The Sidepiece Agreement: 10 Rules for The Other Woman

[Diana1180]

So why not find someone who wants an open relationship where you both have that option. Or is it only ok for the man to sleep with someone else since it's "in their nature"?

Or just be single. Play the field.

You made a commitment to your partner. Unless there is an agreed upon arrangement by both parties involved, it's lying and cheating. And yes, usually there is a reason why you felt you needed to go outside of your marriage. Sex. Money. Stress. All reasons. But not good enough reasons to cheat IMO.

 

[ClosedCaption]

I partially disagree with your disagreement.

Yes we can have sex without emotions being attached but in a marriage you have made a commitment and now have emotions invested in your partner. It cant not mean anything if you break that commitment and go sleep with someone else. There is an issue there that caused you to break that bond you voluntarily committed to.

See but you're blending the two things.

Yes we can have sex without emotions.

Yes you made a commitment.

Having sex with someone else has nothing to do with the commitment you made. For example: If I cheat on my wife I dont suddenly question our entire relationship and believe its over.

Another example: If I cheat on my wife that is not honoring the commitment but it also doesnt mean that something is wrong in the commitment I'm in either.

Thats a head scratcher.

In your vows did you make a statement to the affect that you would only be with her? If so how is being with another woman not breaking your commitment? You may not question it but she definitely will.

Yeah because shes a girl and they make decisions based on their emotional state at the time. No one wants to admit that but everyone knows it.

Breaking a vow is one thing but the commitment you have with your wife is another thing. Just because someone cheats doesnt mean they dont love their wife. Again that women logic like when they find out someone cheated and they silly stuff like "Everything was a lie" or "You dont love me because if you did you wouldnt have cheated".

If you agree it is breaking that commitment how can something not be wrong with the commitment? You just maimed it by cheating.

So basically its like a voodoo doll. I cheat over there and it causes a dent in my relationship over -----> here.

Sorry man I cant agree with that at all.

 

[Diana1180]

But doesn't your wife's feelings come into at at all? I mean so far it has been all about you. She didn't sign up for that.

 

[Diana1180]

And this conversation isn't giving my any hope of finding a man who will be honest and faithful lol.

Better to stay single!

 

[ClosedCaption]

So why not find someone who wants an open relationship where you both have that option. Or is it only ok for the man to sleep with someone else since it's "in their nature"?

Finding that is hard especially when all men want to cheat but they dont want to share their women. We hoard.

Or just be single. Play the field.

You made a commitment to your partner. Unless there is an agreed upon arrangement by both parties involved, it's lying and cheating. And yes, usually there is a reason why you felt you needed to go outside of your marriage. Sex. Money. Stress. All reasons. But not good enough reasons to cheat IMO.

I agree but heres the funny thing about it. If a woman is fed up and you get her reasons for cheating it all seems so reasonable doesnt it?

Emotionally absent hubby? The Spark isnt there? Etc etc....Its all so whimsical. Those are "good reasons". But because men are dogs and women typically are not...thats a pass.

For men, there are no good reasons ever. I'm talking about in society not you individually

 

[Asclepias]

And this conversation isn't giving my any hope of finding a man who will be honest and faithful lol.

Better to stay single!

Dont despair. There are guys that dont give in to our base nature and cheat. I have a theory that guys that do it do so because they have not slept around enough before settling down. After a couple of hundred you get it out of your system.

 

[ClosedCaption]

And this conversation isn't giving my any hope of finding a man who will be honest and faithful lol.

Better to stay single!

Dont despair. There are guys that dont give in to our base nature and cheat. I have a theory that guys that do it do so because they have not slept around enough before settling down. After a couple of hundred you get it out of your system.

you were really helping her until that line

 

[Diana1180]

And this conversation isn't giving my any hope of finding a man who will be honest and faithful lol.

Better to stay single!

Dont despair. There are guys that dont give in to our base nature and cheat. I have a theory that guys that do it do so because they have not slept around enough before settling down. After a couple of hundred you get it out of your system.

you were really helping her until that line

Lol! Seriously. Thanks for the pep talk?

Lol.

