Torturing cats at my house

Luddly Neddite

Diamond Member
Sep 14, 2011
63,947
9,979
2,040
aka Clipping Their Front Claws.

What is it with cats that they're just sure you're killing them when you clip their claws. I've cut cat's claws for more than 40 years and I can count on the fingers of 3 fingers the number of cats who didn't get downright hysterical about it.

What does it say about little human kids that some are afraid of having their own little front claws cut?

I once had a rescue I called Roger the Lodger who I found frozen in a park in Denver. He really was frozen and appeared very dead. I picked him up to put him in a trash can and heard a groan from him. Gases escaping? or ... ?

Held him to my ear - dead cat to the face? - ick - and no discernible respiration but could barely hear a heart beat. I stuffed him in my coat, took him home, wrapped him in my electric blanket turned up to high, hyper-extended his neck so he could breathe and waited.

He came out of it. Such a sad guy, skin hung off of him in big folds. I just kept feeding him and feeding him. I never planned to keep him, didn't need or want another cat and planned to place him - hence the name, Roger the Lodger.

But, you know how it goes. I fell in love with him and had that temporary cat for another 10 years, moved him cross-country and adored him until the day he got out of the house in Tucson and was poisoned. He died a long, slow and agonizing death so the slime-bag who did it would be pleased.

Anyway, when I clipped his claws, Roger would use his free front paw to bat at the clippings as they went flying by. He's the only cat I've ever seen do that.

It was from Roger that I realized that all cats are solar powered with solar collector panels in their bellies. He could and would follow the sun on his tummy all the way across the room - right up to the furnace register. Or, maybe he loved the heat because he almost froze to death.

Big grey and white alley cat and I'll miss him till the day I die.

Anyway - my claw clipping method ...

(I actually used to teach this to people who adopted from us at PetsMart in Tucson)

I prefer two people, one to do the Dirty Deed and the other to distract, tummy tickle, talk to, stroke and just, in general, suck up to the poor victim. I've got the actual cutting down to less than 2 minutes with some cats, one minute with others.

I tuck the cat up to my front, like spoons, so he's facing away from me, grasp the offending paw and gently press to cause each claw to extend. One by one, at a right angle to the paw, I cut just the sharp hook off. Be very careful not to cut the quick cuz cats aren't very forgiving about some things.

Our Brodie is sure that we're gonna kill her at any moment. We understand that because it was obvious she was horribly abused and starved before we found her. So, we talk to her, beg her forgiveness and make it as quick as we can. She runs off to hide and lick her wounds but later demands the water be turned on to a trickle in the jacuzzi because she doesn't drink out of a dish that has DAWG COOTIES in it, thank you very much.

(Female cats aren't called "queens" fer nuthin. She may have been lowly-born but she knows she's royalty.)

The Great Catsby, our enormous Main coon goof-cat lolls, purrs, belly hangin' out for rubs and is all in for his mani-pedi until he suddenly realizes he's being OMG HORRIBLY ABUSED, MISTREATED, BEATEN, YADDA YADDA, YADDA and then its panic time. Then he becomes the world's biggest drama queen.

He's not easy. He really is huge and doesn't have to do much to make this chore really difficult for us lowly humans.

We get through it without accidentally cutting into the quick. In spite of their well-deserved worst fears, they survive. And, its only a few weeks until the next time.

Can't talk right now ... hafta go bandage my hands.

Then I'll clean the litter box.



:)




`
 
I would rather clip a cat's claws then most dogs' toenails any day! In fact, I can't even clip most of my dogs' toenails and have to use a Dremel tool to grind them instead. Why they tolerate a noisy grinding tool better than clippers, I don't know, but they do.

There have been a couple cats that I've asked my husband to hold by the back of the neck while I clipped their claws because I really, really, really don't want to be bitten by a cat. And a couple of them act like they're going to bite me.

You know, if you grasp a cat by the scruff of their neck it immobilizes them. You have to lift them up slightly to make sure, though, my husband has a habit of just holding onto their neck but not keeping their head up and away from me. :(

Mostly I can cut their claws without my husband's help.

