Every day I ask God what he wants me to do with my life...

[jwoodie]

First, get your meds in order. You may need to try different ones and/or adjust the dosage. You know more about your body than anyone else does, including your doctor.

Secondly, look inward as to the source of happiness/contentment. The world is a wonderous place, and you are not defined by others. Raise your hopes, but reduce your expectations.

I enjoy your participation on this site, so keep it up!

 

[surada]

...I never get an answer.

Does he want me to work at a job I don't really like, writing legal briefs for clients I don't care about, to earn money so I can eat and pay my bills?

I write stories which sometimes I finish, but the chances of getting published are practically nil, and people don't seem to like my stories that much anyway.

I'm divorced, and I still sleep on the right side of the bed, keeping the left side open for a woman who will never come back.

My three children are grown and moved out. I rarely see my first daughter, see the second daughter when she wants money, and my son I see when we watch cartoons together or play Dungeons and Dragons.

I'm fifty-five years old and I might live another thirty years, but it seems more of a curse than a blessing to live so long with nothing to do in my life but get older.

My children are unmarried, it looks like they may never get married, and I think there's a good chance I won't have grandchildren.

I still believe in God, but it seems that my existence is pointless, and my religion offers me nothing in the way of comfort.

I've joined a few dating websites, like Match and Elite, but none of the women I see there are even slightly appealing to me. They all say they like walking on the beach under the moonlight, want to travel to extravagant locations, and put up photos of their dogs and cats. I realize that the brainless cheerfulness that is charming in a young woman is pathetic when a woman grows old.

I never thought I'd be alone at this stage in my life, but I am. My ex-wife hovers in my life, cleaning my home, coming over to watch TV with me once or twice a week, but then goes home to another man's house. I have no idea what she wants from me, am I her emergency escape hatch in case the other man kicks her out? I don't know and since we never communicate, there's no way to find out.

As a young man I had big dreams, but somehow none of them worked out. I live in a three-bedroom house in a neighborhood that's a bit run-down, I have a job I don't like, I own a moderately-priced car that's decaying with age, and I have a bunch of bills to pay and debts to pay off.

I'm at the end of my rope, but the rope doesn't end, I may exist on this planet for another thirty years. Some people will say I should count my blessings, be grateful to God for what I have, but I don't and I'm not.

I put this in Religion section because my problem is spiritual. I feel empty inside and I don't think it's just the bipolarism talking, I think an honest appraisal of my situation is that there is no point in my continued existence on this planet. However, please don't worry about me or think you have to talk me out of suicide. I could never do that to my family.

Which leads me back to my original point, what does God want me to do with my life? I ask myself that question every morning when I take a shower. Why? If I get an answer to that question, will my life become meaningful again? Does God want me to abandon my attorney job and do something else? Would I be happy if I did something else?

I think of all the typical tasks God asks people who serve him do and I wonder. I can't be a priest because I'm divorced and in the Church's eyes still married to my ex-wife. Should I be a teacher? I couldn't teach in a public school but a private school or a Catholic school might hire me. Should I get a job in writing, which is my real love? Should I go to a foreign country and get a job there?

I think that God wants me to get out of my rut. With my marriage ended and my children grown, my old life is over. But I am still in my old house, surrounded by things that remind me of my old life. My ex-wife still comes over from time to time to decorate my house to her liking. It's like she wants to cling to the life we had, even though she left me for another man. I still love her, so I don't have the courage to tell her to really leave me. But I think her continued presence in my life is holding me back. And, if she really did leave for good, my loneliness would increase.

I'm not looking for pity, but I could use some advice. Those of you who take this opportunity to mock me because I've opened up like this, I will put on Ignore.

You must choose happiness. Clearly your ex wife still cares for you. Another woman will also care if you can stop with the sad sack routine. Take a class. Join a church. Take up SCUBA diving. Take a trip to Belize or Honduras. Hike the ruins. Bless you, good luck and be happy.

 

[surada]

Here is want the New Testament says regarding marriage among Christians.
When a woman marries, the law binds her to her husband as long as he is alive. But if he dies, the laws of marriage no longer apply to her. So while her husband is alive, she would be committing adultery if she married another man. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law and does not commit adultery when she remarries. (Romans 7:2–3)

A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. (1 Corinthians 7:39)

Cut the crap. They are divorced.

 

[Cecilie1200]

...I never get an answer.

Does he want me to work at a job I don't really like, writing legal briefs for clients I don't care about, to earn money so I can eat and pay my bills?

I write stories which sometimes I finish, but the chances of getting published are practically nil, and people don't seem to like my stories that much anyway.

I'm divorced, and I still sleep on the right side of the bed, keeping the left side open for a woman who will never come back.

My three children are grown and moved out. I rarely see my first daughter, see the second daughter when she wants money, and my son I see when we watch cartoons together or play Dungeons and Dragons.

