The Drunk Test

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Alcoholism test

 

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Here is the correct link:

Alcoholism test

 

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Disregard this thread.

 

[Politico]

See? Stop drinking so much and this wouldn't happen.

 

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Okay, here is the test. It is not the usual Alcoholics Anonymous test. It seems to be a different one.

Alcoholism test

 

[Politico]

Yay another test that almost always says you're a drunk.

 

[Mr. H.]

Well, at least I don't fall into the "serious" category.

 

[asterism]

Such a stupid test. 2 yes answers means one should meet with a professional?

How about these "yes" answers:

"2. Can you handle more alcohol now than when you first started to drink?" Duh! Any casual adult drinker can handle more alcohol than they could when they were much younger and never drank.

"21. Have you recently noticed that you can’t drink as much as you used to?" Well let's see here. As we go into middle age, our metabolism slows down. Also, things like jobs and kids cut into social time so anyone who drank more in the past would have a lower tolerance now.

"8. Has a family member or close friend express concern or complained about your drinking?" Yes, the people on my wife's side of the family that are extreme Baptists and say all alcohol is sinful.

"11. Do you usually have a reason for the occasions when you drink heavily?" So if I don't have an occasion to drink heavily (birthday, New Year's Eve, Superbowl) it's better?

"15. Have you ever had a DWI (driving while intoxicated) or DUI (driving under the influence
of alcohol) violation, or any other legal problem related to your drinking?" One strong Martini is all it takes to put many women over the legal limit to drive. That doesn't mean she has a drinking problem, it means she has an information problem.

This test is absolute bullshit.

 

[Mr. H.]

This test is absolute bullshit.

Denial.

Isn't that one of the symptoms?

 

[pacer]

Such a stupid test. 2 yes answers means one should meet with a professional?

How about these "yes" answers:

"2. Can you handle more alcohol now than when you first started to drink?" Duh! Any casual adult drinker can handle more alcohol than they could when they were much younger and never drank.

"21. Have you recently noticed that you can’t drink as much as you used to?" Well let's see here. As we go into middle age, our metabolism slows down. Also, things like jobs and kids cut into social time so anyone who drank more in the past would have a lower tolerance now.

"8. Has a family member or close friend express concern or complained about your drinking?" Yes, the people on my wife's side of the family that are extreme Baptists and say all alcohol is sinful.

"11. Do you usually have a reason for the occasions when you drink heavily?" So if I don't have an occasion to drink heavily (birthday, New Year's Eve, Superbowl) it's better?

"15. Have you ever had a DWI (driving while intoxicated) or DUI (driving under the influence
of alcohol) violation, or any other legal problem related to your drinking?" One strong Martini is all it takes to put many women over the legal limit to drive. That doesn't mean she has a drinking problem, it means she has an information problem.

This test is absolute bullshit.

It may not be problematic now but the warning signs are there.

 

[Politico]

Warning signs spare me. Like the question asking if you've tried switching brands or drinks, or following different plans to control your drinking?

So if you have to switch to generic because Morgan is too expensive that means you're a drunk. Who knew?

 

[asaratis]

Such a stupid test. 2 yes answers means one should meet with a professional?

How about these "yes" answers:

"2. Can you handle more alcohol now than when you first started to drink?" Duh! Any casual adult drinker can handle more alcohol than they could when they were much younger and never drank.

"21. Have you recently noticed that you can’t drink as much as you used to?" Well let's see here. As we go into middle age, our metabolism slows down. Also, things like jobs and kids cut into social time so anyone who drank more in the past would have a lower tolerance now.

"8. Has a family member or close friend express concern or complained about your drinking?" Yes, the people on my wife's side of the family that are extreme Baptists and say all alcohol is sinful.

"11. Do you usually have a reason for the occasions when you drink heavily?" So if I don't have an occasion to drink heavily (birthday, New Year's Eve, Superbowl) it's better?

"15. Have you ever had a DWI (driving while intoxicated) or DUI (driving under the influence
of alcohol) violation, or any other legal problem related to your drinking?" One strong Martini is all it takes to put many women over the legal limit to drive. That doesn't mean she has a drinking problem, it means she has an information problem.

This test is absolute bullshit.

If all the Baptists quit drinking, liquor stores all across the Bible Belt will go out of business.

One difference between a Methodist and a Baptist is that the Methodist will speak to you on Sunday after you greet him in a liquor store on Saturday night.

I've never had a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down. No problem!

I'll drink to that!

Cheers!

 

[Mr. H.]

Several years ago I lived in a small community that had been dry for 60 years. One of the councilmen approached me with the idea of getting a liquor referendum on the upcoming ballot.
Not that I have experience in politics, I was just the "go to" guy in that town for just about anything and everything.

We didn't have much time as the election was getting really close. I figured we'd need about $1,000 for yard signs, media coverage, etc. So I told him "I will put that on my credit card, and whether or not this thing passes you will go out into this community and get my investment back from all the closet drunks or else". (Heavily Baptist town)

4 or 5 of us canvassed the town during one 12 hour day and got enough signatures to have it placed on the ballot. Then the Liquor Commission required that the referendum be worded very specifically, and in reading it one gets the impression that in voting "yes" you were voting FOR liquor sales. But the opposite was true. So that was a huge challenge right there.

Got the yard signs, sent out press releases, placed some ads, did some media interviews, held a town meeting....

It passed. I'm a goddamn hero in that town. Also made some enemies LOL.

