- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
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This is a space-odyssey tale involving the 'bureaucracy-metaphysics' of TrumpUSA.
It was inspired by the consumerism-sarcastic Tim Burton film Mars Attacks!
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Eight men were recruited from media for a special Xenomorph mission endorsed by President Trump and managed by NASA and SETI. The men were the actors Tom Cruise, James Franco, Jonathan Scott-Taylor, Kurt Russell, Heath Ledger, Sebastian Stan, and Tom Hardy. The eighth man was an idealistic Cossack named Ajay Satan (an Ivy League graduate, student of Frantz Fanon and Algerian politics/culture, and serial Internet-blogger). The men were called The Xeno-8 by NASA and given special medallions by President Trump. Their mission was to investigate a media-radio signal sent from Venus.
The signal was picked up by SETI and decoded. It was a clear omen sent from a seemingly very intelligent alien species from Venus. The message was an invitation to come to Venus, claiming that humanity had become 'nearly-perfect' because of its species-wide instincts for commerce, comic books, and celebrity. The Xeno-8 were to land on Venus (in a new hyper-speed shuttle called Nostromo designed secretly by NASA during the Kennedy Administration). The alien species claimed that becoming perfect required inter-species contact for the purpose of humility and demanded a 'diplomacy team' be sent (not a cosmonaut team).
The Xeno-8 were selected for their representation of modern media values and pedestrian interests. Ajay was the most scared, since all he dreamed about was teaching History at Yale and was being considered for a full-time professorial position there, so he could teach a course titled "Fanaticism in Developmental Mass Media." However, NASA informed Ajay that he was now part of the mostly 'celebrity-packed' Xeno-8 and would have to 'represent' humanity for his pronounced interests in media-accessibility and personal Internet-blogging work regarding 'populism idealism.' Ajay went to Church and prayed, "Help me God, so I can help my team Xeno-8 represent humanity well and with sanity!" Meanwhile, Xbox (Microsoft) was developing a fancy video-game based on the Nostromo mission for countless American youngsters to play and daydream about space-travel and alien contact!
Nostromo landed on Venus 2 years later and made contact with an emissary of the Xenomorph species, a cerebral priest named Vallon. Vallon explained that the team had to convince the Xenos that humanity deserved to live by proving that human beings were interested in consumerism-consciousness (e.g., Starbucks, TrumpUSA, etc.) for something more than just 'cholesterol-gluttony.' If they were rejected by the Xenos, they would be hunted like 'wild game.' Ajay was horrified and realized NASA (and most likely the NSA) had sent the Xeno-8 as 'guinea pigs' for the Xenos to investigate, just so the Nostromo could send back digital photographs.
Ajay came up with a plan to coordinate all the members of Xeno-8 so they could escape from the overly-critical 'clutches' from the Xenos and return to Earth safely in the Nostromo. Ajay told the team that Tom (Cruise), James, Jonathan, and Kurt would pretend they were homosexuals, while Heath, Ajay, Sebastian, and Tom (Hardy) pretended they were sent as 'homophobic' bigots against homosexuality. When the Xenos would inquire why NASA would send a team of homosexuals and homophobes, Ajay would explain, "Humanity is pro-consumerism, since its politics has always been (basically) life-nutritional!" Then Ajay would tell the Xenos, "Let us return to Earth, and we'll tell humanity that your species is intellectually superior enough to wish to remain private and hidden from humanity's child-like love of 'game-like Starbucks culture'!"
Ajay's 'comedian-approach' plan worked and the Xenos allowed the Xeno-8 to reboard their ship (thinking humanity was content remaining 'docile' and 'consumerism-preoccupied'), but before they left, they suggested (as an olive-branch of peace) that the team engage 5 Xenos in a hunting-game in a cave-labyrinth on Venus, so the humans would return to Earth knowing there were no hard feelings despite Vallon's explanation that the Xenos would have been executed if the humans turned out to be bogus 'dystopian diplomats.' When Xeno-8 returned to Earth (after their thrilling 'simulation pursuit game' with the Xenos), President Trump gave them a regal march in Washington, D.C., but the team (including Ajay who started teaching at Yale) never disclosed what happened on Venus or what they had to do to escape from the surprisingly disapproving Xenos. They simply told NASA (and the NSA), "The Xenos on Venus wish to be left anonymous, and they want us to continue to embrace/celebrate our 'Starbucks culture'!"
