The Problem with Jade Helm

It's been a month now since martial law was declared and patriots in seven states were all rounded up by 1100 guys who swarmed out of WalMart's secret underground lairs.

I have only surfaced to get out this brief report before I have to go back to the Resistance caves.

We are down to our last bits of rice and water, and we are running low on iodine tablets. If anyone receives this message, please let us know when it is safe to come out by leaving a note behind the toilet in the third stall in the Phoenix airport men's room.
 

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