The retirement center

[RWNJ]

80-year old Bessie burst into the recreation room at a retirement home. She held her clenched fist in the air and announced, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!"
An elderly gentleman in the rear shouted out, "An elephant?"
Bessie thought for a minute and said, "Close enough."

 

[Witchit]

Old joke from Bette Midler, adjusted for Skandahoovians.

Ole and Lena are having their spring solstice festivities when suddenly Ole says "Oh, Lena; you're too tight and you got no tits!" Lena says "Oh Ole; shut up and get off my back."