Uncensored2008
Libertarian Radical
Proving once again that they are the most forward thinking corporation on the planet, Apple astounded industry analysts and Apple Fanbois alike when they took the most advanced move in tech history.
In a move that Engadget and ALL of the Ziff-Davis publications hailed as "brilliantly innovative," Apple executed 500 employees for disloyalty. Fans were excited by the utter brilliance of the move. One fan tweeted that "OMG, how uber-cool to put useless eaters down."
In usual Apple style, the executions were held with massive fanfare including a 500 foot video screen streaming the deaths live from the FoxxCon factory to the Palo Alto headquarters. Ziff-Davis tweeted "OMG. Apple is just the best. No company has ever been so innovative." Apple demonstrated a dozen execution "apps" such as beheading, evisceration, electrocution, hanging, drawing and quartering. The highlight came when Tim Cook appears in a Kim Jong Un outfit and fed a young woman to a pack of starving dogs. Adoring fans went wild and nearly crashed local ISP's as they loaded iMovies from their iPhones onto the iCloud.
Engadget tweeted "OMG, Apple has broken brave new ground that will move technology ahead by decades." Russian hackers confirmed that even Hillary Clinton got in on the action when she sent a Blackberry message to Huma declaring "didn't Mao and Pol Pot already do this? I don't get it?" Huma replied "it only matters when Apple does it."
Apple stock climbed 18%
In a move that Engadget and ALL of the Ziff-Davis publications hailed as "brilliantly innovative," Apple executed 500 employees for disloyalty. Fans were excited by the utter brilliance of the move. One fan tweeted that "OMG, how uber-cool to put useless eaters down."
In usual Apple style, the executions were held with massive fanfare including a 500 foot video screen streaming the deaths live from the FoxxCon factory to the Palo Alto headquarters. Ziff-Davis tweeted "OMG. Apple is just the best. No company has ever been so innovative." Apple demonstrated a dozen execution "apps" such as beheading, evisceration, electrocution, hanging, drawing and quartering. The highlight came when Tim Cook appears in a Kim Jong Un outfit and fed a young woman to a pack of starving dogs. Adoring fans went wild and nearly crashed local ISP's as they loaded iMovies from their iPhones onto the iCloud.
Engadget tweeted "OMG, Apple has broken brave new ground that will move technology ahead by decades." Russian hackers confirmed that even Hillary Clinton got in on the action when she sent a Blackberry message to Huma declaring "didn't Mao and Pol Pot already do this? I don't get it?" Huma replied "it only matters when Apple does it."
Apple stock climbed 18%
