"Why Aren't Christians More Like Jesus!?!?"--A Blistering BB Article

[SweetSue92]

I cannot put it any better than these fine folks at Babylon Bee, so here it is in its entirety. I would guess this is in response to the Twitter storms this week regarding the ICE raids and Jesus--but who knows. This is timeless:

(PS Unbelievers: THIS IS SATIRE)

******

Christians these days are just the worst. They are always taking stances on divisive issues like abortion and marriage and constantly have a lot of people angry at them. This is so unlike the person they’re supposed to be emulating -- Jesus, a cool dude whom everyone loved.

Now, I’ve never read the Bible (I think Jesus would agree not to waste time on really old books when there are much lighter, more uplifting alternatives available on Audible), but my impression is that he was this really nice guy who went around giving everybody great self-esteem, telling people, “Hey, keep doing whatever you’re doing. You’re great and are going to Heaven.” That’s why everyone loves Jesus: because he told people they’re all great the way they are and don’t need to change. I don’t know where Christians got this idea that people need to sacrifice their old way of living and follow some exclusive Savior to get to Heaven, but it doesn’t sound very Jesus-like to me.

In fact, if Jesus were around today, I’ll bet he’d tell Christians to “chill out” on all their narrow morality that upsets people and accept whatever people feel like doing because it’s all good. The only thing he might challenge people to change is to try more socialism. The main thing to keep in mind is that if you’re making people upset, you’re not being like Jesus, who only made everyone happy.

Christians Should Be More Like Jesus, Who Was Loved By Everybody And Never Divisive

Would you bet that Jesus would tell Christians to give to the Government in the name of Christ or would He say give in His name directly? Jesus never said one word about the role of Government in His works. Further, I don’t think he would take too kindly to first paying off cronies.

I get your general idea, but He DID say, "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's."--Matthew 22:21

That means that Christians are not to withdraw from society by refusing to pay taxes. That's it. However, it is NOT to be seen as a substitute for charity--and I agree gov't programs are a very poor form of charity in general.

That means Ceasar’s (the State) is limited. At a minimum, Jesus did not want Caesar involved in collecting on behalf of God.

Absolutely correct. All of His teachings are direct giving, direct serving. Not gov't collects and doles out and this substitutes as charity.

 

[SobieskiSavedEurope]

The Chosen people are Catholics.
Especially ones in the Levant.

What you call Jew is a matter of semantics

They are the Synagogue of Satan the anti-Christs.

That is some of the dumbest shit I have ever heard.

Even for a Nazi you are astoundingly ignorant.

The Catholic church arose as a Roman Emperor suffered a string of defeats, particularly at the hands of Huns and Slavs, the very people you claim to be part of. Core support in Rome was failing due to his consistent military defeats. So Constantine staged a psuedo event. He found a weak force that could be easily defeated, claimed that the Christian God struck a bargain with him (as if an ACTUAL God would need to do so) and granted him victory for changing the religion of Rome. It was a cynical political move, but it worked.

The Catholic church arose from fraud. Whatever good or bad it did later, the roots are rotten.

Those who accept & have accepted Jesus are a direct continuation of Ancient Hebrews.
That's the Catholic faith.

Those who reject him, are following Judas Iscariot, and are therefor anti-Christs.

They might call themselves Jews, or Hebrews, but they're so obviously the Synagogue of Satan.

As for Protestants they're out of Sin, they went against God to Quarrel against the original Church of Christ the Catholics.

To make matters worse, in the case of British Protestants, you're just Protestant starting with King Henry wanting a Divorce.

So, you & your ilk have no right to point fingers.

In fact, besides the Synagogue of Satan, British Protestants are the last people who should have a right to point fingers.

Traitors, and evil seeds of Christ & the Catholic faith, both of you are not good at all, and your actions tell us all.

You obviously flunked out of catechism.

