Exercise/diet motivation...

[Michelle420]

Like drifter, I also lost many family members last year (sil, aunt, dad and mom between May 20 and June 10, hubs uncle late June, both my brothers had their cats put down in Oct, my mother's last living sibling her oldest sister 12/14, hubs aunt 12/24). Like many in this situation I gained some poundage.

My eating and exercise routine went out the window and after mid-July or so I found it impossible to do much of anything ... stopped exercising, stopped watching what I ate, stopped cooking, sat around most of the time. For some reason going to the grocery store became very difficult for me. I would just get so freaking sad there. Maybe because I was usually by myself and was just grieving but I avoided it as much as possible.

From Sept on tried many, many times to get some semblance of an exercise routine going and failed every time. Eating right wasn't any better. Cripes, the poor dogs have even been affected as their daily dog walks became practically non-existent.

Am slowly starting to get back to exercising and eating right. Sometimes it's two steps forward, one step backwards. I'll take that.

There are still days that I am too tired to even try. I don't know if it's still part of the grieving process or that I'm not getting enough sleep. Maybe both?

Prior to all this I had a great routine of walking/running on the treadmill (had even run 5K a few times on there!) and a variety of strength, hiit, cross training, yoga workouts plus nearly daily dog walks of 1.5 miles. Now I'm just trying to walk a brisk pace for 1/2 hour on the tm and doing some yoga and pilates to get myself moving. Some days are better than others.

I've been down this (weight loss) road before and know what it takes to see results ... it's just harder this time.

I can tell you that motivation is fleeting, determination and commitment are what will get you to your goals.

I've always been a calorie counter type because that's what works for me. 1500/day is my goal and know that once I lose even 5 lbs that often pushes me to stay on track. Also, sticking with a strict number of cals per day can cause plateaus after some time, so zig-zagging your cals (eating say 1300 one day, 1600 the next, 1450, the next, etc) can help get past that. Kind of like what interval workouts do, keep your body from becoming used to everything.

Great thread, pacer. Thanks for starting it.

we're in the same boat, I lost my cousin oct 2012, then my dad jan 2013 and my cat jan 2013 (two days apart) and then my sister june 2013.

I was still functioning and exercising but when my sister died (suicide) I lost all interest in anything. I just slept alot and watched netflix and posted. Everything felt like a big effort to even get out of bed.

Going to school was as much energy as I could expand.

In the back of my mind I know getting back into my exercise would help me mentally and physically.

But it's been real hard to do.

 

[Zoom-boing]

Like drifter, I also lost many family members last year (sil, aunt, dad and mom between May 20 and June 10, hubs uncle late June, both my brothers had their cats put down in Oct, my mother's last living sibling her oldest sister 12/14, hubs aunt 12/24). Like many in this situation I gained some poundage.

My eating and exercise routine went out the window and after mid-July or so I found it impossible to do much of anything ... stopped exercising, stopped watching what I ate, stopped cooking, sat around most of the time. For some reason going to the grocery store became very difficult for me. I would just get so freaking sad there. Maybe because I was usually by myself and was just grieving but I avoided it as much as possible.

From Sept on tried many, many times to get some semblance of an exercise routine going and failed every time. Eating right wasn't any better. Cripes, the poor dogs have even been affected as their daily dog walks became practically non-existent.

Am slowly starting to get back to exercising and eating right. Sometimes it's two steps forward, one step backwards. I'll take that.

There are still days that I am too tired to even try. I don't know if it's still part of the grieving process or that I'm not getting enough sleep. Maybe both?

Prior to all this I had a great routine of walking/running on the treadmill (had even run 5K a few times on there!) and a variety of strength, hiit, cross training, yoga workouts plus nearly daily dog walks of 1.5 miles. Now I'm just trying to walk a brisk pace for 1/2 hour on the tm and doing some yoga and pilates to get myself moving. Some days are better than others.

I've been down this (weight loss) road before and know what it takes to see results ... it's just harder this time.

I can tell you that motivation is fleeting, determination and commitment are what will get you to your goals.

I've always been a calorie counter type because that's what works for me. 1500/day is my goal and know that once I lose even 5 lbs that often pushes me to stay on track. Also, sticking with a strict number of cals per day can cause plateaus after some time, so zig-zagging your cals (eating say 1300 one day, 1600 the next, 1450, the next, etc) can help get past that. Kind of like what interval workouts do, keep your body from becoming used to everything.