====
It was inspired by the consumerism-sarcastic Tim Burton film Mars Attacks!
====
Eight men were recruited from media for a special Xenomorph mission endorsed by President Trump and managed by NASA and SETI. The men were the actors Tom Cruise, James Franco, Jonathan Scott-Taylor, Kurt Russell, Heath Ledger, Sebastian Stan, and Tom Hardy. The eighth man was an idealistic Cossack named Ajay Satan (an Ivy League graduate, student of Frantz Fanon and Algerian politics/culture, and serial Internet-blogger). The men were called The Xeno-8 by NASA and given special medallions by President Trump. Their mission was to investigate a media-radio signal sent from Venus.
The signal was picked up by SETI and decoded. It was a clear omen sent from a seemingly very intelligent alien species from Venus. The message was an invitation to come to Venus, claiming that humanity had become 'nearly-perfect' because of its species-wide instincts for commerce, comic books, and celebrity. The Xeno-8 were to land on Venus (in a new hyper-speed shuttle called Nostromo designed secretly by NASA during the Kennedy Administration). The alien species claimed that becoming perfect required inter-species contact for the purpose of humility and demanded a 'diplomacy team' be sent (not a cosmonaut team).
The Xeno-8 were selected for their representation of modern media values and pedestrian interests. Ajay was the most scared, since all he dreamed about was teaching History at Yale and was being considered for a full-time professorial position there, so he could teach a course titled "Fanaticism in Developmental Mass Media." However, NASA informed Ajay that he was now part of the mostly 'celebrity-packed' Xeno-8 and would have to 'represent' humanity for his pronounced interests in media-accessibility and personal Internet-blogging work regarding 'populism idealism.' Ajay went to Church and prayed, "Help me God, so I can help my team Xeno-8 represent humanity well and with sanity!" Meanwhile, Xbox (Microsoft) was developing a fancy video-game based on the Nostromo mission for countless American youngsters to play and daydream about space-travel and alien contact!
Nostromo landed on Venus 2 years later and made contact with an emissary of the Xenomorph species, a cerebral priest named Vallon. Vallon explained that the team had to convince the Xenos that humanity deserved to live by proving that human beings were interested in consumerism-consciousness (e.g., Starbucks, TrumpUSA, etc.) for something more than just 'cholesterol-gluttony.' If they were rejected by the Xenos, they would be hunted like 'wild game.' Ajay was horrified and realized NASA (and most likely the NSA) had sent the Xeno-8 as 'guinea pigs' for the Xenos to investigate, just so the Nostromo could send back digital photographs.
Ajay came up with a plan to coordinate all the members of Xeno-8 so they could escape from the overly-critical 'clutches' from the Xenos and return to Earth safely in the Nostromo. Ajay told the team that Tom (Cruise), James, Jonathan, and Kurt would pretend they were homosexuals, while Heath, Ajay, Sebastian, and Tom (Hardy) pretended they were sent as 'homophobic' bigots against homosexuality. When the Xenos would inquire why NASA would send a team of homosexuals and homophobes, Ajay would explain, "Humanity is pro-consumerism, since its politics has always been (basically) life-nutritional!" Then Ajay would tell the Xenos, "Let us return to Earth, and we'll tell humanity that your species is intellectually superior enough to wish to remain private and hidden from humanity's child-like love of 'game-like Starbucks culture'!"
Ajay's 'comedian-approach' plan worked and the Xenos allowed the Xeno-8 to reboard their ship (thinking humanity was content remaining 'docile' and 'consumerism-preoccupied'), but before they left, they suggested (as an olive-branch of peace) that the team engage 5 Xenos in a hunting-game in a cave-labyrinth on Venus, so the humans would return to Earth knowing there were no hard feelings despite Vallon's explanation that the Xenos would have been executed if the humans turned out to be bogus 'dystopian diplomats.' When Xeno-8 returned to Earth (after their thrilling 'simulation pursuit game' with the Xenos), President Trump gave them a regal march in Washington, D.C., but the team (including Ajay who started teaching at Yale) never disclosed what happened on Venus or what they had to do to escape from the surprisingly disapproving Xenos. They simply told NASA (and the NSA), "The Xenos on Venus wish to be left anonymous, and they want us to continue to embrace/celebrate our 'Starbucks culture'!"
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