The Tweet of God!

[RosieS]

Who knew the Almighty was jealous of the balmy climes of Florida in January?

How hella cold is it up there anyway?!?!

Regards from Rosie

 

[Synthaholic]

Another possible tweet of G-d:

"Whoever composed EVERY SPERM IS SACRED writes crappy melodies."

Are you kidding? That's an ear worm that I don't mind.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

So God...

Three issues:

What are next week's Super Lotto numbers?
What's your favorite chicken & rice recipe?
Why are you such a sadistic prick?

View attachment 35613

Yabut, THIS really IS the year.



I don't tweet but, after reading this, I might just have to follow god!


Yes, I really did write that.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

This gets Best Thread Of Many Years Award.

God using the F word and talking about how he is going to kill everyone in 2015 but says that about killing everyone each year is good humor? I fail to see it, Emily!!!!

I suspect that god can take it - even if his followers can't.

 

[Mertex]

I just hope the 92% Christian aren't of the Westboro Baptist Chruch kind.....

 

[Derideo_Te]

Sounds more like someone hates God and feels like mocking Him to me. Let's see how that works out for them. I'm believing it won't be good. Maybe some catastrophe will hit them so hard it will take their breath away - when they finally catch it their first words will be - Oh! God! Please help!

I've seen it all too often.

Goodnight.

Does this sound like someone who hates God and is mocking him?

If you believe that God inspired men to write the bible then why is it impossible to believe that God isn't inspiring someone to write Tweets like this one?

God probably does have a sense of humor too, after all if he created us in all of our ignorance and stupidity he must have one IMO.

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

Sounds more like someone hates God and feels like mocking Him to me. Let's see how that works out for them. I'm believing it won't be good. Maybe some catastrophe will hit them so hard it will take their breath away - when they finally catch it their first words will be - Oh! God! Please help!

I've seen it all too often.

Goodnight.

Does this sound like someone who hates God and is mocking him?

View attachment 35644

If you believe that God inspired men to write the bible then why is it impossible to believe that God isn't inspiring someone to write Tweets like this one?

God probably does have a sense of humor too, after all if he created us in all of our ignorance and stupidity he must have one IMO.

So you finally admit there is a God, Derideo? That is encouraging news.
As for the guy who managed to get it right "ONCE" in all those tweets? Even a broken clock is right twice a day, De. I'm just not impressed.

Especially the one where he used the F word and made God look like he was a double minded liar - not to mention murderer. That one troubled me. If it doesn't trouble others then that is between them and God and that is all I have to say.

p.s. God does have a sense of humor. I know this personally. He also laughs. He can whistle too. It's in the bible.

 

[Derideo_Te]

Sounds more like someone hates God and feels like mocking Him to me. Let's see how that works out for them. I'm believing it won't be good. Maybe some catastrophe will hit them so hard it will take their breath away - when they finally catch it their first words will be - Oh! God! Please help!

I've seen it all too often.

Goodnight.

Does this sound like someone who hates God and is mocking him?

View attachment 35644

If you believe that God inspired men to write the bible then why is it impossible to believe that God isn't inspiring someone to write Tweets like this one?

God probably does have a sense of humor too, after all if he created us in all of our ignorance and stupidity he must have one IMO.

So you finally admit there is a God, Derideo? That is encouraging news.
As for the guy who managed to get it right "ONCE" in all those tweets? Even a broken clock is right twice a day, De. I'm just not impressed.

Especially the one where he used the F word and made God look like he was a double minded liar - not to mention murderer. That one troubled me. If it doesn't trouble others then that is between them and God and that is all I have to say.

p.s. God does have a sense of humor. I know this personally. He also laughs. He can whistle too. It's in the bible.

I used the qualifier "If", Jeri. No, I don't believe there is an omnipotent "creator" because that is a paradox.

As far as how your God chooses to communicate isn't that entirely up to him? Must he only stick to thees and thous? Or can he speak in plain terms that anyone can understand?

Your God didn't mince words when it came to getting some of his messages across in the OT. He ordered the murder of women and children and even abortions of pregnant women. He is no pansy when it comes to killing so why do you expect him to not use the F word when he invented F'ing in the first place?

He has 1.74 million followers already. How many preachers would give their right arm for a congregation that size? Obviously he is getting his message across and isn't that what it is all about?

Getting out the message?

Just because you don't like the language doesn't mean that the message isn't coming across loud and clear to those followers.

 

[Derideo_Te]

 

[Derideo_Te]

 

[Statistikhengst]

Why would G-d tweet, when he can just control us through flouride?

Because the last time God told mankind to write down what he was saying it got lost in translation.

Now he gets to say exactly what he means in 140 characters or less. No need for any interpretations.

Moses had ONE THING he just had to do right and the damn fool dropped and broke most of it.

Well, shit, the MOFOs were heavy!!!

 

[Statistikhengst]

Who knew the Almighty was jealous of the balmy climes of Florida in January?

How hella cold is it up there anyway?!?!

Regards from Rosie

Depends whom you cuddle up with!

 

[RosieS]

Who knew the Almighty was jealous of the balmy climes of Florida in January?

How hella cold is it up there anyway?!?!

Regards from Rosie

Depends whom you cuddle up with!

Hmmm...who would I wanna cuddle up with in the afterlife? Hmmmm.

If it is so cold up there, how am I gonna pack extra socks?

Looks like I will need a guy that plays footsie a lot.

Regards from Rosie

 

[Statistikhengst]

Who knew the Almighty was jealous of the balmy climes of Florida in January?

How hella cold is it up there anyway?!?!

Regards from Rosie

Depends whom you cuddle up with!

Hmmm...who would I wanna cuddle up with in the afterlife? Hmmmm.

If it is so cold up there, how am I gonna pack extra socks?

Looks like I will need a guy that plays footsie a lot.

Regards from Rosie

0011001100110011001100110011001100110011!!!

 

[RosieS]

Who knew the Almighty was jealous of the balmy climes of Florida in January?

How hella cold is it up there anyway?!?!

Regards from Rosie

Depends whom you cuddle up with!

Hmmm...who would I wanna cuddle up with in the afterlife? Hmmmm.

If it is so cold up there, how am I gonna pack extra socks?

Looks like I will need a guy that plays footsie a lot.

Regards from Rosie

0011001100110011001100110011001100110011!!!

Otay, it's a date!



Fond Regards from Rosie