Great thread, pacer. Thanks for starting it.

we're in the same boat, I lost my cousin oct 2012, then my dad jan 2013 and my cat jan 2013 (two days apart) and then my sister june 2013.

I was still functioning and exercising but when my sister died (suicide) I lost all interest in anything. I just slept alot and watched netflix and posted. Everything felt like a big effort to even get out of bed.

Going to school was as much energy as I could expand.

In the back of my mind I know getting back into my exercise would help me mentally and physically.

But it's been real hard to do.

I knew about your sister (she and my mom died the same day last year ) but didn't know about your cousin, dad and cat. I'm so sorry, d.

The bolded? THIS. EXACTLY. I know what needs to be done but . . . it's just so hard.

The weather today is nice (I live in SE PA, lonng snowy winter) and today is one of about 4 or 5 days since last summer that I've felt good, like myself. Maybe spring will help with everything and these days will come around more frequently. I'm hoping anyway.

The toll of last year was so great ... it will take quite some time before our selves recover from it. We have to give ourselves that time.

 

[Michelle420]

Like drifter, I also lost many family members last year (sil, aunt, dad and mom between May 20 and June 10, hubs uncle late June, both my brothers had their cats put down in Oct, my mother's last living sibling her oldest sister 12/14, hubs aunt 12/24). Like many in this situation I gained some poundage.

My eating and exercise routine went out the window and after mid-July or so I found it impossible to do much of anything ... stopped exercising, stopped watching what I ate, stopped cooking, sat around most of the time. For some reason going to the grocery store became very difficult for me. I would just get so freaking sad there. Maybe because I was usually by myself and was just grieving but I avoided it as much as possible.

From Sept on tried many, many times to get some semblance of an exercise routine going and failed every time. Eating right wasn't any better. Cripes, the poor dogs have even been affected as their daily dog walks became practically non-existent.

Am slowly starting to get back to exercising and eating right. Sometimes it's two steps forward, one step backwards. I'll take that.

There are still days that I am too tired to even try. I don't know if it's still part of the grieving process or that I'm not getting enough sleep. Maybe both?

Prior to all this I had a great routine of walking/running on the treadmill (had even run 5K a few times on there!) and a variety of strength, hiit, cross training, yoga workouts plus nearly daily dog walks of 1.5 miles. Now I'm just trying to walk a brisk pace for 1/2 hour on the tm and doing some yoga and pilates to get myself moving. Some days are better than others.

I've been down this (weight loss) road before and know what it takes to see results ... it's just harder this time.

I can tell you that motivation is fleeting, determination and commitment are what will get you to your goals.

I've always been a calorie counter type because that's what works for me. 1500/day is my goal and know that once I lose even 5 lbs that often pushes me to stay on track. Also, sticking with a strict number of cals per day can cause plateaus after some time, so zig-zagging your cals (eating say 1300 one day, 1600 the next, 1450, the next, etc) can help get past that. Kind of like what interval workouts do, keep your body from becoming used to everything.

Great thread, pacer. Thanks for starting it.

we're in the same boat, I lost my cousin oct 2012, then my dad jan 2013 and my cat jan 2013 (two days apart) and then my sister june 2013.

I was still functioning and exercising but when my sister died (suicide) I lost all interest in anything. I just slept alot and watched netflix and posted. Everything felt like a big effort to even get out of bed.

Going to school was as much energy as I could expand.

In the back of my mind I know getting back into my exercise would help me mentally and physically.

But it's been real hard to do.

I knew about your sister (she and my mom died the same day last year ) but didn't know about your cousin, dad and cat. I'm so sorry, d.

The bolded? THIS. EXACTLY. I know what needs to be done but . . . it's just so hard.

The weather today is nice (I live in SE PA, lonng snowy winter) and today is one of about 4 or 5 days since last summer that I've felt good, like myself. Maybe spring will help with everything and these days will come around more frequently. I'm hoping anyway.

The toll of last year was so great ... it will take quite some time before our selves recover from it. We have to give ourselves that time.

It changes You that many deaths in a year.

I used to be more concerned about myself than others in the sense that their problems "annoyed" me and now I wish more then anything I would have been a better person and set aside my own goals to nurture others more effectively.