Protestantism is based on Martin Luther.
It is a horrible and frightful thing that the ruler of Christendom, who boasts himself vicar of Christ and successor of St. Peter, lives in such worldly splendor that in this regard no king nor emperor can equal or approach him, and that he who claims the title of “most holy” and “most spiritual” is more worldly than the world itself. He wears a triple crown, when the greatest kings wear but a single crown; if that is like the poverty of Christ and of St. Peter, then it is a new kind of likeness}

Martin Luther - Three Reformation Treatises
{

Lutherans yes, British Protestants mostly no.

The Church of England was formed because King Henry wanted a divorce.

The Bible says reformations of the Vatican must be done from within, to quarrel with the original Church is a Sin.

 

[JoeB131]

That means Ceasar’s (the State) is limited. At a minimum, Jesus did not want Caesar involved in collecting on behalf of God.

actually, you are confused. The Pharisees were trying to trap Jesus. If he condemned the temple tax, he was guilty of treason against Rome. If he approved of the tax, they could denounce him as a Roman Collaborator.

Instead, he was clever enough to point out that since Caesar's picture was on the money, it was Caesar's issue, not God's.

 

[JoeB131]

Absolutely correct. All of His teachings are direct giving, direct serving. Not gov't collects and doles out and this substitutes as charity.

Charity doesn't work... which is why we need government programs.

I remember when Republicans realized this, but just called for running these programs better.

You know, instead of being this combination of religious and libertarian stupidity spurred by racism to make poor people beg for food.

 

[SweetSue92]

The Chosen people are Catholics.
Especially ones in the Levant.

What you call Jew is a matter of semantics

They are the Synagogue of Satan the anti-Christs.

That is some of the dumbest shit I have ever heard.

Even for a Nazi you are astoundingly ignorant.

The Catholic church arose as a Roman Emperor suffered a string of defeats, particularly at the hands of Huns and Slavs, the very people you claim to be part of. Core support in Rome was failing due to his consistent military defeats. So Constantine staged a psuedo event. He found a weak force that could be easily defeated, claimed that the Christian God struck a bargain with him (as if an ACTUAL God would need to do so) and granted him victory for changing the religion of Rome. It was a cynical political move, but it worked.

The Catholic church arose from fraud. Whatever good or bad it did later, the roots are rotten.

Those who accept & have accepted Jesus are a direct continuation of Ancient Hebrews.
That's the Catholic faith.

Those who reject him, are following Judas Iscariot, and are therefor anti-Christs.

They might call themselves Jews, or Hebrews, but they're so obviously the Synagogue of Satan.

As for Protestants they're out of Sin, they went against God to Quarrel against the original Church of Christ the Catholics.

To make matters worse, in the case of British Protestants, you're just Protestant starting with King Henry wanting a Divorce.

So, you & your ilk have no right to point fingers.

In fact, besides the Synagogue of Satan, British Protestants are the last people who should have a right to point fingers.

Traitors, and evil seeds of Christ & the Catholic faith, both of you are not good at all, and your actions tell us all.

You obviously flunked out of catechism.

Protestantism is based on Martin Luther.
It is a horrible and frightful thing that the ruler of Christendom, who boasts himself vicar of Christ and successor of St. Peter, lives in such worldly splendor that in this regard no king nor emperor can equal or approach him, and that he who claims the title of “most holy” and “most spiritual” is more worldly than the world itself. He wears a triple crown, when the greatest kings wear but a single crown; if that is like the poverty of Christ and of St. Peter, then it is a new kind of likeness}

Martin Luther - Three Reformation Treatises
{

Lutherans yes, British Protestants mostly no.

The Church of England was formed because King Henry wanted a divorce.

The Bible says reformations of the Vatican must be done from within, to quarrel with the original Church is a Sin.

Welp, here it is folks---literally the stupidest thing I have ever read on USMB in the entire year I have been here.

Polish eater, see if you can spot the flaw in what you typed, okay? Read carefully now:

"THE BIBLE says reformations of THE VATICAN must be done from within, to quarrel with the original Church is a Sin."

