Votto
Diamond Member
- Oct 31, 2012
- 69,461
- 78,571
- 3,605
Elizabeth Warren Proudly Displays Scalp Of Spirit Airlines
Politics·May 4, 2026 · BabylonBee.comWASHINGTON, D.C. — Senator Elizabeth Warren was seen riding into town Monday morning bearing the scalp of her defeated enemy, Spirit Airlines.
The senator from Massachusetts previously opposed a merger between JetBlue and Spirit Airlines, arguing that Spirit Airlines "made mockery of Great Spirit" and only its defeat would "bring'em return of buffalo."
"Me no make'em deal with palefaces," Warren said at the time. "Call for anti-trust. Me anti-trust white man."
At the time, others argued in favor of the merger, saying it would save thousands of jobs and enable the two budget airlines to join forces against the "Big Four" — American, Delta, United, and Southwest Airlines — to increase competition in the industry.
Nevertheless, Warren persisted with the heart of a fierce brave.
With the merger dissolved, Warren reportedly waited patiently for the business to weaken before she pounced on it with a band of warriors who slew it with many arrows. Sources confirmed Warren let out a chilling "death whoop" as she scalped the airline.
"Injun justice!" Warren cried out, raising the scalp aloft as she rode back into D.C.
At publishing time, Warren had mounted the scalp in her office as a warning to other white man businesses.