Ask Joe (a new advice column just for USMB members)

[IlarMeilyr]

It started HERE:

As usual Avg-Joe got stuck sweeping up the ribbons and wine bottles after Scat and C_K's orgy. Dot, Wake and Ropey got invites but not Joe. No one ever thinks of asking Joe.

It got me to thinking (both unusual in its own right and potentially dangerous). Why not have an advice forum?

Naturally, I thought of Joe. Of course, I can't say I ASKED him. But I volunteered him just the same.

Consider Avg-Joe your New Dear Abby.

Ask Joe!

 

[g5000]

Hey, Joe. Where you going with that gun in your hand?

 

[AVG-JOE]

Texas for a play-date.

Should be fun

 

[Baruch Menachem]

Is your average the mean or the mode? How much is your standard deviation?

 

[AVG-JOE]

Never mean - always tactful; and the deviation is slightly above average at seven and a half.

 

[MeBelle]

I think this should be moved to the lounge.

 

[Statistikhengst]

Hey, Joe, my alien friends from Xenakis IV are hesistant to reveal themselves to most earthlings. I'm trying to get them to go forth with first contact.

What would you say to them?

 

[Statistikhengst]

Definitely should go into the lounge....

 

[percysunshine]

Dear Joe: Which brand of coffee is the best?

 

[strollingbones]

son will be 31 ish or 32 ish..damn i guess a good mother would know let me think....omg 32 ish....this year..he is dating a young lady who just passed the va bar....oddly we all live in nc.....so dude...when do i get grandkids? i mean damn i am even using the ....i am old and dying line and it gets me nowhere? so when? and i want a decent date?

 

[AVG-JOE]

Hey, Joe, my alien friends from Xenakis IV are hesistant to reveal themselves to most earthlings. I'm trying to get them to go forth with first contact.

What would you say to them?

"Welcome!"

"Please read the USMB Rules and Guidelines before posting."

​

 

[Statistikhengst]

Hey, Joe, my alien friends from Xenakis IV are hesistant to reveal themselves to most earthlings. I'm trying to get them to go forth with first contact.

What would you say to them?

"Welcome!"

"Please read the USMB Rules and Guidelines before posting."

​

Ok, I'll pass that along to them.

 

[AVG-JOE]

Dear Joe: Which brand of coffee is the best?

Taste in coffee, like preferences in religion, is strictly a matter of opinion and there is no wrong answer.

My current favorite is a French roasted bean from Rwanda.

 

[AVG-JOE]

son will be 31 ish or 32 ish..damn i guess a good mother would know let me think....omg 32 ish....this year..he is dating a young lady who just passed the va bar....oddly we all live in nc.....so dude...when do i get grandkids? i mean damn i am even using the ....i am old and dying line and it gets me nowhere? so when? and i want a decent date?

If you want a decent date, try using lines like "spunky and moist" over "old and dying".

 

[Amelia]

 

[Coyote]

Dear Joe,

My monkey has fleas. How do I get rid of them?

 

[norwegen]

Dear Joe,

My monkey has fleas. How do I get rid of them?

Joe says sell your monkey.

Right, Joe?

 

[Sarah G]

Why you sleepin' with ya eyes closed?

Love,

Destiny's Child

 

[BlackSand]

Dear Joe,

Should I figure out a new way to dust the window blinds ... Or just buy new ones?

.

 

[AVG-JOE]

Dear Joe,

My monkey has fleas. How do I get rid of them?