I believe in God as much as I always have, but I seldom pray, and I very infrequently attend Mass on Sunday. My problems with God are twofold: 1) My life has been a series of disappointments and I blame God for it. 2) The pedophilia scandal has dampened my enthusiasm for the Catholic Church. I believe the universe couldn't have gotten here by random happenstance, so I believe in a God who created it. But it is hard to believe in the loving God Christ described, the entity who will make sure you never want for anything and will open doors if you knock. The best description for me is "disillusioned." I have read biographies of the saints, and I know many of them had "dry" periods filled with doubt, but they somehow plowed through it and hung onto their faith. Is this my "dry" period? And if so, how do I get "wet" again?