 

[PixieStix]

I took the test and it says I should go have a drink

 

[asterism]

Such a stupid test. 2 yes answers means one should meet with a professional?

How about these "yes" answers:

"2. Can you handle more alcohol now than when you first started to drink?" Duh! Any casual adult drinker can handle more alcohol than they could when they were much younger and never drank.

"21. Have you recently noticed that you can’t drink as much as you used to?" Well let's see here. As we go into middle age, our metabolism slows down. Also, things like jobs and kids cut into social time so anyone who drank more in the past would have a lower tolerance now.

"8. Has a family member or close friend express concern or complained about your drinking?" Yes, the people on my wife's side of the family that are extreme Baptists and say all alcohol is sinful.

"11. Do you usually have a reason for the occasions when you drink heavily?" So if I don't have an occasion to drink heavily (birthday, New Year's Eve, Superbowl) it's better?

"15. Have you ever had a DWI (driving while intoxicated) or DUI (driving under the influence
of alcohol) violation, or any other legal problem related to your drinking?" One strong Martini is all it takes to put many women over the legal limit to drive. That doesn't mean she has a drinking problem, it means she has an information problem.

This test is absolute bullshit.

It may not be problematic now but the warning signs are there.

What warning signs? Maybe a DUI, but the other items I listed are not indications of any hint of a problem - unless responsible drinking is considered the problem.

 

[asterism]

Warning signs spare me. Like the question asking if you've tried switching brands or drinks, or following different plans to control your drinking?

So if you have to switch to generic because Morgan is too expensive that means you're a drunk. Who knew?

Notice the "following different plans to control your drinking." So a yes to a deliberate action to control drinking is a warning sign? It seems to me not effort to control drinking is the actual "warning sign."

 

[asterism]

Such a stupid test. 2 yes answers means one should meet with a professional?

How about these "yes" answers:

"2. Can you handle more alcohol now than when you first started to drink?" Duh! Any casual adult drinker can handle more alcohol than they could when they were much younger and never drank.

"21. Have you recently noticed that you can’t drink as much as you used to?" Well let's see here. As we go into middle age, our metabolism slows down. Also, things like jobs and kids cut into social time so anyone who drank more in the past would have a lower tolerance now.

"8. Has a family member or close friend express concern or complained about your drinking?" Yes, the people on my wife's side of the family that are extreme Baptists and say all alcohol is sinful.

"11. Do you usually have a reason for the occasions when you drink heavily?" So if I don't have an occasion to drink heavily (birthday, New Year's Eve, Superbowl) it's better?

"15. Have you ever had a DWI (driving while intoxicated) or DUI (driving under the influence
of alcohol) violation, or any other legal problem related to your drinking?" One strong Martini is all it takes to put many women over the legal limit to drive. That doesn't mean she has a drinking problem, it means she has an information problem.

This test is absolute bullshit.

If all the Baptists quit drinking, liquor stores all across the Bible Belt will go out of business.

One difference between a Methodist and a Baptist is that the Methodist will speak to you on Sunday after you greet him in a liquor store on Saturday night.

I've never had a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down. No problem!

I'll drink to that!

Cheers!

True. If you have to fish with a Baptist minister, don't go alone. Otherwise he'll drink all your beer.

 

[Politico]

Warning signs spare me. Like the question asking if you've tried switching brands or drinks, or following different plans to control your drinking?

So if you have to switch to generic because Morgan is too expensive that means you're a drunk. Who knew?

Notice the "following different plans to control your drinking." So a yes to a deliberate action to control drinking is a warning sign? It seems to me not effort to control drinking is the actual "warning sign."

If a person says I know if I drink more than four for five drinks when I wind down at night it gives me a headache. So I will only portion myself out that much. That is control no?

 

[jon_berzerk]

Such a stupid test. 2 yes answers means one should meet with a professional?

How about these "yes" answers:

"2. Can you handle more alcohol now than when you first started to drink?" Duh! Any casual adult drinker can handle more alcohol than they could when they were much younger and never drank.

"21. Have you recently noticed that you can’t drink as much as you used to?" Well let's see here. As we go into middle age, our metabolism slows down. Also, things like jobs and kids cut into social time so anyone who drank more in the past would have a lower tolerance now.

"8. Has a family member or close friend express concern or complained about your drinking?" Yes, the people on my wife's side of the family that are extreme Baptists and say all alcohol is sinful.

"11. Do you usually have a reason for the occasions when you drink heavily?" So if I don't have an occasion to drink heavily (birthday, New Year's Eve, Superbowl) it's better?

"15. Have you ever had a DWI (driving while intoxicated) or DUI (driving under the influence
of alcohol) violation, or any other legal problem related to your drinking?" One strong Martini is all it takes to put many women over the legal limit to drive. That doesn't mean she has a drinking problem, it means she has an information problem.

This test is absolute bullshit.

yes the test is bs

i scored a 2

i drink a couple of beers maybe once a year

--LOL

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

Warning signs spare me. Like the question asking if you've tried switching brands or drinks, or following different plans to control your drinking?

So if you have to switch to generic because Morgan is too expensive that means you're a drunk. Who knew?

The question isn't asking if you switched to save money. It asked if you've switched in an effort to control your drinking. Why is this test irritating you so much? I'd say that's a warning sign. And yes, I know my saying that is very irritating. I used to resent it when people would say stuff like that to me, too.