 

[Derideo_Te]

Never was big on exercise and never needed to because my lifestyle was active. Sailing, hiking, mountain climbing, riding a motorbike, diving, swimming and occasionally surfing. Gradually those activities dropped off for one reason or another and even then it wasn't a problem because I still did active walking whenever I could. But I began to slowly gain weight at about 2 lbs a year on average. It was quite insidious because it wasn't obvious. A slightly larger size when I bought pants or shirts that needed replacing.

It wasn't until I had a sleep study that diagnosed sleep apnea that I realized just how tired I was on a regular basis. I was also pre-diabetic. Worked with my doctor to change my lifestyle to stop that trend and I did turn it around but that weight gain persisted.

About a year ago my weight went over 250 and even though I am 6'3" that was too much for me. I knew that I was getting regular exercise so increasing it wasn't going to make much in the way of a difference. I also refuse to diet because that never works in the long run.

Instead I opted to change my portion sizes. Yes, I am older and my metabolism has slowed down. So I just made the mental resolve to dish smaller portions for myself. I also knew that I wasn't going to see any immediate results but I weigh myself every day before taking a shower. I still eat everything that I used to eat but in smaller amounts than before, and yes, occasionally I will go for seconds if it is one of my favorite foods. But I also find that I can sometimes skip a meal without it being a problem. A couple of pieces or dried fruit or some nuts suffice if I am too busy to take a break. I don't find myself overeating either. I am also a big fan of soups and they are both tasty and filling and I am always willing to have soup for dinner.

So the net result is between 5 and 10 lbs down so far. Yes, it fluctuates from day to day but it is somewhere in that range. I am tightening my belts another notch. Clothes feel looser. I am never hungry. I don't miss any of my favorite foods. It has become a habit to eat less.

 

[Sarah G]

Everyone knows the 10,000 steps a day healthy heart theory. I just installed a pedometer app on my phone. I figure I have it with me all the time anyway, we'll see how it goes.

 

[pacer]

Great thread, pacer. Thanks for starting it.

I certainly cannot take all the credit. drifter and I came up with the idea in another forum and brought it here. I am glad you find this thread helpful, Zoom.

I too lost my mother in June of last year. It was very painful to watch her slowly deteriorate. After she died, I went through a period of feeling down about everything. I couldn't care less about myself or my appearance. I have this website to be thankful for keeping me focused and getting me out of the slump I was in. I joined in the fall and now I can't get away from it. I too need to get motivated. My problem is I spend much too much time at this computer. Once the warm weather comes, I am determined to do a lot more walking.

 

[Tresha91203]

I used to weigh 225 lbs and I am 5'4". I dislike exercise and love greasy cheesy stuff primarily. My first go'round I starved myself, started my diet at 1000 calories per day. I dropped 75 lbs then could not drop anymore and could not really reduce calories anymore. I was so close but could not get there. Even worse, my body fought to gain, and I started creeping back up despite low intake. I got frustrated and gave up. More pounds, depression and more pounds. It had been so hard and taken a year and I just could not make myself start that diet again. Eventually, I got back up to 199 and ... just ... no f'ing way was I going to hit that dreaded 200.

Round 2. I just started moving. I did not change my diet first this time, just moved and got the heartrate up. I actually did this housecleaning. The real kind, not a swiffer and a Clorox wipe kind. I spent half an hour a day at it. I started dropping a little. Then I made some dietary changes. I started putting a spoonful of hot chocolate mix in my coffee in the morning to satisfy the chocolate craving and it worked. Low calorie and satisfying. Then I got cheese, real cheese, but did not melt it over junk. That replaced the nacho, cheeseburger, pizza fix and it also satisfied. I got out in the sun, on the riding mower. It wasn't actually exercise but I swear the sunshine helped a lot. Next came hard boiled eggs as a munchie, which also satisfied and did not feel diet. Later came pita and hummus, guacamole and pita chips, apples and cucumbers. I made small adjustments, taking out something (chips and cheese dip) and replacing with something that felt similar (pita chips and guacamole). While I did not focus on calories and fat, strictly, I did try to choose something healthier than what I was replacing.

Fast forward a year, down to 135 lbs and not starving. I eat more often but a lot of that is refrigerator grazing: eggs, cheeses, cucumbers, apples, pita and pita chips, hummus and guacamole, single pudding packs, etc. It got easier to move around and I find I move a lot more because I want to or have energy I need to burn that makes me need to move. 3 years later and I am still there, fluctuating between 130 and 140. That sounds like a big swing, but it really doesn't show on clothes and I can swing from one to the other in a couple of days, seemingly at random.

