Being on disability and relationship

[MayorQuimby]

Im on disability but wish to get into a relationship.

Question: Should I hide the fact from potential partners? If not, how should I broach the topic?

Btw, I was using my bus pass, it was one of those special kind for the disabled folk, a guy saw and never talked to me again. So the stigma is real, hence the topic. Thanks.

 

[JOSweetHeart]

All that you can do is be honest and straightforward with everyone that you have anything to do with.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

 

[lith leo]

All that you can do is be honest and straightforward with everyone that you have anything to do with.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

As I read that OP--that appears to be the case.

 

[ChristisKing]

As I read that OP--that appears to be the case.

What's so funny? I have a disability myself. You really need to grow up. As for the OP, it's like JOSweetHeart already said. Just be honest and be yourself.

 

[MayorQuimby]

What's so funny? I have a disability myself. You really need to grow up. As for the OP, it's like JOSweetHeart already said. Just be honest and be yourself.

Thanks for the reply but it's never as simple as that. There are conditions so stigmatized that as soon as you tell them, they head out the door. Hence the thread. It's a real dilemma for me.

 

[lith leo]

What's so funny? I have a disability myself. You really need to grow up. As for the OP, it's like JOSweetHeart already said. Just be honest and be yourself.

Where did I indicate it's funny? I agree that he should hide that bus pass. Sheesh.

 

[ChristisKing]

Thanks for the reply but it's never as simple as that. There are conditions so stigmatized that as soon as you tell them, they head out the door. Hence the thread. It's a real dilemma for me.

Do you mind if I ask you what your disability is? Or is that too personal? I have learning developmental disabilities myself.

 

[ChristisKing]

Where did I indicate it's funny? I agree that he should hide that bus pass. Sheesh.

You laughed at his OP and why should he hide anything?

 

[lith leo]

You laughed at his OP and why should he hide anything?

I did not laugh. Are you dyslexic or something?

 

[MayorQuimby]

Do you mind if I ask you what your disability is? Or is that too personal? I have learning developmental disabilities myself.

It's OK, you can ask. Mine is schizophrenia. However, people normally would not be able to tell, they only know that I am using the special bus pass, which tells them that I am disabled, but they don't know in what way.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

It's OK, you can ask. Mine is schizophrenia. However, people normally would not be able to tell, they only know that I am using the special bus pass, which tells them that I am disabled, but they don't know in what way.

Seems like the initial idea is that it might be a mental disability. I was in a relationship (after a fashion) with a man that had schizophrenia. It did not end well.

 

[maj]

I knew a guy who got a disability from his name alone.

You've heard of parents naming their kids all kinds of crazy things. I can't remember this guy's full name, but it started with Z-a-f.

He was so mocked, that he tried to pretend it was unisex. That did not work, so he just pretended to be a woman. It was bizarre. It never did work, and he developed a sleep disorder. He started using the computer 20 hours/day, which made his insomnia worse.

 

[maj]

I will agree with the one poster. Not only hold your head high, but hold your ambulatory devices high.

 

[maj]

Seems like the initial idea is that it might be a mental disability. I was in a relationship (after a fashion) with a man that had schizophrenia. It did not end well.

Not commenting on your situation, but schizophrenia in general. This is this misconception that schizophrenia is multiple personality. It is not that, of course. I worked with both as a college intern.

 

[MayorQuimby]

Not commenting on your situation, but schizophrenia in general. This is this misconception that schizophrenia is multiple personality. It is not that, of course. I worked with both as a college intern.

As far as I know, schizophrenia really has to do with losing touch with reality. I don't have it, though.

 

[braalian]

Should I hide the fact from potential partners?

Obviously not.

Unless you’re looking for a one night stand hookup, how does that play out in any sort of LTR?

You’re going to pretend to have a job? How far are you going to take it?

Drive to the library or park and sit around for eight hours? Make up fake coworkers to tell stories about?

Sounds like George Costanza from Seinfeld

 

[Muhammed]

Im on disability but wish to get into a relationship.

Question: Should I hide the fact from potential partners? If not, how should I broach the topic?

Btw, I was using my bus pass, it was one of those special kind for the disabled folk, a guy saw and never talked to me again. So the stigma is real, hence the topic. Thanks.

Of course you should tell them.

I guess how to tell them necessarily depends on the nature of the disability.

It's not really if you should tell them, it's when. If you tell them too soon you could scare them away before they get to know you. You don't have to divulge everything on the first date. Probably tell them before you get serious.

What is your disability?

 

[MayorQuimby]

Of course you should tell them.

I guess how to tell them necessarily depends on the nature of the disability.

It's not really if you should tell them, it's when. If you tell them too soon you could scare them away before they get to know you. You don't have to divulge everything on the first date. Probably tell them before you get serious.

What is your disability?

Thanks for the reply.

The actual honest truth is that I don't have a disability. I am on disability because I got hounded by the feds of my country to such a point that I was essentially broken, driven to half-insanity, which then qualified me for disability. But I don't actually have anything wrong with my head. Which was a big reason why I tried so hard to connect with men from the internet because they were the only ones who would know that. But that didn't seem to work very well, and I just want a man badly.

So how would I broach it with my new man? Seems like any way I try to put a spin on it, I end up making myself look bad. He: "Oh, so you are on disability even though you don't really have any mental illness". I am so screwed.

 

[Muhammed]

Thanks for the reply.

The actual honest truth is that I don't have a disability. I am on disability because I got hounded by the feds of my country to such a point that I was essentially broken, driven to half-insanity, which then qualified me for disability. But I don't actually have anything wrong with my head. Which was a big reason why I tried so hard to connect with men from the internet because they were the only ones who would know that. But that didn't seem to work very well, and I just want a man badly.

So how would I broach it with my new man? Seems like any way I try to put a spin on it, I end up making myself look bad. He: "Oh, so you are on disability even though you don't really have any mental illness". I am so screwed.

I'm assuming that your diagnosis was paranoid schizophrenia with persecutory delusions. With something like that it's better to let a guy know very early in a relationship, otherwise they'll think you are just batshit crazy when you inevitably show symptoms. If you tell him he may be supportive rather than repulsed.

There is less stigma for a known condition. An unknown condition can scare a guy away. Believe me, paranoid schizophrenia is better than batshit crazy.

And if he knows, he can avoid talking about subjects that trigger your condition.

 

[Deplorable Yankee]

Im on disability but wish to get into a relationship.

Question: Should I hide the fact from potential partners? If not, how should I broach the topic?

Btw, I was using my bus pass, it was one of those special kind for the disabled folk, a guy saw and never talked to me again. So the stigma is real, hence the topic. Thanks.

Can't you also work a Lil on disability?
Get a Lil shit part time job ... but do it well and do it to the best of your ability...who cares what people think or say about it ..
Then lose the bus pass and get a little shit box and join a gym
Prayer and meditation look into it

Im sending positive waves your way