Mr. P
VIP Member
Next time you have a bad day at
> work ... think of this guy, Rob is a commercial saturation diver for
> Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore
> drilling rigs.
>
> Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
> station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst
> job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
>
>
> Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
>
> Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down
> lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you
> realize it's not so bad after all.
>
> Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
> few technicalities of my job.
>
> As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the
> office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what
> we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water
> heater.
>
> This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats
> it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through
> a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
>
> Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with
> no complaints.. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is
> take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my
> whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
>
> Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
> So, of course, I scratched it.
>
> This only made things worse.
>
> Within a few seconds my butt started to burn I pulled the hose out from my
> back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The
> hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
> Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick
> to it.
>
> However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
>
> When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
> jellyfish into the crack of my butt
>
> I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
> instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
> divers, were all
> laughing hysterically
>
> Needless to say I aborted the dive.
>
> I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
> totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my
> chamber dry decompression.
>
> When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
>
> As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
> down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt
> as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
> couldn't poop for two days because my butt was
> swollen shut.
>
> So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse
> it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
>
>
> Now repeat to yourself,
>
> "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
>
> Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself,
> Is this a jellyfish bad day?
>
> May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
> work ... think of this guy, Rob is a commercial saturation diver for
> Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore
> drilling rigs.
>
> Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
> station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst
> job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
>
>
> Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
>
> Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down
> lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you
> realize it's not so bad after all.
>
> Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
> few technicalities of my job.
>
> As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the
> office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what
> we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water
> heater.
>
> This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats
> it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through
> a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
>
> Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with
> no complaints.. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is
> take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my
> whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
>
> Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
> So, of course, I scratched it.
>
> This only made things worse.
>
> Within a few seconds my butt started to burn I pulled the hose out from my
> back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The
> hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
> Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick
> to it.
>
> However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
>
> When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
> jellyfish into the crack of my butt
>
> I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
> instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
> divers, were all
> laughing hysterically
>
> Needless to say I aborted the dive.
>
> I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
> totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my
> chamber dry decompression.
>
> When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
>
> As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
> down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt
> as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
> couldn't poop for two days because my butt was
> swollen shut.
>
> So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse
> it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
>
>
> Now repeat to yourself,
>
> "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
>
> Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself,
> Is this a jellyfish bad day?
>
> May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