Also, Luddly, you know you don't have to cut the back claws, right? That's what my vet told me and I never trim their back claws and they seem to be fine.

Dogs you have to do all four feet. :(

It's also a lot easier to avoid the quick on cats' claws as opposed to dogs' toenails, or so I've found.

Just thought I'd throw in my two cents, it's an area in which I have mucho experience. :)
 
Last edited:
I would rather clip a cat's claws then most dogs' toenails any day! In fact, I can't even clip most of my dogs' toenails and have to use a Dremel tool to grind them instead. Why they tolerate a noisy grinding tool better than clippers, I don't know, but they do.

There have been a couple cats that I've asked my husband to hold by the back of the neck while I clipped their claws because I really, really, really don't want to be bitten by a cat. And a couple of them act like they're going to bite me.

You know, if you grasp a cat by the scruff of their neck it immobilizes them. You have to lift them up slightly to make sure, though, my husband has a habit of just holding onto their neck but not keeping their head up and away from me. :(

Mostly I can cut their claws without my husband's help.

Also, Luddly, you know you don't have to cut the back claws, right? That's what my vet told me and I never trim their back claws and they seem to be fine.

Dogs you have to do all four feet. :(

It's also a lot easier to avoid the quick on cats' claws as opposed to dogs' toenails, or so I've found.

Just thought I'd throw in my two cents, it's an area in which I have mucho experience. :)

No, I don't do back claws. You don't need to. I can do regular cats alone but Catsby is just too huge. He sorta melts out of my lap when he wants to. Also don't like picking up cats by the scruff of their neck because I've seen it crush their esophagus. They just weren't made for that much weight on their throat.

I used to help a SAR/cadaver/drug dog trainer friend do her dogs and vice versa. She had this enormous bloodhound, dearest, sweetest goof of all time who, along with the others, would get depressed if he didn't get to find healthy live people. Some of us would go out and hide in the desert so the SAR/cadaver dogs could find us and then they'd all do this wonderful happy dance.

Anyway, he was so big, I would sit on the floor and pin each toe nail so I could leann over to put my entire upper body weight on it to cut it. He'd just sit there, wagging and drooling and grinning.
 
funny-pictures-cat-is-tortured-by-fish.jpg
 
1) First …. dress for the occasion. A 4-ply rubber wet suit is suggested, along with a helmet, face mask and welders gloves.

2) A Bathtub with a glass enclosure is preferred to the one with a shower curtain. A frenzied cat can shred one of these in about 3.5 seconds.

3) Have the Kitty Bubbles and towel in the enclosed bathtub area beforehand. No… blow drying the cat after the bath is not suggested.

4) Draw the water, making it a little warmer than needed as you still need to find the cat. Position everything strategically in the shower, so you can reach it even if you are face down or prone in the tub.

5) Find your cat. Use the element of surprise. Pick the cat up, nonchalantly as if you were simply carrying him/her to the supper dish. No need to worry about the cat noticing your strange attire, the cat barely notices you anyway.

6) Once you and the cat are inside the bathroom speed is essential. In one single liquid motion shut the door to the bathroom, step into the shower, close the sliding doors, and drop the cat into the water. While the cat is still in a state of shock locate the Kitty Bubbles and squirt whatever part of him is above the water line. You have just begun the wildest 45 seconds of your life. Remember that cats have no handles and add the fact that he now has soapy fur. His state of shock has worn off and he’s madder than hell.

7) As best, you can, wearing welder’s gloves, try to field his body as he
catapults through the air toward the ceiling. If possible, give another
squirt of Kitty Bubbles with his body now fully exposed.

During the 5 seconds you are able to hold onto him, rub vigorously. No need to worry about rinsing. As he slides down the glass enclosure into the tub, he will fall back into the water, rinsing himself in the process.

9) Only attempt the lather and rinse process about 3 times. The cat will
realize the lack of traction on the glass by then and will use the next
attempt on the first available part of you.

