When is it a good time to introduce...

Discussion in 'Religion and Ethics' started by Angel Heart, Dec 14, 2010.

  1. Angel Heart
    Offline

    Angel Heart Conservative Hippie

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2007
    Messages:
    2,057
    Thanks Received:
    341
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Ratings:
    +341
    The new relationship to children after a divorce?

    I ask this because my ex is wanting to introduce his girlfriend to our children. He's not planning on moving in with or marrying her. We made the choice to divorce 6 months ago but didn't physically separate until last month. I am engaged now but waiting until late spring to introduce the children to him. We will be getting married about this time next year. If I wasn't planning on marrying him I wouldn't be introducing him to them at all.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  2. random3434
    Offline

    random3434 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2008
    Messages:
    25,903
    Thanks Received:
    7,188
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +7,194
    As a single mom, I wait until I'm in a serious relationship unitl they meet my daughter.

    When I was just dating, I would meet my dates out.

    And I've NEVER had a man spend the night at my house, even when I was engaged.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  3. Angel Heart
    Offline

    Angel Heart Conservative Hippie

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2007
    Messages:
    2,057
    Thanks Received:
    341
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Ratings:
    +341
    There's a 1000 miles between us. There will not be over nights. We will not be moving in together until we're married. I'm waiting to introduce so that we get time getting adjusted to being away from their father.
     
  4. Intense
    Offline

    Intense Senior Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2009
    Messages:
    44,909
    Thanks Received:
    5,849
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +5,863
    Seems like allot happening fast. I would suggest that introducing is cool, but keep it light. How many kid's and how old? Boy's? Girl's? How is he with kids in general?

    The reason I ask that is my Wife had 3 when we hooked up. There are alway's unforeseen issues. Transference, Turf, Personalities. Try to keep it above the surface. No down talking any of the spouses, keep it civil. Years pass, memories and regrets don't. ;)
     
  5. Luissa
    Offline

    Luissa Annoying Customer Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2008
    Messages:
    43,190
    Thanks Received:
    5,593
    Trophy Points:
    1,785
    Location:
    TARDIS
    Ratings:
    +5,664
    I don't know if six months is long enough.
    The only guy who has met my son is the guy I was dating when he was born. I have no plans to introduce him to the new guy in my life any time soon.
    I think your ex should be a little more serious with her, and give it a little more time. They are probably still getting over the divorce.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  6. Big Black Dog
    Offline

    Big Black Dog Gold Member Supporting Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2009
    Messages:
    22,917
    Thanks Received:
    5,110
    Trophy Points:
    260
    Ratings:
    +5,720
    Wow! It didn't take very long for both of you to hook up with somebody new... Might not be a bad idea to slow down a bit and take some deep breaths. This might be rebounding on both you and your soon to be ex-husband's part. Your kids heads could be reeling with all the revolving doors.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 3
  7. California Girl
    Offline

    California Girl BANNED

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2009
    Messages:
    50,337
    Thanks Received:
    8,960
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Ratings:
    +8,965
    Tell Mini EZ her mom rocks. Putting your kids best interests above your own is the mark of a great parent.
     
  8. California Girl
    Offline

    California Girl BANNED

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2009
    Messages:
    50,337
    Thanks Received:
    8,960
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Ratings:
    +8,965
    ^^^^ What he said. Divorce is hard on kids... it can take years for them to adapt.

    Personally, I wouldn't be introducing some guy to my kids (if I had them) and announcing that I'm marrying the guy. Kids need to be able to build a relationship with him before big decisions like marrying and shit.

    OP seems pretty damned selfish to me.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  9. RetiredGySgt
    Online

    RetiredGySgt Platinum Member

    Joined:
    May 6, 2007
    Messages:
    39,559
    Thanks Received:
    5,900
    Trophy Points:
    1,140
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Ratings:
    +8,973
    Bullshit. Mom and Dad have lives too. What is selfish is kids that think they can dictate to their parents who they can and can not see or marry. And adults that think that is acceptable.
     
  10. High_Gravity
    Offline

    High_Gravity Belligerent Drunk Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2010
    Messages:
    40,159
    Thanks Received:
    6,894
    Trophy Points:
    260
    Location:
    Richmond VA
    Ratings:
    +7,726
    So your going to get married but jusy physically separated from your ex last month? thats pretty quick, you don't want to be single for a while and have your freedom? it seems that alot of the women I met who were divorced were in no hurry to get married again.
     

Share This Page