Common Sense Obituary

Auld Phart

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Mar 3, 2013
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An Obituary published in the London Times


Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
– Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
– Why the early bird gets the worm;
– Life isn’t always fair;
– And maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death,
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 5 stepchildren;
– I Know My Rights
– I Want It Now
– Someone Else Is To Blame
– I’m A Victim
– Pay me for Doing Nothing
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.


not really all that funny, is it?
 
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– Life isn’t always fair;
– And maybe it was my fault.
Teachers are damned when they teach that to innocent schoolchildren.
a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;
The proper response to that is extreme, and does not involve tolerating the existence of that sort of “community” in any way, shape, or form.
 
Common Sense says Trump lost the election by a wide margin

I've never met anyone with a more acute case of TDS. If someone were to discuss different types of carpeting you'd find some reason to criticize Trump for carpeting.

People like you place your ignorance out there for all to see, though, so I guess we can thank you for that...
 
Common Sense says Trump lost the election by a wide margin

I've never met anyone with a more acute case of TDS. If someone were to discuss different types of carpeting you'd find some reason to criticize Trump for carpeting.

People like you place your ignorance out there for all to see, though, so I guess we can thank you for that...

Common Sense says Trump was the worst suited man ever to be President
 
Common Sense says Trump lost the election by a wide margin
Common sense also said Russia did not cost Hillary the 2016 election and that a totally partisan impeachment attempt would fail.
Common Sense says Republicans would look the other way if Trump shot someone on Fifth Avenue
Common sense says Democrats would do the same if twenty witnesses said he didn't and we had unedited video of the shooting from start to finish to back up their claim. You can keep doing this silly partisan shit the rest of the night if you want I'm going to get ready to watch some college football.
 
Common Sense says Trump lost the election by a wide margin
Are you trying to convince us or yourself?....

No need to convince the sane people. We already know. Why bother trying to convince the Trump cult crazies? Facts mean nothing to you anyway.
I don't think I ever met an insane person that didn't think he was sane....

Yep. Members of the Trump cult all think that falling for every conspiracy theory that comes along is perfectly sane.
 
Common Sense says Trump lost the election by a wide margin

I've never met anyone with a more acute case of TDS. If someone were to discuss different types of carpeting you'd find some reason to criticize Trump for carpeting.

People like you place your ignorance out there for all to see, though, so I guess we can thank you for that...

Common Sense says Trump was the worst suited man ever to be President

You're Rain Man...
 
Common Sense says Trump lost the election by a wide margin
Are you trying to convince us or yourself?....

Wait.....let’s ask the Electoral College shall we?


They say Biden won 306-232
You sound a little bit uncertain....maybe its your subhuman conscious speaking....

Better yet.....let’s ask Georgia

Trump demands a recount.....they say you still lost
Trump demands a second Recount.....they say you still lost
Trump says “I’ll sue”.......The court says you have no evidence
Trump says “I’ll go to the SUPREME COURT”......Supreme court says you still have no evidence
 
Trump demands a recount.....they say you still lost
Trump demands a second Recount.....they say you still lost
Trump says “I’ll sue”.......The court says you have no evidence
Trump says “I’ll go to the SUPREME COURT”......Supreme court says you still have no evidence
It's pitchfork time. High time to turn over the D.C. dungheap called “government” in the United States.
 
a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate
Funny thing about that. Patti Romo and I were in the 6th grade( mid to later 1960's or so) and she kept raising her dress up real quick like and flashing her panties at me. I hadn't quite got interested in girls by then, that was in the eighth grade. Also she was flat as a rail and real skinny. So she kept doing it and said "Whore!" and the little brat told the teacher on me. True story. So the teacher makes me go to the principal's office and he finds out what I did. He's mad and he picks up the phone after looking up a number and tells me he's calling my mother and I have to tell her what I did. He's hands me the phone and it's my mom and she asks what happened. I told her I called patty Romo a whore. She says ok, I'll see you later and hangs up. I think that made the principal even madder!

Footnote: FF to the ninth grade and we were in a class together and I tried to talk to her, but she held a grudge! She was really filling out too! Oh well.
 
Trump demands a recount.....they say you still lost
Trump demands a second Recount.....they say you still lost
Trump says “I’ll sue”.......The court says you have no evidence
Trump says “I’ll go to the SUPREME COURT”......Supreme court says you still have no evidence
It's pitchfork time. High time to turn over the D.C. dungheap called “government” in the United States.
Better yet....let’s go to DC and ask AG Bill Barr

What say you Bill?
Yea.....Trump lost
 

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