The thing for me this time is that my body did not fight me to hold the weight. Now, if I'm busy or we are eating out, I can have that cheeseburger, although I can rarely finish it. I don't want it 2 days in a row anymore and I feel sluggish and uncomfortable if I eat too much grease.

I work till 7pm so don't cook much at all. Eating better had to be easy for me. I am a grazer, so just made sure I had filling, satisfying, quick snacks. I don't worry about the fats in avacados or nuts because they are healthy and good for me. It has been pretty easy to maintain and I am not constantly hungry like the first round. I eat a lot of protein now, which satisfies. I have to be conscious to keep the raw fruits (apples and bananas are my top 2) and raw veggies (cucumbers, squashes and tomatoes) up because I tend to go for proteins first.

I can't really say that I eat healthy or balanced, but it is certainly more healthy and more balanced than my past ... and it was pretty painless. My vices were chocolate and greasy cheesy foods, and that's what worked for me.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

Everyone knows the 10,000 steps a day healthy heart theory. I just installed a pedometer app on my phone. I figure I have it with me all the time anyway, we'll see how it goes.

I use that too. Really like it as a way to judge how active I am.

=====================

... The more overweight you are the more cardio you need to do...

Not good advice at all.

If "you" are very overweight, do not jump into an aggressive cardio workout without talking to your doctor first.

 

[Michelle420]

Got a workout in today

 

[Ava]

Got a workout in today

I'll bet you felt good afterwards?? Here is what was going on in your beautiful body:



Ever wonder what is going on chemically in the body while you sweat it out at the gym? The euphoric feelings during and after exercise, as well as the muscle soreness that might just come a day later, don't just appear magically. Your body is made up of millions of chemical reactions, which result in different physical and mental feelings. Take a look at some of the top hormones and chemicals that are released when you workout.

Endorphins

These chemicals are released by your pituitary gland, which is located in the base of your brain. Endorphins make you feel exhilarated and happy and block any feelings of pain, so you can power through any discomfort caused by exercising. That's why people become addicted to strenuous forms of exercises and experience "runner's high."

Estrogen

Estrogen determines whether carbs or fat fuel the body during an intense exercise session. Women tend to burn fat for fuel, while men tend to burn carbs, because women have higher estrogen levels. When women undergo menopause, they usually experience some weight gain because of lowered estrogen levels.

See more chemicals released while exercising.

Dopamine

Dopamine is a pleasure chemical. Studies have found that a brain with a dopamine receptor deficiency is more prone to weight gain, because eating quickly easily raises dopamine levels. Those with fewer receptors need more dopamine in the bloodstream (aka more food) to reach the same level of satisfaction as someone with a normal amount. This is even more reason to work out regularly to keep those dopamine levels up in order to keep overeating and weight gain at bay. Domamine is often associated with orgasms. Working out helps stimulate the production of dopamine, and increased levels of dopamine combined with core, quads, thighs, and pelvic muscle exercises may result in a "coregasm."

Growth Factors

Growth factors are the hormone-like compounds that work with satellite cells to help stimulate and regulate production of more muscle. Growth factors like hepatocyte, fibroblast, and insulin send signals to the satellite cells to move to the damaged muscle area, repair the damage following exercise, and regulate muscle mass growth, respectively.

Serotonin

A chemical responsible for happiness, restful sleep, and a healthy appetite, serotonin levels will increase if you work out regularly. Serotonin works with endorphins to make working out a pleasurable activity. In addition, more serotonin means more energy and clearer thinking.

Hormones Released After Working Out

 

[Michelle420]

Got a workout in today

I'll bet you felt good afterwards?? Here is what was going on in your beautiful body:



Ever wonder what is going on chemically in the body while you sweat it out at the gym? The euphoric feelings during and after exercise, as well as the muscle soreness that might just come a day later, don't just appear magically. Your body is made up of millions of chemical reactions, which result in different physical and mental feelings. Take a look at some of the top hormones and chemicals that are released when you workout.

Endorphins

These chemicals are released by your pituitary gland, which is located in the base of your brain. Endorphins make you feel exhilarated and happy and block any feelings of pain, so you can power through any discomfort caused by exercising. That's why people become addicted to strenuous forms of exercises and experience "runner's high."

Estrogen

Estrogen determines whether carbs or fat fuel the body during an intense exercise session. Women tend to burn fat for fuel, while men tend to burn carbs, because women have higher estrogen levels. When women undergo menopause, they usually experience some weight gain because of lowered estrogen levels.