 

[ClosedCaption]

But doesn't your wife's feelings come into at at all? I mean so far it has been all about you. She didn't sign up for that.

Sure it does but its really hard being faithful. Any guy can tell you that its like fighting nature and testosterone all day long

And this conversation isn't giving my any hope of finding a man who will be honest and faithful lol.

Better to stay single!

Its always better to have loved and lost than never had love at all

 

[Asclepias]

Dont despair. There are guys that dont give in to our base nature and cheat. I have a theory that guys that do it do so because they have not slept around enough before settling down. After a couple of hundred you get it out of your system.

you were really helping her until that line

Lol! Seriously. Thanks for the pep talk?

Lol.

I'm sorry!! Why does that really matter how many partners he had before you?

 

[Diana1180]

Sure it does but its really hard being faithful. Any guy can tell you that its like fighting nature and testosterone all day long

Seriously? This is the reasoning you want to give? lol

So what if your wife wanted an open relationship? You love each other..but both want "variety". It IS possible for woman to have sex without emotion attached. Trust me. I have done it. SO she gets to play..and so do you.

Would that be ok with you?

 

[Asclepias]

And this conversation isn't giving my any hope of finding a man who will be honest and faithful lol.

Better to stay single!

Dont despair. There are guys that dont give in to our base nature and cheat. I have a theory that guys that do it do so because they have not slept around enough before settling down. After a couple of hundred you get it out of your system.

you were really helping her until that line

Now that you mention it that didnt sound too kosher.

 

[Diana1180]

you were really helping her until that line

Lol! Seriously. Thanks for the pep talk?

Lol.

I'm sorry!! Why does that really matter how many partners he had before you?

It doesnt... only matters what partners he has while with me. Hopefully that answer is one (me).

 

[ClosedCaption]

Sure it does but its really hard being faithful. Any guy can tell you that its like fighting nature and testosterone all day long

Seriously? This is the reasoning you want to give? lol

So what if your wife wanted an open relationship? You love each other..but both want "variety". It IS possible for woman to have sex without emotion attached. Trust me. I have done it. SO she gets to play..and so do you.

Would that be ok with you?

With someone else maybe

Its mainly a fantasy that women can have sex without emotions. When they experience pleasure their brain produces endorphins thats similar to love. While some women can fight it off most just pretend they can because they are "different" but most people are generally the same

 

[Diana1180]

Sure it does but its really hard being faithful. Any guy can tell you that its like fighting nature and testosterone all day long

Seriously? This is the reasoning you want to give? lol

So what if your wife wanted an open relationship? You love each other..but both want "variety". It IS possible for woman to have sex without emotion attached. Trust me. I have done it. SO she gets to play..and so do you.

Would that be ok with you?

With someone else maybe

Its mainly a fantasy that women can have sex without emotions. When they experience pleasure their brain produces endorphins thats similar to love. While some women can fight it off most just pretend they can because they are "different" but most people are generally the same

So, no? She would not be able to have the same freedoms you take as far as sex goes?

And dont give me the emotions crap. I know people that belong to a lifestyle where sex is just sex..for men and woman.

So to recap.... You are ok cheating on your wife and lying to her and breaking your vows, but, she cannot do the same in return to you.

("You" being in general terms since I am assuming you are just debating the mens side of this topic and I dont know anything about your personal life)

 

[ClosedCaption]

Seriously? This is the reasoning you want to give? lol

So what if your wife wanted an open relationship? You love each other..but both want "variety". It IS possible for woman to have sex without emotion attached. Trust me. I have done it. SO she gets to play..and so do you.

Would that be ok with you?

With someone else maybe

Its mainly a fantasy that women can have sex without emotions. When they experience pleasure their brain produces endorphins thats similar to love. While some women can fight it off most just pretend they can because they are "different" but most people are generally the same

So, no? She would not be able to have the same freedoms you take as far as sex goes?

Sure she can just not with me. lol

And dont give me the emotions crap. I know people that belong to a lifestyle where sex is just sex..for men and woman.

Its not crap its science. Again you can dislike it but its not going anywhere and there are always exceptions to the rule

So to recap.... You are ok cheating on your wife and lying to her and breaking your vows, but, she cannot do the same in return to you.

