Toilet Paper?

[Mr.Fitnah]

o please..surely you have heard of a bidet????


i would have thought the honeymoon suite would have one?

Had one in the house I grew up in.

 

[G.T.]

o please..surely you have heard of a bidet????


i would have thought the honeymoon suite would have one?

Had one in the house I grew up in.

You don't miss it, want it back, etc? Does it work better?

 

[Mr.Fitnah]

o please..surely you have heard of a bidet????


i would have thought the honeymoon suite would have one?

Had one in the house I grew up in.

You don't miss it, want it back, etc? Does it work better?

Its good for washing your reard end and genitals.
I dont really think about it or miss it.

 

[G.T.]

Its good for washing your reard end and genitals.
I dont really think about it or miss it.

Is it superior to toilet paper use, my only concern?

 

[Mr.Fitnah]

Its good for washing your reard end and genitals.
I dont really think about it or miss it.

Is it superior to toilet paper use, my only concern?

You'll want a towel to dry, but yes it is a shower that points up and does the job nicely .

 

[Ipsl]

I know what you mean.

Like on that movie Demolition Man with Wesley Snipes and Sylvester Stallone. They had the three sea shells.

Couldn't we have created some type of auto butt wiping system by now? Technology is loosely driven by laziness,s so why not this?

 

[G.T.]

Must have some water pressure. I saw that there was a remote for some of them. That could lead to many good pranks. SOLD.

 

[G.T.]

I know what you mean.

Like on that movie Demolition Man with Wesley Snipes and Sylvester Stallone. They had the three sea shells.

Couldn't we have created some type of auto butt wiping system by now? Technology is loosely driven by laziness,s so why not this?

lol didn't Sly use Swearing Violation Tickets to clean up after his bowel movement? That sunnuvabich!

 

[Coloradomtnman]

I'm with you, G.T. Seriously. I mean, it might not be that big a deal for women, but men, to the best of my knowledge, have hairy asses. Its the #1 of a long list of reasons why I'm not gay: hairy asses.

TP just doesn't do the trick. And that's the #1 of a long list of reasons why intelligent design isn't a good enough explanation for me. If I was so intelligently designed, then why do I have to wipe my ass? Why can't I be more like a cat with just a pink star that pinches everything off nice'n'neat?

 

[G.T.]

I'm with you, G.T. Seriously. I mean, it might not be that big a deal for women, but men, to the best of my knowledge, have hairy asses. Its the #1 of a long list of reasons why I'm not gay: hairy asses.

TP just doesn't do the trick. And that's the #1 of a long list of reasons why intelligent design isn't a good enough explanation for me. If I was so intelligently designed, then why do I have to wipe my ass? Why can't I be more like a cat with just a pink star that pinches everything off nice'n'neat?

lol hilarious

 

[AllieBaba]

I don't find the thought of a shitty, hairy ass being sprayed with water, then dried on a towel..which one presumes one re-uses (and therefore leaves hanging there???) any more appealing than the thought of a shitty, hairy ass being wiped with toilet paper...which doesn't splash, which is disposed of permanently. Provided the shitty hairy ass's owner washes his hands after, of course.

Buck up G.T....at least you don't live in REALLY primitive digs or you'd be using PEBBLES to wipe your ass. At least that's what one of the Muslims here told us a while ago.

 

[Mr.Fitnah]

I'm with you, G.T. Seriously. I mean, it might not be that big a deal for women, but men, to the best of my knowledge, have hairy asses. Its the #1 of a long list of reasons why I'm not gay: hairy asses.

TP just doesn't do the trick. And that's the #1 of a long list of reasons why intelligent design isn't a good enough explanation for me. If I was so intelligently designed, then why do I have to wipe my ass? Why can't I be more like a cat with just a pink star that pinches everything off nice'n'neat?

There is a bit of licking that goes on after that.

 

[AllieBaba]

Okay, I'm going to puke.

 

[Coloradomtnman]

I'm with you, G.T. Seriously. I mean, it might not be that big a deal for women, but men, to the best of my knowledge, have hairy asses. Its the #1 of a long list of reasons why I'm not gay: hairy asses.

TP just doesn't do the trick. And that's the #1 of a long list of reasons why intelligent design isn't a good enough explanation for me. If I was so intelligently designed, then why do I have to wipe my ass? Why can't I be more like a cat with just a pink star that pinches everything off nice'n'neat?

There is a bit of licking that goes on after that.

I'd just use the carpet.

 

[hjmick]

You should consider yourself lucky. I understand that in some cultures, they use their hands.

I've always looked at it this way, it's one of the things that makes us all even. Everyone has to wipe his or her own ass. Even the President.

 

[namvet]

I know what you mean.

Like on that movie Demolition Man with Wesley Snipes and Sylvester Stallone. They had the three sea shells.

Couldn't we have created some type of auto butt wiping system by now? Technology is loosely driven by laziness,s so why not this?

lol didn't Sly use Swearing Violation Tickets to clean up after his bowel movement? That sunnuvabich!

there's all kinds a shit and it happens

Ghost Shit
You know you've shit. There's shit on the toilet paper, but no shit in the bowl.