I'm fifty-five years old and I might live another thirty years, but it seems more of a curse than a blessing to live so long with nothing to do in my life but get older.

My children are unmarried, it looks like they may never get married, and I think there's a good chance I won't have grandchildren.

I still believe in God, but it seems that my existence is pointless, and my religion offers me nothing in the way of comfort.

I've joined a few dating websites, like Match and Elite, but none of the women I see there are even slightly appealing to me. They all say they like walking on the beach under the moonlight, want to travel to extravagant locations, and put up photos of their dogs and cats. I realize that the brainless cheerfulness that is charming in a young woman is pathetic when a woman grows old.

I never thought I'd be alone at this stage in my life, but I am. My ex-wife hovers in my life, cleaning my home, coming over to watch TV with me once or twice a week, but then goes home to another man's house. I have no idea what she wants from me, am I her emergency escape hatch in case the other man kicks her out? I don't know and since we never communicate, there's no way to find out.

As a young man I had big dreams, but somehow none of them worked out. I live in a three-bedroom house in a neighborhood that's a bit run-down, I have a job I don't like, I own a moderately-priced car that's decaying with age, and I have a bunch of bills to pay and debts to pay off.

I'm at the end of my rope, but the rope doesn't end, I may exist on this planet for another thirty years. Some people will say I should count my blessings, be grateful to God for what I have, but I don't and I'm not.

I put this in Religion section because my problem is spiritual. I feel empty inside and I don't think it's just the bipolarism talking, I think an honest appraisal of my situation is that there is no point in my continued existence on this planet. However, please don't worry about me or think you have to talk me out of suicide. I could never do that to my family.

Which leads me back to my original point, what does God want me to do with my life? I ask myself that question every morning when I take a shower. Why? If I get an answer to that question, will my life become meaningful again? Does God want me to abandon my attorney job and do something else? Would I be happy if I did something else?

I think of all the typical tasks God asks people who serve him do and I wonder. I can't be a priest because I'm divorced and in the Church's eyes still married to my ex-wife. Should I be a teacher? I couldn't teach in a public school but a private school or a Catholic school might hire me. Should I get a job in writing, which is my real love? Should I go to a foreign country and get a job there?

I think that God wants me to get out of my rut. With my marriage ended and my children grown, my old life is over. But I am still in my old house, surrounded by things that remind me of my old life. My ex-wife still comes over from time to time to decorate my house to her liking. It's like she wants to cling to the life we had, even though she left me for another man. I still love her, so I don't have the courage to tell her to really leave me. But I think her continued presence in my life is holding me back. And, if she really did leave for good, my loneliness would increase.

I'm not looking for pity, but I could use some advice. Those of you who take this opportunity to mock me because I've opened up like this, I will put on Ignore.

I mean this in all seriousness, and with a great deal of love and compassion: I think you're not getting an answer from God because you're asking the wrong questions. It sounds like you're giving Him a limited selection of options, all based on your feelings. "Should I do this thing to be happy, or should I do that thing to be happy?" What you should be asking Him is, "Lord, what is Your will? Show me how to serve You better and be closer to You." And be genuinely open to the answer. Don't be surprised if it has nothing at all to do with your job or how you make money. Maybe He wants you to be more mindful of the people around you and reach out to them with His love; maybe (almost certainly, no matter what else you do) He wants you to focus on the state of your own soul. God calls relatively few people to be clergy; He calls all of us to be His witnesses.

I will say, on a note unrelated to religious matters, that you need to broom your ex from your life as of yesterday. She decided she didn't want to be married to you, then she needs to be gone. In or out, piss or get off the pot. Tell her in no uncertain terms that she is not your wife and she needs to go live the life she said she wanted, because she's superfluous to requirements around your place. And then stand firm in that.

Also, get out of your own head. My dude, you are sitting around staring at your own belly button and marinating in your depression. I don't say that as an insult; everyone does that after a relationship ends. But STOP IT! Get up, get out, go do something. Volunteer at a homeless shelter, read books to the blind, clean up fricking litter on the side of the road. I don't care what it is. But go out and put some of the energy you're spending running on the endless hamster wheel of your problems toward helping others. Nothing blows out the cobwebs like helping other people. I think you'll eventually be amazed how new your perspective on your own issues becomes when you stop thinking about them for a while.

