Beginning of a Novel: would you keep reading? Why/Why not?

[rtwngAvngr]

My life has basically been a series of failures.I have great analytical skills and can be quite charming, to the extent that it often brings out the wrath of jealous supervisors and coworkers, fearful of being outshone. A manager told that he resented how much the CEO liked me, and that it was his personal goal to “make my life miserable”. He did. I quit. I have many stories, some similar to this, some a little different, but all with the common theme: Me against the World, persecuted for no good reason. But, of course, when you tell people “your side” they still just think that it was some problem of yours, and maybe it was. Whatever. Maybe I AM weak for not being willing or able to take abuse. Maybe what I could have learned is how to shut up and disengage.


If you read this dark little paragraph, would you want to know more? Or is it just too dark to be compelling. If you wanted to keep reading, what would want to know more about?

Please consider this an exercise in story development for us all to learn through (through which we all may learn ) .

 

[rtwngAvngr]

Should a book start with a negative rant indicating borderline paranoic narcissism?

 

[winston churchi]

Originally posted by rtwngAvngr
My life has basically been a series of failures.I have great analytical skills and can be quite charming, to the extent that it often brings out the wrath of jealous supervisors and coworkers, fearful of being outshone. A manager told that he resented how much the CEO liked me, and that it was his personal goal to “make my life miserable”. He did. I quit. I have many stories, some similar to this, some a little different, but all with the common theme: Me against the World, persecuted for no good reason. But, of course, when you tell people “your side” they still just think that it was some problem of yours, and maybe it was. Whatever. Maybe I AM weak for not being willing or able to take abuse. Maybe what I could have learned is how to shut up and disengage.

The first sentence would grab me but then you followed it with something positive....It would grab me if it started out something like - My life has basically been a series of failures, its me against the world...

 

[rtwngAvngr]

Originally posted by winston churchi
The first sentence would grab me but then you followed it with something positive....It would grab me if it started out something like - My life has basically been a series of failures, its me against the world...

Yes. I see what you're saying. .

 

[rtwngAvngr]

Originally posted by winston churchi
The first sentence would grab me but then you followed it with something positive....It would grab me if it started out something like - My life has basically been a series of failures, its me against the world...

Yes. I see what you're saying. It too quick of a mood change.

 

[winston churchi]

I think its called first person that you are writing in...you should read a couple of first person stories that would help your mind organize your thoughts...yes you can write a totally negative store. I am thinking of Catcher in the Rye...to me..that story is about a lost teenaged boy....or there is The Body by Stephen King in a book called Different Season..the Body is the short story of the movie Stand by me....
There is also, now dont laugh, Twin Peaks which is a first person diary type story...

I like to read these stories because they are told by the reader...but I think they are very hard to write...so perhaps reading or re reading a few of these will help.

 

[rtwngAvngr]

Originally posted by winston churchi
I think its called first person that you are writing in...you should read a couple of first person stories that would help your mind organize your thoughts...yes you can write a totally negative store. I am thinking of Catcher in the Rye...to me..that story is about a lost teenaged boy....or there is The Body by Stephen King in a book called Different Season..the Body is the short story of the movie Stand by me....
There is also, now dont laugh, Twin Peaks which is a first person diary type story...

I like to read these stories because they are told by the reader...but I think they are very hard to write...so perhaps reading or re reading a few of these will help.

Catcher in the rye is one of my all time favorites. Probably not suprising eh?

I can see the dilemma of first person. You can only talk about what the characters sees, thinks feels, etc. It is engaging though.

Do you write, winston?

 

[nycflasher]

Originally posted by winston churchi
The first sentence would grab me but then you followed it with something positive....It would grab me if it started out something like - My life has basically been a series of failures, its me against the world...

Agreed. Writing is all about bearing your soul, as hard as it can be.

I think an opening like this would definitely interst people: "My life has basically been a series of failures, its me against the world... "

Because, 1)Who likes to admit to failure? and 2) Who hasn't at some point felt like it's them against the world?

I think people would I either be curious because they relate to that or curious because they don't...

IMO

Here's a nice inspiriational quote, though I forget who said it. It goes something like, "Writing is sitting at the [keyboard] until little beads of blood form on your forehead."

 

[NewGuy]

To me, the whole thing gives too much away in the beginning and overwhelms the reader.

I would be inclined to not include the idea so great as "me against the world" just yet or extrapolate on many failures all at once either.

I would go into a story illustrating these things first, even a small one and let the conclusion reveal these details.

That way the reader slides into the mood progressively and gets hooked on the train of thought.

 

[nycflasher]

Originally posted by NewGuy
That way the reader slides into the mood progressively and gets hooked on the train of thought.

Agreed, a more subtle approach may be your best tool. Maybe a nice build-up and then WAMMO-me against the world!

Something like that...

 

[rtwngAvngr]

Wow, thanks both of you, newguy and NYCflashers. Good suggestions.

 

[winston churchi]

Originally posted by rtwngAvngr
Catcher in the rye is one of my all time favorites. Probably not suprising eh?

I can see the dilemma of first person. You can only talk about what the characters sees, thinks feels, etc. It is engaging though.

Do you write, winston?

Yes I do write.

You know, I thought that was an unwritten rule in the English language, that if you write in first person, you cannot inform the reader of any thoughts but that person. But why not???? Writing is about creativity and if you can write a believable story...

I read this book just like that...by an Irish or English author, cannot recall their name. It was a thriller written in the first person but yet, the story went on to discuss what the other charectors were thinking and doing. The story was a best seller overseas....So I have realized, about time huh? - that there is no wrong way to write, if the reader can believe...

 

[Dan]

You know, I thought that was an unwritten rule in the English language, that if you write in first person, you cannot inform the reader of any thoughts but that person. But why not???? Writing is about creativity and if you can write a believable story...

You know, I've had some great creative writing teachers, and the one thing they taught me above all else is the most important rule in writing (as with any form of art, really) is to disregard all rules. One of my teachers in particular made a great point that writing isn't about being faithful to others' formulas, it's about making up your own formula, and making it good enough that others will want to be faithful to it.

that there is no wrong way to write, if the reader can believe...

Exactly, it's all about keeping the readers there, keeping them into it.

rtwng, I'm anxious to see where you go with this, sorry it took me so long to reply to this! I really liked this beginning. You know, they always tell you, your first paragraph has to be great in order to keep the reader, but I've never in my life picked up a book and read the first paragraph and decided it sucked. I hope I'm not alone in thinking that. That said, in my writing, I tend to try and come up with a killer first and last line for a piece, and I think your first line is pretty damn good! I like this...

Maybe what I could have learned is how to shut up and disengage.

...in particular.

I'm actually writing a story somewhat similar to the tone that I'm getting from this right now, only it takes place in a college setting, not a business world. It's definitely got that 'me against the world' tone to it, though. Like I said, I'd love to see, or hear if you feel like talking about it some, where you're going with this!

 

[rtwngAvngr]

Hey winston and Dan, thanks again.

I will post more about the direction when I get it figured out.

 

[rtwngAvngr]

After reading that structure book. I realized I should elucidate a couple examples of failure, and also write a whole new story for the story present, and use the failures as the backstory for a protagonist with maybe a couple things left over to be resolved in story present.

Newguy was right. That guy really burns me sometimes.

 

[NewGuy]

Originally posted by rtwngAvngr


Newguy was right. That guy really burns me sometimes.

I still like you anyway.