 

[JoeB131]

Welp, here it is folks---literally the stupidest thing I have ever read on USMB in the entire year I have been here.

Polish eater, see if you can spot the flaw in what you typed, okay? Read carefully now:

"THE BIBLE says reformations of THE VATICAN must be done from within, to quarrel with the original Church is a Sin."

How is that any dumber than any of the stuff you believe?

Here's the better question... if God's word is so clear, why do have so many sects in Christianity... You all have the same bible,a nd you have 1000 different opinions.

Since there are more Catholics than anything else, they must be more right than you are.

 

[SweetSue92]

Welp, here it is folks---literally the stupidest thing I have ever read on USMB in the entire year I have been here.

Polish eater, see if you can spot the flaw in what you typed, okay? Read carefully now:

"THE BIBLE says reformations of THE VATICAN must be done from within, to quarrel with the original Church is a Sin."

How is that any dumber than any of the stuff you believe?

Here's the better question... if God's word is so clear, why do have so many sects in Christianity... You all have the same bible,a nd you have 1000 different opinions.

Since there are more Catholics than anything else, they must be more right than you are.

I might answer this question but it's the only one I'm going to bother with from you today. Because you hate Christianity and if I answer this one you will ignore it and move on to your next target. So this answer is not really for you, but for other readers. Just so we're clear.

In my life as a Protestant I have been United Methodist, Congregational, Evangelical Lutheran and Evangelical Presbyterian and more. Yes, all of those. There isn't much difference between them at all. Christians themselves do not make that much difference between them. When our pastor talks about neighboring churches he says "our brothers and sisters at ______"

You know who makes a big deal about them? You all. I guess you folks really hate diversity after all, but we knew that.

 

[JoeB131]

I might answer this question but it's the only one I'm going to bother with from you today. Because you hate Christianity and if I answer this one you will ignore it and move on to your next target. So this answer is not really for you, but for other readers. Just so we're clear.

In my life as a Protestant I have been United Methodist, Congregational, Evangelical Lutheran and Evangelical Presbyterian and more. Yes, all of those. There isn't much difference between them at all. Christians themselves do not make that much difference between them. When our pastor talks about neighboring churches he says "our brothers and sisters at ______"

You know who makes a big deal about them? You all. I guess you folks really hate diversity after all, but we knew that.

You really didn't answer the question. Either one Church is the one true church, or it isn't.

As for Christians not making that much of a difference between them, have you missed the Balkans or Northern Ireland where they are still killing each other over whether Jesus was made of wafers or not?

The problem is, every last church claims THEY ARE THE ONE TRUE WAY and everyone else is a heretic. Oh, it's not like the good old days when you burned each other at the stake because your fat king wanted a divorce.... You all pretend to like each other at the Interfaith Pancake Breakfast.

But by all means, keep jumping from CHurch to Church until you find one that hates Mexicans and Gays, just like Jesus did.

 

[JoeB131]

I'm surprised she didn't whine I called Political Chick a funny name.

 

[SweetSue92]

I might answer this question but it's the only one I'm going to bother with from you today. Because you hate Christianity and if I answer this one you will ignore it and move on to your next target. So this answer is not really for you, but for other readers. Just so we're clear.

In my life as a Protestant I have been United Methodist, Congregational, Evangelical Lutheran and Evangelical Presbyterian and more. Yes, all of those. There isn't much difference between them at all. Christians themselves do not make that much difference between them. When our pastor talks about neighboring churches he says "our brothers and sisters at ______"

You know who makes a big deal about them? You all. I guess you folks really hate diversity after all, but we knew that.

You really didn't answer the question. Either one Church is the one true church, or it isn't.

As for Christians not making that much of a difference between them, have you missed the Balkans or Northern Ireland where they are still killing each other over whether Jesus was made of wafers or not?

The problem is, every last church claims THEY ARE THE ONE TRUE WAY and everyone else is a heretic. Oh, it's not like the good old days when you burned each other at the stake because your fat king wanted a divorce.... You all pretend to like each other at the Interfaith Pancake Breakfast.