 

[Cecilie1200]

at this point there is a fine line between mocking you and trying to help you....first i do not share your religion ...but you have to ask...if my religion failing me or am i failing my religion...why dont you get out and do some volunteer work...at a food bank...something like that...meeting people is esp hard right now....but you may find if you just take a few steps to volunteer at something...a local humane etc...do you have a pet? pets are a great companion and do help one with their depression or mental issues....hell i have 6...and another thing its okay to be lonely ..its okay to be alone...there is a difference...

why are you letting your ex mess with you? this is kinda a twilight zone you dont deserve...why is she coming over to your place that yall use to share and then going home to her new man? grown ass kids are a pain...

get a quiet hobby for me....bird watching....i feed birds etc..its quiet and i enjoy it...

why dont you move outta that house..its a sellers market right now...a pro when you are selling....a con when you are buying a new place...its just memories holding you back...

change jobs....if you dont need the income....just change to a job you may enjoy...regardless of how it pays or how socially acceptable it is....run away...join the circus.....like you said you got 3 more decades ...make the most of them...find some bimbo spend your money on her....you might be surprised how much you would enjoy someone different...and i know there are women at church...but you have to move on from the ex....that is holding you back emotionally and all...you cant see yourself doing much cause you wont move on...

and again the more time you spend on the net...the more depressed it will make you ...i never imagined i would spend my years sitting on the back porch watching birds trying to stay alive but here we are....

You and I are coming from different directions, but we ended up in the same place. (I wouldn't have gone with the bimbo, but okay.) Getting out of your own head is key.

 

[Cecilie1200]

i have never understood people staying friends with the ex...they are an ex for a reason

I'm friends with several of my exes. However, they are EXES. Once they decide they are gone, they don't get to come around and play house.

 

[Fort Fun Indiana]

There's an even simpler explanation for why you're not getting an answer...

 

[ChemEngineer]

Because He doesn't exist.

Let's Examine Claims of Atheists

AreAtheistsRight.blogspot.com

Proof There Is No God

ProofThereIsNoGod.blogspot.com

It is amusing that you confer a proper noun status, capitalized "He" to the Creator you claim does not exist. Similarly, agnostic Carl Sagan, who railed against God in his books had his memorial service at St. John the Divine Church in New York City.

My book, describing the wonders of Nature's God, as He is called in America's Declaration of Independence.

Brilliant Creations - The Wonder of Nature and Life

BrilliantCreations-TheWonder.blogspot.com

 

[Fort Fun Indiana]

It is amusing that you confer a proper noun status, capitalized "He" to the Creator you claim does not exist.

Because it is convention. You, having no good points, are trying to make hay out of it.

 

[BreezeWood]

Let's Examine Claims of Atheists

AreAtheistsRight.blogspot.com

Proof There Is No God

ProofThereIsNoGod.blogspot.com

It is amusing that you confer a proper noun status, capitalized "He" to the Creator you claim does not exist. Similarly, agnostic Carl Sagan, who railed against God in his books had his memorial service at St. John the Divine Church in New York City.

My book, describing the wonders of Nature's God, as He is called in America's Declaration of Independence.

Brilliant Creations - The Wonder of Nature and Life

BrilliantCreations-TheWonder.blogspot.com

There was no 40 day flood.

My book, describing the wonders of Nature's God, as He (they are) is called in America's Declaration of Independence.

as devoid of the desert religions, christianity as purposefully possible ... despite their claims otherwise.

 

[beautress]

Blackrook, we don't always understand why stuff seems to separate us from God's goodness. I understand loss. It was hard in my case when my husband of 44 absolutely wonderful years of our life got dementia and died from its complications 7 years later. I know he hated his disease, and so did I. God knows before we are born when we leave our mother's womb to be born into a much cooler, less friendly environment. Ideally, our parents make sure we are fed, clothed, and loved dearly. When things go well for us, they proudly rejoice. When things don't so good, they cry in one way or another.

God loves us unconditionally. He is there when we call on him. And whether we believe it or not, he hears us clearly even when we feel isolated from his lovingkindness. He loves us rain or shine, well or ill, happy or sad. His love for you cannot be measured. Do what you can to reestablish your trus. Divorces are hard as death is, and it's absolutely at least as bad if not worse than what seems a cruel death of a partner we once cared for.

You only have to do one thing: trust in God, trust in God, trust in God. Parents are mortal, and usually pass before we do, which can leave a heartache if we deeply love them. If we call on God, he will eventually comfort us of all our losses. The secret is to know God is on your side and will lift you up, regardless of where fault is asserted. If you are still breathing, God loves you, believe in him. He will lift you up when you believe in him and he will take your burden off if you let him.

I don't know how much time you have to spare or if you are spending time with children after hours, or if you have commitments that take away time for yourself. To reconnectwith God, I found a place online you can go to find 150 Bible verses that might lift you up: 150 Encouraging Bible Verses About God's Love For Us

You might also have special interests in knowing God, so type it into your search engine to read the kind of scriptures you are comfortable with.

It's all good once you call upon God in prayer. Again, do what you can to trust in God. That trust is a must. I'm praying for you to love and help yourself. Yes, God loves you because he gave you a gift of his love if ever you decided to call on him when you first realized how great his love is for you. It's time for my vespers right now. I'll play for Blackrook, first. God knows who you are. And he will sustain you when you trust in Him. Please forgive any typos I may have made that may make my words hard to understand. Again, trust in God. In his love, beautress.