The 4000 soldiers bit was just so obviously true... I didn't go into anything else.
Responding to the rest of your post would be a waste of time and not that entertaining an exercise.
You are kind of like my cat. She is cute and funny in her own way, but I have also seen her jump into a mirror, get stuck under the oven and drink from the toilet. I don't blame her for being stupid. She is who she is and I love her for the better parts.
LOLOLOL