Things you would never know w/o the movies...

Discussion in 'Humor' started by deciophobic, Jul 21, 2004.

  1. deciophobic
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    deciophobic Guest

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    During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

    When they are alone, all foriegners like to speak english to each other.

    All beds have special L-shaped bed covers which reach up to the armpit on a woman, but only to the waist of the man laying beside her.

    The ventalation system of any building is the perfect hiding place- no one will ever think to look up there, and you can travel to any part of the building undetected.

    All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red numbers so you can know exactly when they are going to go off.

    A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

    Midiaval peasants had perfect teeth.

    It is ALWAYS possible to park directly out front of the building you are visiting, even in New York.

    It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a martial arts fight- your enemies will patiently attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.

    Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language- simply having a German accent will do.

    If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate the matter only in their most revealing underwear.

    Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
     
  2. UsaPride
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    UsaPride Senior Member

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    Very Funny!! :rotflmao:
     
  3. Hobbit
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    Hobbit Senior Member

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    Check out www.eviloverlord.com. It has some stuff along the same lines, such as:

    My ventilations ducts will be too small to crawl through.

    I will never put a reverse switch on my ultimate doomsday device.

    Any of my legions of terror that are incapable of hitting a man-sized target at 4 meters will be used for target practice.

    I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
     
  4. Moi
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    Moi Active Member

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    I loved that!
     

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