See more chemicals released while exercising.

Dopamine

Dopamine is a pleasure chemical. Studies have found that a brain with a dopamine receptor deficiency is more prone to weight gain, because eating quickly easily raises dopamine levels. Those with fewer receptors need more dopamine in the bloodstream (aka more food) to reach the same level of satisfaction as someone with a normal amount. This is even more reason to work out regularly to keep those dopamine levels up in order to keep overeating and weight gain at bay. Domamine is often associated with orgasms. Working out helps stimulate the production of dopamine, and increased levels of dopamine combined with core, quads, thighs, and pelvic muscle exercises may result in a "coregasm."

Growth Factors

Growth factors are the hormone-like compounds that work with satellite cells to help stimulate and regulate production of more muscle. Growth factors like hepatocyte, fibroblast, and insulin send signals to the satellite cells to move to the damaged muscle area, repair the damage following exercise, and regulate muscle mass growth, respectively.

Serotonin

A chemical responsible for happiness, restful sleep, and a healthy appetite, serotonin levels will increase if you work out regularly. Serotonin works with endorphins to make working out a pleasurable activity. In addition, more serotonin means more energy and clearer thinking.

Hormones Released After Working Out

I feel glad I did it

 

[Zoom-boing]

Great thread, pacer. Thanks for starting it.

I certainly cannot take all the credit. drifter and I came up with the idea in another forum and brought it here. I am glad you find this thread helpful, Zoom.

I too lost my mother in June of last year. It was very painful to watch her slowly deteriorate. After she died, I went through a period of feeling down about everything. I couldn't care less about myself or my appearance. I have this website to be thankful for keeping me focused and getting me out of the slump I was in. I joined in the fall and now I can't get away from it. I too need to get motivated. My problem is I spend much too much time at this computer. Once the warm weather comes, I am determined to do a lot more walking.

I didn't know this, p. I am so sorry for your loss. It is never easy even if death is a release from physical pain and even if it is, ultimately, a blessing.

Me too! I know a big part of my problem is this vortexofsuckcalledtheinternet. I'm trying to find routine again. Other than getting the two youngest out the door by 7am I have no discernible routine. It doesn't help that my oldest kid and husband's schedule changes every stinking week either!

I have found (in the past) that with exercise getting in, getting done, then moving on with my day is thee best schedule for me. If I put if off ... I'll just keep putting it off.

Oh and this too:

 

[auditor0007]

If somebody was very overweight I probably wouldn't recommend much cardio just on the basis that they might hurt themselves. I would advise they significantly increase the amount that they walk each day, but I would focus primarily on diet and then move them up to more intensive workouts.

The problem with cardio is that many people do too much. Running everyday gives no time for the body to rest and recover. You're simply keeping your body in a constant state of stress, and if you add other workouts on top of that you just compound the problem.

I disagree with this. If you want to lose weight, you need to do cardio every day. You are correct that a person should start out slow and build up, but I would recommend cardio at minimum four days per week. For those who are severely overweight, the treadmill is probably not the best way to get your cardio workout in, nor is running. Use an elliptical or ARC Trainer. The problem with running when you are very overweight is that you are risking doing damage to your knees. The Elliptical and ARC Trainer do not put much pressure on the knees and you can burn as many calories as you can running.

I need to tone up. I quit working out when my sister died in June.

All winter I ate shitty and slept all the time.

I have been eating better now and since this thread started I went to the gym one time.

My problem seems to be lethargy.

Sorry to hear about your sister. I lost my wife going on twelve years now, so I know how it is to lose someone close to you. It does take a toll and some time, but your outlook on life should improve over time. As for motivation to work out, that really is something you must find within. Nobody can force you to go to the gym or park to workout or run. It really is up to you. When I stopped smoking and started working out and running, my first immediate goal was to run and finish the local Thanksgiving Day 5K. I had just over three months to prepare. It took me one month to get to the point where I could actually run three miles without stopping, and I was fighting some bad knee pain. I really only could run two days per week, but I would work out on the ARC Trainer at the gym the other days while my knees recovered. Anyway, when it came to race day, I said I wanted to finish my first 5K in under 27 minutes. I knew I was pushing it because I had only been training for three months and my lungs were only partially on their way to recovery. I hit my first mile in 8:05 but it got tougher after that. When I hit the two mile marker, I was at 17:10 and I was struggling. I kept it up though, and crossed the finish line in 26:59, beating my goal by one whole second.

