DOW plunges 700 points after USAID and Federal Bureaucracy cuts by DOGE

[Votto]

The Trump administration today held a news conference regarding the USAID cuts and Federal jobs purge causing a 700-point drop in the DOW. "I'm afraid the situation is dire", said spokesperson Karoline Leavitt of the Trump administration. "As we got to digging further and further into AI and where all the payments were going, it turns out that USAID and the entire 2 million plus employees of the Federal Branch were funding the entire private sector. In fact, they had apparently been doing so since the founding of the country in 1776 by their clandestine existence before anyone even admitted they existed. In fact, you might say that the private sector never really existed at all"

"What does this exactly mean for the US economy then?" asked one reporter.

"Well, it is far worse than just the US economy", said Karoline. "It turns out that they were funding the entire world economy as well. I mean, there were signs we missed that indicated this because we knew the Federal apparatus had been literally funding every man, woman and child on the planet for some time, we just had no idea to what extent that they were funding them as they basically were funding their entire existence and meaning of life for these people as they literally have no hope in life now and no reason to carry on thanks to DOGE."

"Does this mean the country will now go into a worldwide depression?" asked the reporter.

"Well, I wish that was our only concern", said Karoline. "Scientists have also notified us that there now appears to be cracks in the matrix of how the universe works. Formulas for such things as Einstein formula for General Relativity and Newtons Second law of motion appear not to be working after DOGE has defunded USAID and the entire Federal Bureaucracy."

It was at this time that Karoline began to cry stating, "We here in the Trump administration are a little red faced about the fallout from all these cuts. Upon further investigation, DOGE revealed that God himself was receiving funds to the tune of a trillion dollars, which in hindsight, was probably a pretty good deal but now he has walked away from his job. Anyone here interested in applying for it?"

 

[Manonthestreet]

View attachment 1081805

The Trump administration today held a news conference regarding the USAID cuts and Federal jobs purge causing a 700-point drop in the DOW. "I'm afraid the situation is dire", said spokesperson Karoline Leavitt of the Trump administration. "As we got to digging further and further into AI and where all the payments were going, it turns out that USAID and the entire 2 million plus employees of the Federal Branch were funding the entire private sector. In fact, they had apparently been doing so since the founding of the country in 1776 by their clandestine existence before anyone even admitted they existed. In fact, you might say that the private sector never really existed at all"

"What does this exactly mean for the US economy then?" asked one reporter.

"Well, it is far worse than just the US economy", said Karoline. "It turns out that they were funding the entire world economy as well. I mean, there were signs we missed that indicated this because we knew the Federal apparatus had been literally funding every man, woman and child on the planet for some time, we just had no idea to what extent that they were funding them as they basically were funding their entire existence and meaning of life for these people as they literally have no hope in life now and no reason to carry on thanks to DOGE."

"Does this mean the country will now go into a worldwide depression?" asked the reporter.

"Well, I wish that was our only concern", said Karoline. "Scientists have also notified us that there now appears to be cracks in the matrix of how the universe works. Formulas for such things as Einstein formula for General Relativity and Newtons Second law of motion appear not to be working after DOGE has defunded USAID and the entire Federal Bureaucracy."

It was at this time that Karoline began to cry stating, "We here in the Trump administration are a little red faced about the fallout from all these cuts. Upon further investigation, DOGE revealed that God himself was receiving funds to the tune of a trillion dollars, which in hindsight, was probably a pretty good deal but now he has walked away from his job. Anyone here interested in applying for it?"

funding the entire world

 

[Crepitus]

The market really did fall like a rock yesterday and continues the tumble in after hours trading.

I do not see anything funny here.

As usual I'm afraid. You just don't "get" humor.

 

[Votto]

The market really did fall like a rock yesterday and continues the tumble in after hours trading.

I do not see anything funny here.

As usual I'm afraid. You just don't "get" humor.

The economy of the US has been propped up by massive government spending so long by both parties, it is hard to tell what exactly will happen when the tap is turned off.

But look at it this way, the country either comes to term with the massive debt by cutting off spending, or they come to terms with it by continuing business as usual as inflation devalues every dollar the country has made till it is completely worthless.

Either way, what did the country in was the massive spending, not Trump, although I'm sure it is every Leftists dream that the country implode while Trump is in power.

Maybe they even let him win so he could be in charge of the implosion. It would explain a lot in terms of the ineptitude of the previous Presidential campaign. The DNC can't really be that inept and restarted, can they?

 

[SassyIrishLass]

There's going to be some pain as the waste and corruption is exposed

 

[Crepitus]

The economy of the US has been propped up by massive government spending so long by both parties, it is hard to tell what exactly will happen when the tap is turned off.

But look at it this way, the country either comes to term with the massive debt by cutting off spending, or they come to terms with it by continuing business as usual as inflation devalues every dollar the country has made till it is completely worthless.

Either way, what did the country in was the massive spending, not Trump, although I'm sure it is every Leftists dream that the country implode while Trump is in power.

Maybe they even let him win so he could be in charge of the implosion. It would explain a lot in terms of the ineptitude of the previous Presidential campaign. The DNC can't really be that inept and restarted, can they?

 

[Delldude]

The market really did fall like a rock yesterday and continues the tumble in after hours trading.

I do not see anything funny here.

As usual I'm afraid. You just don't "get" humor.

Whatever you do don't tell us why it fell.

 

[Crepitus]

Whatever you do don't tell us why it fell.

tRump's policies are bound to trigger inflation.

That's why it fell. That's why it is continuing to fall.

 

[Delldude]

tRump's policies are bound to trigger inflation.

That's why it fell. That's why it is continuing to fall.

You stick with that.