It's NOT my fault! It is Trump's Fault!
He made the deal to leave Afghanistan.
So President Trump was the president who coordinated a plan to leave Afghanistan, not you?
- Yes...ummm, NO, wait. I was the one who came up with the idea. We also had a great plan for a photo op.
Did President Trump remove all troops out of Afghanistan before evacuating Americans and allies?
- Umm, NO, but....
Did President Trump tell you to do so?
- Well, NO, but...
Did President Trump ignore warnings that the Taliban were quickly sweeping across Afghanistan?
- NO, but...
Did Trump tell you to ignore the military and Intel that the Talban would take over quickly?
- NO, but....
Did President Trump give the order to surrender Bagram Air Base before the evacuation was complete?
- Not exactly...
Not exactly or NO?
- No, but...
Did President Trump tell you to abandon the prison on Bagram Air Base before the evacuation was complete?
- Umm, NO, but you see...
Did President Trump refuse to secure Kabul until the evacuation was over?
- No...
Did President Trump ever tell you to hand Kabul over to the Talban during the evacuation?
- No, but wait, I...
Did President Trump tell you to endanger the evacuation by trusting the Talban to defend and protect Americans and allies evacuating?
- No, but....
Did President Trump tell the military NOT to leave the airport?
- Now wait a minute...
Yes or no, sir?
- No, but....
Did President Trump tell the military to protect an airport no one could get to?
- No, that was...
Did President Trump decided to tell the military NOT to help Americans and allies trying to make it to the airport?
- No, but Blinken said...
Were you told that Americans were being blocked from reaching the airport and beaten by the Taliban?
- How I was supposed to know my CIA and military weren't making that up?
Did you investigate any of the Afghanis before letting them on flights to America?
- YES, yes I did do that!
How?
- I asked them if they were Taliban, Al Qaeda, or ISIS 1st?
Did you promise not to leave Afghanistan until all Americans were evacuated? Did you then strand Americans in Afghanistan?
- We did not 'strand' anyone in Afghanistan - Ask WH person Psaki. She'll tell you. Everyone who stayed wanted to stay.
What about the Americans on the internet pleading to be rescued?
- They are dog faced pony soldiers. They're not really in Afghanistan. They're being filmed from Trump's basement.
- Is it hot in here?
Sir?
- I'm hot...and I feel like a popsicle
A popsicle?
- Yeah, like a popsicle. You know how they get when they are left out in the heat and start to melt....
- T
hey go all blaaaaaaaaah......
(--Quick! Cut off his mike!)
Ok, I think we are done here...