolution or devolution ?

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

It's fine if someone doesn't want to be monogamous. Don't then. But don't enter into a relationship where you're expected to be monogamous. Don't take vows that say "'til death do us part." Don't make commitments to another that you can't keep.

Dont expect to have multiple partners but still reap the benefits of a long-term, steady, monogamous relationship. Because if you do, all you really are is a slimy little cheater.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

One thing that my wife and I do is not control every minute and every aspect of each others lives. We are free to come and go as we please and see whom we want without harassment or drama.

Does the, ". . . see whom we want" part mean what "see" means in a so-called "open" marriage?

I was wondering the same thing, but couldn't think how to ask. : )

 

[JohnL.Burke]

If you don't want a monogamous relationship then don't get married. It aint rocket science.