Teflon Coated Shit
Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of shit on the toilet paper, you have to look in the bowl to be sure you did it!

Gooey Shit
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your ass 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This shit leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

Second Thought Shit
You're all done wiping your ass and you're about to stand up when you realize it.....you've got some more.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit
This kind is the kind of shit that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

Bali Belly Shit
You shit so much you lose 5 kilos.

Right Now Shit
You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.

King Kong or Commode Choker Shit
This shit is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of shit usually happens at someone else's house.

Wet Cheeks Shit
This shit hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your ass wet.

Wish Shit
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no shit!

Cement Block or Oh God Shit
You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you shit.

Snake Shit
This shit is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.

Cork Shit (Also Known as Floater Shit)
Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This shit usually happens at someone else's house.

Mexican Food Shit (also called Screamers)
You'll know it's alright to eat again when your asshole stops burning.

Beer Drunk Shit
This happens the day after the night before. Normally your shit doesn't smell too bad, but this shit is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of shit also usually happens at someone else's house.

The Frightened Turtle
The kind of shit that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in

The Bungee Shit
The kind of shit that just hangs off your ass before it falls into the water.

The Ring of Fire Shit
The kind of shit where you eat really spicy food and your asshole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.

The Crippler
The kind of shit where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.

The Big Bobber
The kind of shit that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.

The Shitty Shitty Bang Bang
The kind of shit that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.

The Incredible Hulk Shit The king of shit that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size.

The Jack the Ripper Shit
The kind of shit that yanks out the hair of your ass as it pushes its way out.

The Party Pooper
The giant shit you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.

The Toxic Gas Shit
The kind of shit that makes you pass out and fall of the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange South American town.

Dirty Bowl Shit
The kind of shit that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.

The Windy City Shit
When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a shit.

Oh Shit! Shit
You shit so much and wipe your ass so furiously you run out of toilet paper and you say OH SHIT!

The Never Ending Shit
It's the shit that keeps running out of your ass like pea, and just when you start wiping your ass your stomach gargles and splash, more shit runs out. This always happens after eating at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Ouch That Hurt Shit
The type of shit that leaves you feeling like you just hoped onto a bicycle without a seat. Sensation usually lasts hours.

and the family history

[youtube]fesV_6aj8MY[/youtube]

 

[Big Black Dog]

Seriously, why is it 2009 and I still have to wipe my ass, with paper? I know they have toilets that shoot water somewhere, but how is this not main-stream? How is Scott's Tissue still in business in September of 2009?

I felt like such a Neanderthal wiping my ass, wow.

OK, G.T.. I'm going to solve the problem of you wiping your ass with a little thing I've been doing for a good many years now. If you follow my directions, you will never have to wipe your ass again. Here's how it goes.

You know those plastic soda pop bottles? Well, take the paper off of them and then grind up the plastic bottle until it is ground up very fine and in an actual powder state. Then you take a small coffee scoop and sprinkle just a scoop full of the dried plastic powder onto your food when you eat your meals. It is important to do this for every meal. That's three times a day. A scoop sprinkled on your breakfast. A scoop sprinkled on your lunch. A scoop sprinkled on your supper. It will leave you with no after taste - in fact, it has no taste at all and you will get used to doing it in just a couple of days. If you use the correct measurements with the coffee scoop, and you put it on your every meal, when you take a shit it will come out wrapped up in a zip locked plastic bag and all you will have to do is pick it up and toss it in the trash can. By using this little trick of mine, you not only save the trees by not using any toilet paper but you also conserve water too.

I've been doing it for about 8 or 9 years. Works every time for me! Give it a try. Most likely it will work for you too.

 

[G.T.]

Seriously, why is it 2009 and I still have to wipe my ass, with paper? I know they have toilets that shoot water somewhere, but how is this not main-stream? How is Scott's Tissue still in business in September of 2009?

I felt like such a Neanderthal wiping my ass, wow.

OK, G.T.. I'm going to solve the problem of you wiping your ass with a little thing I've been doing for a good many years now. If you follow my directions, you will never have to wipe your ass again. Here's how it goes.

You know those plastic soda pop bottles? Well, take the paper off of them and then grind up the plastic bottle until it is ground up very fine and in an actual powder state. Then you take a small coffee scoop and sprinkle just a scoop full of the dried plastic powder onto your food when you eat your meals. It is important to do this for every meal. That's three times a day. A scoop sprinkled on your breakfast. A scoop sprinkled on your lunch. A scoop sprinkled on your supper. It will leave you with no after taste - in fact, it has no taste at all and you will get used to doing it in just a couple of days. If you use the correct measurements with the coffee scoop, and you put it on your every meal, when you take a shit it will come out wrapped up in a zip locked plastic bag and all you will have to do is pick it up and toss it in the trash can. By using this little trick of mine, you not only save the trees by not using any toilet paper but you also conserve water too.

I've been doing it for about 8 or 9 years. Works every time for me! Give it a try. Most likely it will work for you too.

Great Lyrics!! Will see again!!

 

[Ipsl]

Maybe some kinda of spray and suction apparatus?

This thread has potential

 

[Coloradomtnman]

Okay, I'm going to puke.

What! How are you going to puke at that when you posted above about shitty, hairy asses!