10) Next, the cat must be dried. No, this is NOT the easiest part. By this stage, you are worn out and the cat has just become semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. We suggest here that you drain the tub and in full view of your cat, reach for the bottle of Kitty Bubbles.

11) If you have done step 10 correctly, the cat will be off your leg and
hanging precariously from your helmet. Although this view of the cat is most disgusting, he will be in a much better position for wrapping the towel around him.

12) Be sure cat is firmly wrapped in towel before opening tub enclosure.
Open bathroom door …. put towel-wrapped cat on floor and step back
quickly. Into tub, if possible, and do not open enclosure until all you can
see is the shredded towel.

13) In about 2 hours …. it will be safe to exit the bathroom. Your cat
will be sitting out there somewhere looking like a small hedgehog while
plotting revenge. But doesn’t he smell better?????
 
Last edited:
Pretties doesn't use her claws on me. She uses her teeth. I'd have to put a muzzle on her to clip her nails IF I were to do such a thing. Which I don't plan to. She may have to have some teeth removed cuz she is losing weight and shakes her head when eating...so if that is the case, while she is knocked out, I will have the vet clip the sharpies a tad.

And no prob with baths for her. She thinks she is a dog. She LIKES the tub and the water.
 
I would rather clip a cat's claws then most dogs' toenails any day! In fact, I can't even clip most of my dogs' toenails and have to use a Dremel tool to grind them instead. Why they tolerate a noisy grinding tool better than clippers, I don't know, but they do.

There have been a couple cats that I've asked my husband to hold by the back of the neck while I clipped their claws because I really, really, really don't want to be bitten by a cat. And a couple of them act like they're going to bite me.

You know, if you grasp a cat by the scruff of their neck it immobilizes them. You have to lift them up slightly to make sure, though, my husband has a habit of just holding onto their neck but not keeping their head up and away from me. :(

Mostly I can cut their claws without my husband's help.

Also, Luddly, you know you don't have to cut the back claws, right? That's what my vet told me and I never trim their back claws and they seem to be fine.

Dogs you have to do all four feet. :(

It's also a lot easier to avoid the quick on cats' claws as opposed to dogs' toenails, or so I've found.

Just thought I'd throw in my two cents, it's an area in which I have mucho experience. :)

No, I don't do back claws. You don't need to. I can do regular cats alone but Catsby is just too huge. He sorta melts out of my lap when he wants to. Also don't like picking up cats by the scruff of their neck because I've seen it crush their esophagus. They just weren't made for that much weight on their throat.

I used to help a SAR/cadaver/drug dog trainer friend do her dogs and vice versa. She had this enormous bloodhound, dearest, sweetest goof of all time who, along with the others, would get depressed if he didn't get to find healthy live people. Some of us would go out and hide in the desert so the SAR/cadaver dogs could find us and then they'd all do this wonderful happy dance.

Anyway, he was so big, I would sit on the floor and pin each toe nail so I could leann over to put my entire upper body weight on it to cut it. He'd just sit there, wagging and drooling and grinning.

Luddly, I'm not talking about picking the cat "up" by the scruff of their neck so that they are suspended in the air with their entire body weight hanging by their neck. I agree, that's not a good thing to do.

But I'm just talking about grasping their scruff and holding them firmly, with their head pulled back enough so they can't reach to bite the person doing the clipping. Grasping their neck this way immobilizes them. It's like they turn into kittens whose mother is holding them. They don't have to be lifted up in the air for this to work.
 
Try doing 10 of them.... cats that is.


i must say though.... mine do just fine getting clipped.
 
Yeah, my dogs have all become pretty good about getting their nails done, as long as I use the Dremel and not nail clippers. Something about that sudden snipping when you clamp down on the toenail...makes them crazy.

My smallest dog, Fritz is a minpin, and the Dremel is just overkill for him, so I use the cat's clippers on his toenails. He's fine with it because he knows he'll get a treat afterward.

Some dogs are okay with getting their toenails clipped, but many (if not most) really, really do not like it. You have to be really dilligent about training them from small puppyhood, and make really sure not to hurt them. And if you do hurt them, don't make a big deal out of it, downplay it. Act like it's no big deal while you try to staunch the bleeding with styptic powder. lol
 
Try doing 10 of them.... cats that is.


i must say though.... mine do just fine getting clipped.

