Delta4Embassy
Gold Member
The Smartest Thing I ve Ever Read About Consent Buster Ross
"Cathy Young's recent piece in the Washington Post, "Feminists want us to define these ugly sexual encounters as rape. Don't let them," is the most important piece to appear in the minefield of modern discourse on "affirmative consent."
As a sex educator, my work is all about supporting people to be able to have important sexual health conversations, and to be empowered in their bodies and what they choose to do with them. There is a new sexual shame that is going unchecked, one that says to make any "mistakes" or have "regrettable sexual experiences" is always wrong, when in fact, it is how we often learn.
Shame is actually far more problematic than anything else assumed to be a sex problem. This emerging sexual perfectionism is just a repackaging of the old idea that sex is dirty, something to fear, something that is bad. To give the message that sex should always be a certain way is troubling. We instead need to focus on the principles of sexual health, which each of us can interpret in different ways based on the unique people all of us.
You, the person reading this, you are only reading this because at least one of your parents had an orgasm while having sex with another parent many years ago, and it's quite likely that both of them had an orgasm -- one so powerful that it created you.
Sex is wonderful, but violence isn't. Sex isn't the problem. Violence is the problem. But even more than violence, our inability to communicate is the problem. "
rest at link (bolded mine)
"Cathy Young's recent piece in the Washington Post, "Feminists want us to define these ugly sexual encounters as rape. Don't let them," is the most important piece to appear in the minefield of modern discourse on "affirmative consent."
As a sex educator, my work is all about supporting people to be able to have important sexual health conversations, and to be empowered in their bodies and what they choose to do with them. There is a new sexual shame that is going unchecked, one that says to make any "mistakes" or have "regrettable sexual experiences" is always wrong, when in fact, it is how we often learn.
Shame is actually far more problematic than anything else assumed to be a sex problem. This emerging sexual perfectionism is just a repackaging of the old idea that sex is dirty, something to fear, something that is bad. To give the message that sex should always be a certain way is troubling. We instead need to focus on the principles of sexual health, which each of us can interpret in different ways based on the unique people all of us.
You, the person reading this, you are only reading this because at least one of your parents had an orgasm while having sex with another parent many years ago, and it's quite likely that both of them had an orgasm -- one so powerful that it created you.
Sex is wonderful, but violence isn't. Sex isn't the problem. Violence is the problem. But even more than violence, our inability to communicate is the problem. "
rest at link (bolded mine)