Zone1 10 Signs It's Definitely Time To Leave A Church

[Votto]

10 Signs It's Definitely Time To Leave A Church
Church·Sep 23, 2022 · BabylonBee.com
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If you've ever wondered if you should leave a church, wonder no more – The Babylon Bee is here to help! Here are 10 solid, biblically-defensible excuses for leaving a church that's not serving you enough:

1. They buy their coffee beans from Costco: +10 points for going whole-bean, but -200 points for going Kirkland Signature. Disgusting! You may as well have gone Folgers or Gevalia!
2. Their Wi-Fi isn't strong enough to check your fantasy football lineup during service: Priorities, people!
3. The guy doing announcements asks you to stand up and introduce yourself: This is really insensitive to the introvert community. You didn't come to church to talk! Boundaries, people!
4. The bulletins always have spelling mistakes: If they get the little things wrong, who knows what else they're getting wrong, hmmmmm?
5. The sermon calls you to repent of your sins, be forgiven, and live forever with Christ: This seems invasive for a first impression, not to mention all the pressure for "membership" and "accountability." What is this, a cult?
6. The elder board won't add your multi-colored end-times chart to the church by-laws: Another reason we should go with "congregational rule" instead of "elder rule" – the customer is always right!
7. Someone confronted you about your incessant complaining about the services and slandering of the leaders: Not very loving or affirming. I even heard they asked one of the leaders to step down after he disqualified himself – again, not very inclusive behavior. Red flag, leave immediately!
8. You weren't invited to lead worship on your first day: Do they even care about people using your spiritual gifts? That double-necked flying-V guitar would sure beat their lame worship leader's pathetic acoustic set…
9. They've asked you to stop blowing your trumpet before you drop your crumpled bills into the offering plate: We want to receive our reward now!
10. The movie clips are all from outdated movies: When the film clips are from pre-1985 franchises, the pastor doesn't have a decent 5-10 minutes of stand-up material, and he doesn't even have a decent-looking pair of shoes, it seems like we need to look for a deeper integrity issue. Aren't there ‘qualifications for elders' or something to prevent these oversights??

And there you have it. Trust us, the list could go on and on – serving, sacrificing, and growing with a community is overrated, so use any old excuse you can find to find a church that serves you – as the old Sunday School song says, "that's what it's all about!"

 

[Zincwarrior]

Thats...strange

 

[LuckyDuck01!]

Other subtle ways to know it's time to leave your church:
1. They insist everyone drink their "special" Kool-Aid.
2. They claim that they worship the aliens hidden behind a comet and the only way to meet them is to kill yourself.
3. They insist that your church leader is entitled to have your underage daughters for wives.
4. They keep insisting that the rapture and the end of the world is here, but they have to keep moving the date forward as nothing happens on those dates.
5. Your church leader insists that he/she is Jesus reincarnated and that you have to buy lots of guns.
6. Your religion insists that your religion MUST rule the world and all non-believers must be converted, subjugated or killed, for their own good.

 

[Zincwarrior]

Other subtle ways to know it's time to leave your church:
1. They insist everyone drink their "special" Kool-Aid.
2. They claim that they worship the aliens hidden behind a comet and the only way to meet them is to kill yourself.
3. They insist that your church leader is entitled to have your underage daughters for wives.
4. They keep insisting that the rapture and the end of the world is here, but they have to keep moving the date forward as nothing happens on those dates.
5. Your church leader insists that he/she is Jesus reincarnated and that you have to buy lots of guns.
6. Your religion insists that your religion MUST rule the world and all non-believers must be converted, subjugated or killed, for their own good.

Yea, any of those should do it.

 

[Ringo]

The biblical worldwide flood, of course, is typical obscurantist nonsense - it is impossible, for the water would simply run off the edges of the Earth.

 

[luiza]

The biblical worldwide flood, of course, is typical obscurantist nonsense - it is impossible, for the water would simply run off the edges of the Earth.

Fool .
That's exactly what happened .
Things did not get dry as if by magic .

 

[forkintheroad7]

I didn't leave my Church, it left me.. or certain clergy or parishioners did, because I don't like the garbage Francis teaches and when you start questioning Vatican II.. OMG, watch out.

They don't kick you out by officially saying Get OUT but they have their ways of making you feel like an outsider--which I am because I believe in True Catholicism, not all the baloney clergy are teaching today (which is not to say that all clergy are heretical)