What would you think...

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Amanda, Nov 30, 2008.

  1. Amanda
    Offline

    Amanda Calm as a Hindu cow

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2008
    Messages:
    4,426
    Thanks Received:
    1,005
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +1,006
    Something happened last night and I'm not sure what I think of it so I wanted to ask what all of you think.

    I was out with my boyfriend last night. We met at church and have only been dating a few weeks. I was wearing a hoodie sweatshirt over a low cut top and had the sweatshirt unzipped to where you could see I was wearing the top underneath. I'm not well endowed in the chest, but it was zipped down far enough to where if I was you would have seen a little cleavage.

    So anyway, we were out and at one point he reached over and zipped me up a little and said I was showing too much skin. I didn't think what I was showing was all that daring. It was just like kind playful and cute. At the time I felt embarrassed that he thought I was showing too much. Today I'm feeling like it was kind of presumptuous to reach over and change how my clothes looked.

    So... what do you think? Was it too protective or not a big deal? I don't like feeling like I belong to someone to do with as they please, but at the same time it kinda seems sweet. I'm confused. :confused:
     
  2. Paulie
    Offline

    Paulie Platinum Member

    Joined:
    May 19, 2007
    Messages:
    31,499
    Thanks Received:
    4,842
    Trophy Points:
    1,130
    Ratings:
    +15,310
    You be who you want to be. If he isn't happy with it, then he isn't for you.
     
  3. Annie
    Offline

    Annie Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2003
    Messages:
    50,847
    Thanks Received:
    4,644
    Trophy Points:
    1,790
    Ratings:
    +4,770
    I'm not too keen on men who want to tell me how to dress, beyond complimenting what I have on, that's always welcome. It seems it could be beyond presumptuous veering towards controlling?
     
  4. Steerpike
    Offline

    Steerpike VIP Member

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2007
    Messages:
    1,847
    Thanks Received:
    182
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Ratings:
    +182
    I may have a somewhat biased view, having spent time working with battered/abused women in a shelter...

    ...I would take that sort of action that early in a relationship as a sign of control and predict that it would grow more pronounced over time. I suggest you wear your top like you want, and the next time he zips it up, zip it back down and tell him you prefer it that way. If he shows any signs of anger, I'd run away from that relationship if I were you.
     
  5. editec
    Offline

    editec Mr. Forgot-it-All

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2008
    Messages:
    41,427
    Thanks Received:
    5,598
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Maine
    Ratings:
    +5,617
    Dump him.

    He's a freaking control freak.

    He'll only get worse if you put up with it.
     
  6. eots
    Offline

    eots no fly list

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2007
    Messages:
    28,995
    Thanks Received:
    2,034
    Trophy Points:
    205
    Location:
    IN TH HEARTS AND MINDS OF FREE MEN
    Ratings:
    +2,606
    hey I was getting wood just having you describe it..sometimes less is more...if your not sexual active..it was probably getting his attention more than he could handle..take it as a compliment on your attractiveness and his desire to remain a gentlemen
     
  7. Jon
    Offline

    Jon The CPA

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2008
    Messages:
    8,101
    Thanks Received:
    1,276
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Fayetteville, AR
    Ratings:
    +1,281
    Knee to the groin.
     
  8. xsited1
    Offline

    xsited1 Agent P

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2008
    Messages:
    17,750
    Thanks Received:
    5,299
    Trophy Points:
    198
    Location:
    Little Rock, AR
    Ratings:
    +5,306
    Ask him about it. If you're conservative and so is he, he might have been trying to protect you from prying eyes. However, he must feel comfortable enough around you to adjust your clothes in public. If it had bothered me, I would've just mentioned it to you and let you take care of it if you thought it was a problem. Controlling? Maybe. If he is, you'd better find out sooner rather than later.
     
  9. Truthmatters
    Offline

    Truthmatters BANNED

    Joined:
    May 10, 2007
    Messages:
    80,182
    Thanks Received:
    2,223
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Ratings:
    +2,233
    Be very careful , that is a very possesive thing to do to a date.

    Like Steerpike said its a big warning sign.

    Trust your own feelings, you already seem to feel it was wrong.

    Tell him to never do it again and watch his reactions very carefully.
     
  10. Diuretic
    Offline

    Diuretic Permanently confused

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2006
    Messages:
    12,653
    Thanks Received:
    1,397
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    South Australia est 1836
    Ratings:
    +1,397
    I'm with those who see this as the mark of a controller. You should be relieved it's happened so early. Walk away and find someone else because this is how sadness starts.
     

Share This Page