Ask The Commander

[Barbasiewiczfan]

Commander Sir,



I’m taking a break from teaching at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine while I recover from a mauling by a grizzly bear. Here in Alaska, reloading is very popular and I am just getting started so we can have ammo to protect the people of this small fishing village where my parents still live.

I broke my de-capping pin on a .308 case that seems to have two off-center holes for the primer. The gun store guys in town recommended that I ask you about this as you are a generous and understanding teacher who works well with people like me just getting started.

Thank you in advance for your learned reply.

Dr. Payuk Wimpachi.


Dear Wimpy,

I was on the Continent at the time, you understand, conducting a symposium in France at the Château de Versailles. Having just invented toilet paper, I was instructing the crown heads of Europe on its proper use.

I received a telegram from the Czar of Russia about a concern he had regarding my new Boxer primers. Once at the Tula Cartridge Works, I was informed that my new primers were working too well. The Ruskies needed something in a primer that was hard to reload but still provided good ignition. Of course I then introduced my new primer design that later became known as the Berdan primer.

The Russians were taking advantage of my humble and giving nature, again. I had just introduced them to my new smokeless gunpowder and now they needed a rifle to shoot the high powered ammo they were making. I gave them permission to copy my Mauser K98 design. The Mosin-Nagant was a poor copy of the Mauser but the Germans had also made a mess of my designs.

Kalashnikov and Stoner never got it right either. They both refused to incorporate my improvements into their sketchy designs. The low class shooters today will never understand.

Over sixty years ago the Ruskies asked me back to instruct them on the proper use of the 50BMG. Browning never comprehended the capability of the 50BMG which is why it has never been loaded properly. I produced a few of my personal hand-loads to demonstrate. Nikita personally drove me to the range where I embarrassed there best shooters.

Having spotted what I thought was an Andean Condor, I fired. I guess I can now admit, it was not a bird I shot. This is how the U-2 spy plane was really shot down over Russia. Francis Gary Powers and I would laugh about this years later.

That briefly is the origin of the Berdan primer. The Berdan case broke your de-capping pin. Here is an easy way you can remember what to do. If you look inside a cartridge case and see a snake looking back at you, this is BAD. Print this out and have your sister post it on the wall of your trailer.

Suggest you go back to John Hopkin and get your money back or have him teach you how to read. Then you can Google the info you need. The ignorance of today’s weekend warriors and suburban commandos is an embarrassment. No offence intended.

Humbly yours, The Commander