(Strange, I thought this was funny but obviously, it just SUCKS)... (sorry about that Lumpy)... Through in depth research and loads of time and effort I have come up with the Democrat guidelines for "The Perfect Republican" during an Obama speech. 1) If Obama is making a speech.. (Be prepared)...Take care of any personal needs that may impinge upon your ability to provide complete attention. Provide yourself with a refreshment, preferably kool-aide. Assume comfortable kneeling position upon the floor . Place arms at your sides or on your lap but be prepare to assume praying or two arm raised above head, worshiping positions. Clear you mind of all thought. Open mouth, in gapping fashion when Obama begins to speak and on through, until speech is complete. Note: During speech try to remember that everything you hear is complete and trustworthy. This may be difficult in the beginning but over time, you will adjust. If you find it necessary in the beginning you may, stand, run around the room in concentric circles, raise your hands above your head and scream obscenities, BUT, return to kneeing position as soon as humanly possible.