The Drunk Test

[Kooshdakhaa]

I scored an 18.

If you answered “yes” to more than 8 questions, you may have a serious level of alcohol-related problems requiring immediate attention and possible treatment. You should seek professional guidance.

I can laugh because I answered the questions according to how I was when I was still drinking. I haven't had a drink in 15 years. So I can laugh about it.

See, no denial, no anger, no getting pissed off about the questions. Because I acknowledged my problem and quit drinking, so quizzes like this don't make me angry, they remind me how lucky I am to have gotten this problem under control.

Thank God.

 

[Noomi]

I don't drink, so I was pleasantly surprised when it told me I wasn't an alcoholic, lol.

 

[Darkwind]

I follow one basic test.

If I go to meetings, I'm an alcoholic.

Otherwise, I"m just a drunk.

 

[Papageorgio]

Silly test, I drink once a week at the most, and it is during a dinner. I scored a four.

I guess it depends on the intent of the person who designed the questions that could garnish the answers and results desired.

It reminds me of those self diagnose test. Are you tired at the end of the day?
Do you get irritable when things don't go as planned? Do you get headaches? If you stand up real fast do you sometimes get dizzy? Then you may have......

They get laughable.

 

[asterism]

I was forced to take a quiz like this when I was in high school after getting caught taking a sip of alcohol in a field trip. This was ONE SIP, but since it was at a school function I was suspended from school for 3 days and then sent for 2 weeks to a school for troublemakers.

Signs of Problem Drinking

Do you lose time from classes due to drinking? Yes, I got suspended
Do you drink because you are uncomfortable in social situations? No
Do you drink to build up your self confidence? No
Is drinking affecting your relationships with friends? Yes, I got suspended and grounded
Do you drink alone? No
Do you drink to escape from studies or home worries? No
Do you feel guilty or depressed after drinking? Yes, I got suspended and grounded
Does it bother you if someone says that maybe you drink too much? Yes, because I only took ONE SIP
Do you have to take a drink when you go out on a date? No
Do you get along better with other people when you drink? No
Do you get into financial troubles over buying liquor? No
Do you feel more important when you drink? No
Have you lost friends since you started drinking? Yes, other kids' parents wouldn't let me hang out with them
Do you drink more than most of your friends? No
Have you started hanging around with a crowd that drinks more than your old friends? No
Do you drink until you just couldn't drink anymore? No
Have you ever had a complete loss of memory from drinking? No
Have you ever been to a hospital or been arrested due to drunken behavior? The counselor said that my suspension counted as a YES
Do you turn off to any studies or lectures about drinking? No
Do you think you have a problem with alcohol? No

3 "yes" answers on that quiz meant that the subject is an alcoholic. 6 "yes" answers set off all sorts of alarms from the school counselors, all from taking one sip of a bottle being passed around the bus and getting caught. We actually did a study later in the year and I gave the quiz to the other kids on the bus that didn't get caught. NONE of them had any yes answers. So what was the difference between them and me? I GOT CAUGHT.

That's the problem with these quizzes, they are all biased towards telling someone that they have an addiction problem when no problem exists.

 

[g5000]

Yay another test that almost always says you're a drunk.

If every test about alcoholism you take indicates you have a problem, it may not be the tests which are the problem...

 

[FJO]

Everyone must believe in something.

I believe I will have another drink.

 

[Politico]

Here here burrrrrrpp.