y'allbonics

Discussion in 'Humor' started by pegwinn, Nov 20, 2005.

  1. pegwinn
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    pegwinn Top of the Food Chain

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    Southern Drawl Words Translated

    The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating Southern slang, or y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools.

    The following are excerpts from the
    Y'allbonics/English dictionary:


    HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.

    HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
    Usage "Heidi, Hire
    yew?"

    BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow. "Usage "My brother bard my pickup truck."

    JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

    BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.
    Usage "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."

    MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

    THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

    BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
    Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

    IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"

    RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
    Usage "I thank I
    left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

    ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

    FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

    TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

    TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage "Lord willin'
    and the creek
    don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

    RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65."

    FAT - (noun), (verb) -- a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."

    RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

    CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage "Just set that bare rat cheer."

    FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."

    DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage "He's did, Jim."

    ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen. Usage "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ARE!"

    BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

    JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

    HAZE - a contraction. Usage "Is Bubba smart?"
    "Nah...haze ignert. He
    ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."
    SEED - (verb) -- past tense of "to see".

    VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"

    GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."
     
  2. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    I've made it!----I turned into a real Texan!!!
    I knew what all those words meant without looking at the definition! :D
     

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