Let me clarify: This is hypothtical I dont cheat on my wife but I understand those that do. Sure she can I cant control her vagina but I would have a problem with it because as mentioned before women cheat for other reasons (or excuses) than men do

("You" being in general terms since I am assuming you are just debating the mens side of this topic and I dont know anything about your personal life)

 

[Esmeralda]

The Sidepiece Agreement: 10 Rules for The Other Woman*|*Zondra Hughes

A close male friend (who used to cheat on his wife) has enlightened me that some of us otherwise intelligent chicks enter into the Sidepiece Agreement -- that is, knowingly becoming the mistress or other woman -- without fully understanding the terms of the deal.

My friend should know; he had a lover that stalked his wife and told her everything after they broke up. His wife gave him another chance and my friend seems to be on the good foot these days.

However, my friend explained the dirty details of what men expect of their sidepieces, even if they don't explain the rules as thoroughly as they should. Thus, without further ado, here are the top 10 rules that men expect their sidepieces to know.

1. You are the other woman. This does not mean that you are the only other woman. Act accordingly.

2. Please focus on the stolen moments that we spend together. Do not concern yourself with my whereabouts when we are apart. Frankly speaking, my life outside of our time together is not your concern.

3. Be comfortable with who you are to me; do not mention my wife and/or main woman, as she is not your concern. Do NOT compare yourself to my main chick in any way and do not attempt to contact her -- to do so would be a breach of our agreement.

4. Anticipate frequent changes in our plans; for the most part, a spur of the moment escape is the best that I can do.

5. You must understand that maintaining a positive vibe while we are in each other's company is vital to the success of our situationship. No bickering or nagging about promises that I didn't keep.

6. We are secret lovers; we can't blast our situationship to the world. Please don't tag me on Facebook, and don't send me invitations to your work/family functions or events. Major holidays -- more likely than not -- will be missed.

7. No discussions about "where this situationship is headed." We are where we will be; together, in this moment. Enjoy it.

8. Yes, I am still sleeping with my significant other, and we do not use condoms. Again, focus on our time together, and not what I do while we are apart.

9. I am not interested in bringing a child into our situationship. By the way, an unplanned pregnancy will not force a relationship commitment of any kind from me nor will it guarantee a promotion to main chick status for you.

10. There are no guarantees about the outcome of our situationship save one: I am a cheater at heart, and that won't change unless I want it to. Until that happens, if you are promoted to the main chick, please know that yet another sidepiece will fill the vacancy that you've left behind.

And one last piece of advice that my friend wants sidepieces to know: If you choose to enter into a situationship with someone do not get emotionally attached, as things won't be easy for you if and when you separate.

What a lot of sexist bullshit. What do you call a man who has an affair with a married women? Got a put down label for him too? Is he a betrayer of all other men? Is he a pathetic loser too? Jesus. It is only women who are morally corrupt according to bastards like you.

I don't condone affairs at all, but to put down only women who engage in them shows what a piece of shit you are.

 

[ClosedCaption]

The Sidepiece Agreement: 10 Rules for The Other Woman*|*Zondra Hughes

A close male friend (who used to cheat on his wife) has enlightened me that some of us otherwise intelligent chicks enter into the Sidepiece Agreement -- that is, knowingly becoming the mistress or other woman -- without fully understanding the terms of the deal.

My friend should know; he had a lover that stalked his wife and told her everything after they broke up. His wife gave him another chance and my friend seems to be on the good foot these days.

However, my friend explained the dirty details of what men expect of their sidepieces, even if they don't explain the rules as thoroughly as they should. Thus, without further ado, here are the top 10 rules that men expect their sidepieces to know.

1. You are the other woman. This does not mean that you are the only other woman. Act accordingly.

2. Please focus on the stolen moments that we spend together. Do not concern yourself with my whereabouts when we are apart. Frankly speaking, my life outside of our time together is not your concern.

3. Be comfortable with who you are to me; do not mention my wife and/or main woman, as she is not your concern. Do NOT compare yourself to my main chick in any way and do not attempt to contact her -- to do so would be a breach of our agreement.