Now, I will tell you that I am quite competitive, whether it be against others or just myself. I trained the rest of the winter at the gym, and once Spring broke, I started running outside again. My knee pain was still there, but it just disappeared about two weeks after I started running outside in the Spring. I never had any swelling with the pain, so I think it was just a matter of getting my joints used to it and building the muscle around those joints. I have had no knee problems since then. As summer hit, I ran my second 5K. I wasn't certain how fast I would be, but my goal was to break 24 minutes. I did not make it. I finished in 24:45 and was very disappointed and upset. The thing was that my first mile was great. I passed the first mile marker in 7:12 or so, but then I just died the rest of the way. I still didn't have the stamina to keep up such a steady pace. In August, I ran another 5K, and that time, I did much better as my time dropped all the way down to 23:30. Now I was making some real progress. By Thanksgiving, I was ready to see how much I had improved over one full year. I finished my second Thanksgiving Day 5K in 22:11. That was nearly a 5 minute improvement over the prior year.

Since then, I have been stuck around 22 minutes. I had plantar fasciitis that lasted four months last year, so that really held me back. Anyway, I'm hoping to change my workout routine this year by doing more interval training and also doing a long run every week where I run at least ten miles. My goal now is to break 21 minutes, although I'm not sure I will ever hit that. If I do not, it won't be the end of the world. I'm enjoying running and I've made many a new friend because of it. And my health could not be better.

In the beginning, you really need to force yourself to workout or run, or whatever it is you are doing to exercise. As you begin to see positive results, it will give you more motivation to continue. Eventually it just becomes an addiction, but at least it's a good addiction.

 

[auditor0007]

Like drifter, I also lost many family members last year (sil, aunt, dad and mom between May 20 and June 10, hubs uncle late June, both my brothers had their cats put down in Oct, my mother's last living sibling her oldest sister 12/14, hubs aunt 12/24). Like many in this situation I gained some poundage.

My eating and exercise routine went out the window and after mid-July or so I found it impossible to do much of anything ... stopped exercising, stopped watching what I ate, stopped cooking, sat around most of the time. For some reason going to the grocery store became very difficult for me. I would just get so freaking sad there. Maybe because I was usually by myself and was just grieving but I avoided it as much as possible.

From Sept on tried many, many times to get some semblance of an exercise routine going and failed every time. Eating right wasn't any better. Cripes, the poor dogs have even been affected as their daily dog walks became practically non-existent.

Am slowly starting to get back to exercising and eating right. Sometimes it's two steps forward, one step backwards. I'll take that.

There are still days that I am too tired to even try. I don't know if it's still part of the grieving process or that I'm not getting enough sleep. Maybe both?

Prior to all this I had a great routine of walking/running on the treadmill (had even run 5K a few times on there!) and a variety of strength, hiit, cross training, yoga workouts plus nearly daily dog walks of 1.5 miles. Now I'm just trying to walk a brisk pace for 1/2 hour on the tm and doing some yoga and pilates to get myself moving. Some days are better than others.

I've been down this (weight loss) road before and know what it takes to see results ... it's just harder this time.

I can tell you that motivation is fleeting, determination and commitment are what will get you to your goals.

I've always been a calorie counter type because that's what works for me. 1500/day is my goal and know that once I lose even 5 lbs that often pushes me to stay on track. Also, sticking with a strict number of cals per day can cause plateaus after some time, so zig-zagging your cals (eating say 1300 one day, 1600 the next, 1450, the next, etc) can help get past that. Kind of like what interval workouts do, keep your body from becoming used to everything.

Great thread, pacer. Thanks for starting it.

After my wife died, I dated a number of women. I went through some very serious grief over the first six months, ups and downs and all. I hit bottom at around six months and then slowly began crawling out of it. After dating a couple different women, I had just broken up with this women when another woman contacted me on a dating site. There began a very interesting and wonderful relationship. While it didn't work out in the end, I will always consider her a wonderful friend. Distance was part of our problem as I was living in Denver at the time, and she lived in Glasgow. Yea, Scotland, lol. That is what you call a very very long distance relationship.

Anyway, the reason I am bringing her up is that like myself, she was also widowed. I knew that she had loved her husband dearly, but she said something to me that made me stop and think. She said that life is for the living. We cannot change it for those who are no longer with us, but we can enjoy life to its fullest while we are here, or we can wallow in our sadness.

