I'm sorry you've had such problems. Women feeling obligated to be stereotypically girly is another side of the coin.
Healthy people just focus on being good people and doing what they enjoy. They don't fixate on "manly" or "womanly". It's only the betas, charlies and deltas who aren't confident in themselves, and are constantly trying to overcompensate. Think of the dude showing off the fast car, and the jokes people tell about what his real problem is.
Healthy people don't view Gender as a Social Construct. They accept that Biology is real.
Biology is real, but most individual traits are not dictated by gender. One's desire to work on cars or write poetry has nothing biologically to do with their gender, but may be influenced by the social construct aspect of gender.
So gender is more than biology. Rewriting gender roles has to do with changing the social construct aspect of gender.