4. Anticipate frequent changes in our plans; for the most part, a spur of the moment escape is the best that I can do.

5. You must understand that maintaining a positive vibe while we are in each other's company is vital to the success of our situationship. No bickering or nagging about promises that I didn't keep.

6. We are secret lovers; we can't blast our situationship to the world. Please don't tag me on Facebook, and don't send me invitations to your work/family functions or events. Major holidays -- more likely than not -- will be missed.

7. No discussions about "where this situationship is headed." We are where we will be; together, in this moment. Enjoy it.

8. Yes, I am still sleeping with my significant other, and we do not use condoms. Again, focus on our time together, and not what I do while we are apart.

9. I am not interested in bringing a child into our situationship. By the way, an unplanned pregnancy will not force a relationship commitment of any kind from me nor will it guarantee a promotion to main chick status for you.

10. There are no guarantees about the outcome of our situationship save one: I am a cheater at heart, and that won't change unless I want it to. Until that happens, if you are promoted to the main chick, please know that yet another sidepiece will fill the vacancy that you've left behind.

And one last piece of advice that my friend wants sidepieces to know: If you choose to enter into a situationship with someone do not get emotionally attached, as things won't be easy for you if and when you separate.

What a lot of sexist bullshit. What do you call a man who has an affair with a married women?

The sidepiece I thought that was obvious

Got a put down label for him too? Is he a betrayer of all other men? Is he a pathetic loser too? Jesus. It is only women who are morally corrupt according to bastards like you.

Wait, I didnt put anyone down, call anyone a betrayer or a pathetic loser. You are putting your judgements into my mouth and asking for an explantion. I dont have one because I didnt say any of that.

I don't condone affairs at all, but to put down only women who engage in them shows what a piece of shit you are.

Where is the put down exactly? Remember tho, I dont write for the Huffpo.

 

[Diana1180]

I agree but heres the funny thing about it. If a woman is fed up and you get her reasons for cheating it all seems so reasonable doesnt it?

Emotionally absent hubby? The Spark isnt there? Etc etc....Its all so whimsical. Those are "good reasons". But because men are dogs and women typically are not...thats a pass.

For men, there are no good reasons ever. I'm talking about in society not you individually

Sorry, totally missed this post.

Man or woman...I dont condone cheating. In my book there is never a good reason. You completely betray the person who has put their trust in you.

It may take years for the spouse to find out about the cheating, but in the end, it always comes out. THen yes, that person feels their whole married life has been a lie. Memories are tainted. What else have they lied about. The trust is gone. Every time you walk out that door, they will be wondering if youre going to cheat on them. Thats not a way to live. Do people get past infidelity? Of course they do. But its a hard, long road. Never mind if there are children involved. They will sense soemthing is "off".

So a few nights of "variety" to kill the mundane .... is it worth it?

 

[ClosedCaption]

I agree but heres the funny thing about it. If a woman is fed up and you get her reasons for cheating it all seems so reasonable doesnt it?

Emotionally absent hubby? The Spark isnt there? Etc etc....Its all so whimsical. Those are "good reasons". But because men are dogs and women typically are not...thats a pass.

For men, there are no good reasons ever. I'm talking about in society not you individually

Sorry, totally missed this post.

Man or woman...I dont condone cheating. In my book there is never a good reason. You completely betray the person who has put their trust in you.

It may take years for the spouse to find out about the cheating, but in the end, it always comes out. THen yes, that person feels their whole married life has been a lie. Memories are tainted. What else have they lied about. The trust is gone.

Thats womens thinking tho. Once viewed logically everyone sees that this frame of mind makes no sense.

Every time you walk out that door, they will be wondering if youre going to cheat on them. Thats not a way to live. Do people get past infidelity? Of course they do. But its a hard, long road. Never mind if there are children involved. They will sense soemthing is "off".

So a few nights of "variety" to kill the mundane .... is it worth it?

It really depends on the individual. I mean like someone else said they were in a bad marriage and cheated which ended the marriage. Overall it can be for the better if things are falling apart. If not and everything is fine then of course the repercussions arent worth it but gamblers gamble