A year after my wife died, we had another tragedy on our street. My two boys who were only 5 and 7 at the time had two friends who lived a few houses down from us. My boys were at their house almost every single day of the week. Over the July 4th holiday, their Dad took them camping. A couple days later, one of the neighbors was at my door to inform me that the two boys and their father had died in a plane crash. The father had his pilot's license and had flown them up to Idaho. As they were taking off to head home, something went wrong and the plane went down. I had to tell my boys their two best friends were gone, not quite a year after their Mom had died. The wife/mother was in Las Vegas that weekend. She had gone there for her mother's birthday, so she was not with her husband and children. She lost her entire family. I thought she would never recover, but she has remarried and she and her new husband adopted three kids.

So, while we cannot ignore grief, and it must run its course, we must also keep our grief in perspective and realize that we are still here and have a life to live. Sometimes it isn't easy, but the truth is there is more good than bad out there.

 

[auditor0007]

Like drifter, I also lost many family members last year (sil, aunt, dad and mom between May 20 and June 10, hubs uncle late June, both my brothers had their cats put down in Oct, my mother's last living sibling her oldest sister 12/14, hubs aunt 12/24). Like many in this situation I gained some poundage.

My eating and exercise routine went out the window and after mid-July or so I found it impossible to do much of anything ... stopped exercising, stopped watching what I ate, stopped cooking, sat around most of the time. For some reason going to the grocery store became very difficult for me. I would just get so freaking sad there. Maybe because I was usually by myself and was just grieving but I avoided it as much as possible.

From Sept on tried many, many times to get some semblance of an exercise routine going and failed every time. Eating right wasn't any better. Cripes, the poor dogs have even been affected as their daily dog walks became practically non-existent.

Am slowly starting to get back to exercising and eating right. Sometimes it's two steps forward, one step backwards. I'll take that.

There are still days that I am too tired to even try. I don't know if it's still part of the grieving process or that I'm not getting enough sleep. Maybe both?

Prior to all this I had a great routine of walking/running on the treadmill (had even run 5K a few times on there!) and a variety of strength, hiit, cross training, yoga workouts plus nearly daily dog walks of 1.5 miles. Now I'm just trying to walk a brisk pace for 1/2 hour on the tm and doing some yoga and pilates to get myself moving. Some days are better than others.

I've been down this (weight loss) road before and know what it takes to see results ... it's just harder this time.

I can tell you that motivation is fleeting, determination and commitment are what will get you to your goals.

I've always been a calorie counter type because that's what works for me. 1500/day is my goal and know that once I lose even 5 lbs that often pushes me to stay on track. Also, sticking with a strict number of cals per day can cause plateaus after some time, so zig-zagging your cals (eating say 1300 one day, 1600 the next, 1450, the next, etc) can help get past that. Kind of like what interval workouts do, keep your body from becoming used to everything.

Great thread, pacer. Thanks for starting it.

I'm not big on counting calories but everyone has to do what works best for them. I eat over 3000 calories per day. That's about all the counting I need to do. One thing that I have heard and know works for many people is to have what is known as a cheat day, one day per week. Basically, you eat what you want on that day and ignore your calorie count. Just don't get stupid with it. The point is to trick the body into believing it is not being starved. If you limit calories all the time, the body will go into starvation mode and hoard all fat stores because it believes it is being starved. By having a cheat day, the body relaxes and you will get a much greater benefit from all the days where you are cutting calories. It's similar to what you said about changing the calorie counts from day to day, but this is a bit more drastic.

 

[auditor0007]

Great thread, pacer. Thanks for starting it.

I certainly cannot take all the credit. drifter and I came up with the idea in another forum and brought it here. I am glad you find this thread helpful, Zoom.

I too lost my mother in June of last year. It was very painful to watch her slowly deteriorate. After she died, I went through a period of feeling down about everything. I couldn't care less about myself or my appearance. I have this website to be thankful for keeping me focused and getting me out of the slump I was in. I joined in the fall and now I can't get away from it. I too need to get motivated. My problem is I spend much too much time at this computer. Once the warm weather comes, I am determined to do a lot more walking.

I didn't know this, p. I am so sorry for your loss. It is never easy even if death is a release from physical pain and even if it is, ultimately, a blessing.

Me too! I know a big part of my problem is this vortexofsuckcalledtheinternet. I'm trying to find routine again. Other than getting the two youngest out the door by 7am I have no discernible routine. It doesn't help that my oldest kid and husband's schedule changes every stinking week either!