I've done seven and that is quite enough, thank you! :) I usually didn't do them all at once, though, just as the opportunity presented itself.

With the dogs, it's a big production, I do them all in one session...okay, Hannah's done...who's next? But they know they'll get some pretty good treats so they are very brave about it. They know there's no way out of it anyway! lol
 
If you don't have styptic powder, baking soda works just as well. Vet told me that tip when I cut Karma's nail too close. I just dipped her toe in there and bam!! No bleeding.
 
aka Clipping Their Front Claws.

What is it with cats that they're just sure you're killing them when you clip their claws. I've cut cat's claws for more than 40 years and I can count on the fingers of 3 fingers the number of cats who didn't get downright hysterical about it.

What does it say about little human kids that some are afraid of having their own little front claws cut?

I once had a rescue I called Roger the Lodger who I found frozen in a park in Denver. He really was frozen and appeared very dead. I picked him up to put him in a trash can and heard a groan from him. Gases escaping? or ... ?

Held him to my ear - dead cat to the face? - ick - and no discernible respiration but could barely hear a heart beat. I stuffed him in my coat, took him home, wrapped him in my electric blanket turned up to high, hyper-extended his neck so he could breathe and waited.

He came out of it. Such a sad guy, skin hung off of him in big folds. I just kept feeding him and feeding him. I never planned to keep him, didn't need or want another cat and planned to place him - hence the name, Roger the Lodger.

But, you know how it goes. I fell in love with him and had that temporary cat for another 10 years, moved him cross-country and adored him until the day he got out of the house in Tucson and was poisoned. He died a long, slow and agonizing death so the slime-bag who did it would be pleased.

Anyway, when I clipped his claws, Roger would use his free front paw to bat at the clippings as they went flying by. He's the only cat I've ever seen do that.

It was from Roger that I realized that all cats are solar powered with solar collector panels in their bellies. He could and would follow the sun on his tummy all the way across the room - right up to the furnace register. Or, maybe he loved the heat because he almost froze to death.

Big grey and white alley cat and I'll miss him till the day I die.

Anyway - my claw clipping method ...

(I actually used to teach this to people who adopted from us at PetsMart in Tucson)

I prefer two people, one to do the Dirty Deed and the other to distract, tummy tickle, talk to, stroke and just, in general, suck up to the poor victim. I've got the actual cutting down to less than 2 minutes with some cats, one minute with others.

I tuck the cat up to my front, like spoons, so he's facing away from me, grasp the offending paw and gently press to cause each claw to extend. One by one, at a right angle to the paw, I cut just the sharp hook off. Be very careful not to cut the quick cuz cats aren't very forgiving about some things.

Our Brodie is sure that we're gonna kill her at any moment. We understand that because it was obvious she was horribly abused and starved before we found her. So, we talk to her, beg her forgiveness and make it as quick as we can. She runs off to hide and lick her wounds but later demands the water be turned on to a trickle in the jacuzzi because she doesn't drink out of a dish that has DAWG COOTIES in it, thank you very much.

(Female cats aren't called "queens" fer nuthin. She may have been lowly-born but she knows she's royalty.)

The Great Catsby, our enormous Main coon goof-cat lolls, purrs, belly hangin' out for rubs and is all in for his mani-pedi until he suddenly realizes he's being OMG HORRIBLY ABUSED, MISTREATED, BEATEN, YADDA YADDA, YADDA and then its panic time. Then he becomes the world's biggest drama queen.

He's not easy. He really is huge and doesn't have to do much to make this chore really difficult for us lowly humans.

We get through it without accidentally cutting into the quick. In spite of their well-deserved worst fears, they survive. And, its only a few weeks until the next time.

Can't talk right now ... hafta go bandage my hands.

Then I'll clean the litter box.



:)




`

Awww, you are a cat softy, aren't you?
 

Forum List

Back
Top