But by all means, keep jumping from CHurch to Church until you find one that hates Mexicans and Gays, just like Jesus did.

I'm going to report you if you keep saying I hate "mexicans and gays" Joe. Keep it up and you're reported. That's first.

Second, no, "every last church" does not say they are the ONE TRUE CHURCH. I just told you mine does not and you still said that. Are you capable of reading for comprehension?

 

[CarlinAnnArbor]

Because the Protestants follow Paul and to hell with Jesus.

Paul said, Follow me AS I FOLLOW JESUS. Paul's place is assured. Wish I could say the same for you.

 

[CarlinAnnArbor]

Because the Protestants follow Paul and to hell with Jesus.

You don't know the first thing about the Bible. I know enough to know that is true, Jackboots.

Ask me a question??

The devil quotes scripture too. UNDERSTANDING is what eludes you

 

[Penelope]

Because the Protestants follow Paul and to hell with Jesus.

Paul said, Follow me AS I FOLLOW JESUS. Paul's place is assured. Wish I could say the same for you.

Yet Paul didn't follow Jesus.

 

[CarlinAnnArbor]

I'm surprised she didn't whine I called Political Chick a funny name.

It's not a "funny name", it's extreamly racist and personal. I'm surprised you're not banned.

 

[SweetSue92]

Because the Protestants follow Paul and to hell with Jesus.

Paul said, Follow me AS I FOLLOW JESUS. Paul's place is assured. Wish I could say the same for you.

Yet Paul didn't follow Jesus.

If someone wants to learn they can be taught.

People who choose ignorance, on the other hand.....

 

[CarlinAnnArbor]

Because the Protestants follow Paul and to hell with Jesus.

Paul said, Follow me AS I FOLLOW JESUS. Paul's place is assured. Wish I could say the same for you.

Yet Paul didn't follow Jesus.

He wrote most of the NT satan follower. Under inspiration.

 

[SweetSue92]

Because the Protestants follow Paul and to hell with Jesus.

Paul said, Follow me AS I FOLLOW JESUS. Paul's place is assured. Wish I could say the same for you.

Yet Paul didn't follow Jesus.

He wrote most of the NT satan follower. Under inspiration.

Not to mention he had such a strong vision of our Lord and Savior that he was struck blind on the road to Damascus.

 

[Taz]

Because the Protestants follow Paul and to hell with Jesus.

Paul said, Follow me AS I FOLLOW JESUS. Paul's place is assured. Wish I could say the same for you.

Yet Paul didn't follow Jesus.

He wrote most of the NT satan follower. Under inspiration.

Not to mention he had such a strong vision of our Lord and Savior that he was struck blind on the road to Damascus.

That's a myth, like all the others.

 

[LeftofLeft]

That means Ceasar’s (the State) is limited. At a minimum, Jesus did not want Caesar involved in collecting on behalf of God.

actually, you are confused. The Pharisees were trying to trap Jesus. If he condemned the temple tax, he was guilty of treason against Rome. If he approved of the tax, they could denounce him as a Roman Collaborator.

Instead, he was clever enough to point out that since Caesar's picture was on the money, it was Caesar's issue, not God's.

That is not the debate or issue. The issue is whether Jesus would want the Government collecting taxes and distributing to the poor.

 

[Taz]

That means Ceasar’s (the State) is limited. At a minimum, Jesus did not want Caesar involved in collecting on behalf of God.

actually, you are confused. The Pharisees were trying to trap Jesus. If he condemned the temple tax, he was guilty of treason against Rome. If he approved of the tax, they could denounce him as a Roman Collaborator.

Instead, he was clever enough to point out that since Caesar's picture was on the money, it was Caesar's issue, not God's.

That is not the debate or issue. The issue is whether Jesus would want the Government collecting taxes and distributing to the poor.

You mean distributing to the rich, like in the US.