I have found (in the past) that with exercise getting in, getting done, then moving on with my day is thee best schedule for me. If I put if off ... I'll just keep putting it off.

Oh and this too:

I keep missing that ab exercise, lol. I guess that is why I can't seem to drop those last two inches from my gut. My biggest issue is that I really do not want to drop too many more pounds. I'm 5'7" and I'm at 139 lbs right now. According to my scale, my body fat percentage is between 16 and 17 percent. The thing is besides that extra couple of inches on my waistline, I'm fairly slender.

 

[Sarah G]

I found another app that shows your pulse while you're working out.

https://www.google.com/search?sourc...your+pulse&gs_l=hp....0.0.0.10205...........0.

 

[pacer]

I didn't know this, p. I am so sorry for your loss. It is never easy even if death is a release from physical pain and even if it is, ultimately, a blessing.

Me too! I know a big part of my problem is this vortexofsuckcalledtheinternet. I'm trying to find routine again. Other than getting the two youngest out the door by 7am I have no discernible routine. It doesn't help that my oldest kid and husband's schedule changes every stinking week either!

I have found (in the past) that with exercise getting in, getting done, then moving on with my day is thee best schedule for me. If I put if off ... I'll just keep putting it off.

I too am very sorry for your loss, Zoom. Huggies to you. It is never easy, as you say. I tried preparing myself emotionally for my mother's passing during the months I spent caring for her but when the evitable day came, I was emotionally overwhelmed. Since her passing, I seem to have lost my zest for life. But, I am determined to break the internet habit and get out and do things come the warmer weather. I only need to take the first step and not get on this computer in the morning with my coffee.

 

[Zoom-boing]

I recently treated myself to an ipod touch 5th gen (had Target gift cards, they had a $30 gift card with the pod, I used my daughters employee discount, so I got the pod and two cases for $155. Not too shabby!).

Anyway, there are lots and lots of apps out there. I downloaded a few ... Waterlogged keeps track of how much water you've had for the day; Lose It! is like FitDay or any number of apps that allow you to keep track of food and cals eaten for the day and there's also a place to enter exercise in; Daily Yoga gives different yoga routines and includes a good amount of beginner exercises; Blogilates has a boatload of various exercise routines covers nearly everything. I've done some of her stuff previously; Zombies Run I accidentally bought this (which is one of the reasons I decided to get the ipod touch so I could use the app) and am going to try this in a bit. Anyone else use it?; Interval Timer is just that, an interval timer you can set to do hiit intervals or walk/run intervals, etc; some exercise and weight loss hypnosis apps. All these apps are the free version (I like to try stuff out before spending any money).

I used the water app and food app yesterday. Drank 64oz and stayed under the cals. Baby steps, one day at a time.

The past two days I've felt better (physically, mentally, emotionally) than I have the past 10 months. It is helping tremendously that the weather is finally, FINALLY improving. Longest freaking winter of my life.

One day at a time.

 

[Sarah G]

I recently treated myself to an ipod touch 5th gen (had Target gift cards, they had a $30 gift card with the pod, I used my daughters employee discount, so I got the pod and two cases for $155. Not too shabby!).

Anyway, there are lots and lots of apps out there. I downloaded a few ... Waterlogged keeps track of how much water you've had for the day; Lose It! is like FitDay or any number of apps that allow you to keep track of food and cals eaten for the day and there's also a place to enter exercise in; Daily Yoga gives different yoga routines and includes a good amount of beginner exercises; Blogilates has a boatload of various exercise routines covers nearly everything. I've done some of her stuff previously; Zombies Run I accidentally bought this (which is one of the reasons I decided to get the ipod touch so I could use the app) and am going to try this in a bit. Anyone else use it?; Interval Timer is just that, an interval timer you can set to do hiit intervals or walk/run intervals, etc; some exercise and weight loss hypnosis apps. All these apps are the free version (I like to try stuff out before spending any money).

I used the water app and food app yesterday. Drank 64oz and stayed under the cals. Baby steps, one day at a time.

The past two days I've felt better (physically, mentally, emotionally) than I have the past 10 months. It is helping tremendously that the weather is finally, FINALLY improving. Longest freaking winter of my life.

One day at a time.

Some of those apps are really good. I don't know what it is about water but when I start drinking a lot, I feel so much better.